To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

I think it is when several pp's have assumed that she can't afford childcare and as I was responding to, suggesting OP to give her snacks and a box of colouring stuff and the such like.

Some people think poorer people shouldnt have televisión or mobile phones and wear rags too, but that doesnt make them right. We are not living in the 18th century anymore.

It’s stupid to be so overly anxious that you can’t risk assess.

Do you honestly think OP has checked the insurance of her cleaner, who is more likely to break or steal something than the 10 year old?

Really?

It was a ridiculous and judgemental statement and has no place on this thread.

She really should’ve asked. The arrangement is that she comes to clean your home, not that she brings any friends, family, children or pets etc with her for the duration so she certainly should’ve never have assumed that you’re fine with a child sitting in your living room for a few hours. That said, it’s clear she has no childcare options, that she’d probably not be able to work if she couldn’t bring her child, and that she’s being responsible by not leaving her alone. You have to weigh up how good she is as a cleaner and if you’d want the hassle of raising this and potentially losing her. The delicate way to raise it might be to say something like, ‘Has your daughter always come to work with you during the holidays? I didn’t realise this was going to happen. We need to discuss it as I work from home and there will be some days that this won’t work for me.’

It's a valid point considering the assumptions the cleaner is poor. You aren't the thread police.

🙄

It is not a valid point. Ah, the old ‘thread police’ jargon.

I clearly disagree. That's exactly what you were trying to do though.

It was an awful comment to make. It's very clear the point you were hinting at.

No I wasn’t, in the context of this thread it was a ridiculous comment to make.

I wasn't hinting at anything, I outright said that the cleaner might not be struggling as much as some pp's think since her child has an ipad which don't come cheap. This was in response to agreeing with a pp about responding to someone suggesting a box of crafts and colouring stuff for her daughter like the OP's cleaner is some kind of charity case.

It’s basic common sense and necessary. In this situation the cleaner hasn’t asked if her child can stay at the OP’s house whilst she works there so I don’t think she’ll be declaring if her kid breaks something.

So you know how that the IPAD was paid for by the DM? Or just more whataboutery on this thread?

Just why would you even say it?

I don't know.

Just as no one knows the DM's financials or her childcare situation or if she is a single parent and many, many other assumptions pp's have made.

Or stealing….. don’t forget that!!

You assume a lot of stuff don’t you! The OP says the cleaner is trustworthy after all.

Again, the cleaner is surely much more likely to break something, than a child of 10 sitting still for a couple of hours a week, during just the summer holidays?

So, do you think OP has asked for the cleaners insurance?

You seem to be missing the point that if a family is poor, they can still have items brought for them from other family members and/or friends.

So why did you bring up the iPad as a way of saying she’s not poor? It’s just odd to even bring it into the discussion.

How did you get to that conclusion? Are you saying that cleaners are inherently dishonest and dont own up when their kids break things? Family and friends can and do do that too but it is not a professional characterístic of cleaners. Your comment says more about you that it does about the cleaner

Of course they can.

Just as not all cleaners are poor or single parents or can't afford childcare.

Everyone has made assumptions that may or may not be correct, myself included.

I don’t understand how a child just sitting somewhere can feel “off”. I would just crack on with my work, it’s only 2 hours.

I’ve come to the conclusion you are being deliberately obtuse so I’ll leave you to it.

There’s some pretty disgusting insinuations about what a cleaner’s character is like on this thread.

I’d assume that she’d rather her daughter was in a cracking summer camp, doing activities with other children than sitting on her iPad whilst mum worked.

I’d assume that the cleaner can’t afford this.

These assumptions are based on the small
amount of facts we do know.

Because it's possible she isn't poor.

I brought it into the discussion after I agreed to a pp replying to another pp who told OP that if it was her, she would make a box for the child with crafts and colouring and a snack and the pp I agreed with responded saying something about it maybe making the cleaner feel like a charity case.

It was no different to any of the other gazillion assumptions many pp's have made.