To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

When working parents can't do their job efficiently with kids around, yes they get childcare.
You cannot work with a baby or a young child.

Now a parent working from home with a 10 year old somewhere in the house doing their own things? non issue. When you wouldn't know if there's a child or not, it means it's not a problem.

If you dont' want the cleaner to bring her child, your house, your right. I can't see what the issue is personally. Are you resenting that you can't?

You made a good point in an earlier post about some people not seeing the human but a piece of machinery, useful but that’s all.

Christ on a bike. There's nothing like woman-woman hate here. 🤦‍♀️
All the moaning that the cleaner should hire childcare "like the rest of us." ffs.
OP has every right to decide the boundaries, but Christ on a bike if she's willing to lose her cleaner over this or put her in a difficult financial position what does that say? I'm guessing the cleaner can't afford childcare. But, hey, it's not OP's problem is it? 🙄

Out of curiosity.... re the line in your update "what is she touches something fragile". What type of items are we talking about here- what is so fragile that its an issue if a 10 year old touches it. I do wonder if you are looking for an issue where one doesn't exist. I hope you start to feel more comfortable having the very good cleaners child sitting on your sofa.

My cleaner always asks me if it's ok. But I've never had reason to see it as a problem. The child sits there quietly and is well behaved.

Interesting that the point about tradesmen bringing their children to work is being used. I had builders last summer who brought two boys, aged 7 and a teen, along with them most days. It never occurred to me that it was any of my business as long as the job was getting done. They had heavy machinery around but, again, none of my business and it was the father's responsibility to supervise.

I think it's an educational way to spend the summer tbf, as long as they're getting breaks to do other things

I wouldn't see it as an issue if she isn't causing a disturbance, more mess or distracting her mum. You wouldn't be in trouble as her mum brought her to your property. But as stated child care is awfully priced so by time she's taken her kid to cm 2h that's 20-30quid a day lost. If it was my kids I wouldn't take them but that because of age and additional needs they can't survive longer then 4m without me in a Room they follow me everywhere. If mums/cleaner is still upto standard id let it slide xx

I agree. However ‘kindly’ OP speaks to her it’ll be clear that she sees it as a problem. OP, you need to think about the response that you’ll accept before you speak to her. Are you saying that she can’t bring the child? It’s obvious that she doesn’t have any other arrangement.

I’m going by all the angry and aggressive comments, this person has made.And many other posters have said this person’s comments are over the top and aggressive.
My point was anyone can post on here and this person, who’s so angry towards women could well be a man, it’s not that difficult to work out, as it’s anonymous forum.Or do you think it’s acceptable to be so verbally aggressive towards other women, venting over a thread?

A well behaved 10 year old on your sofa is a small price to pay for an excellent cleaner. I’d live with it.

I WFH. My children go to childcare. The difference though is that they are my children and it is my house.

If someone wants to WFH with a 10 year old with their own job in their own house, that is absolutely their choice assuming their work is also ok with it.

A cleaner turning up with their child without even asking is a different situation. If I'm WFH with my own child in childcare, I'd expect the same from a cleaner or if an emergency came up, to at least be asked first.

pp is clearly annoyed with some of the nonsense ''be kind'' comments, especially expecting OP to make snacks for the uninvited child when she is trying to work herself.

I don't think that automatically makes her a man, no.

I think this is difficult.

On the one hand, a trustworthy and thorough cleaner is worth their weight in gold. And the child is behaving fine.

On the other hand, she didn’t ask whether bringing the child was ok - this is not really on.

Since this is limited time during summer and the cleaner is otherwise excellent, I would let it go for now. But I would be on the lookout in case anything declines - like I say, the biggest issue here is that she didn’t ask - that’s not really ok, but if it’s the only problem then I’d let it go.

I prefer a bit of dirt around the house than to deal with any of the issues with cleaners that I see on here!

My builder has brought a well behaved 5 year old, having asked permission. Good as gold. However I was angry once to come home and find a toddler brought by an electrician who was rewiring the house - dangerous.

I wouldn’t mind this at all as the child seems very well behaved and no bother.

what I would have a problem with is not being asked if this was ok. That was completely out of order for her to just do that without checking if you agree. Also what if you were not at home and this child was injured or damaged something? That would really irritate me that she didn’t ask first

I'm all about flexible working.

When it is requested and agreed. You can't just rock up with your child and expect it to be accommodated.

I think the fact shes sitting quietly on her iPad and has clearly been instructed to stay there is good. I think if she was younger and running around that would be different. I suspect her mum knows that she shouldn't be there, but she has to work. I think whilst on the iPad she's not poking around l, I wouldn't have an issue with this

Excellent! I used to go to work with both Mam and Dad at different times well over 50 years ago during the school holidays. My Dad worked in a stables at the time and I used to help feeding the horses and cleaning the stables out. My Mam cleaned for a lovely old lady. Mam used to ‘let me’ dust the baby grand piano that belonged to the lady because I could crawl underneath it to clean the hard to reach bits😂. Then Mam would make morning coffee for us all and we would sit in the dining kitchen together chatting. It was the first time I had ever seen a jar of instant coffee. I thought it was very sophisticated. Sometimes I would get sixpence from the lady that Mam cleaned for. She would always tell me to save it. Happy simple times.

😂😂😂

This would annoy me too. It's unprofessional and not an agreed part of the service. If she didn't even ask whether it was okay then she's rude.

I once had a cleaner who brought their son with them who sat quietly in the living room. €500 disappeared which was our holiday spending money.

I’m paying for a service

and you are getting the same service. It’s just that there is what sounds like a well behaved child in your living room.

What if you have a word with your cleaner and she tells you that she can no longer offer you her services as someone baby sitting her 10 year old makes coming to clean your house too expensive

Who took it? The cleaner or the child? How old was the child?

If she’d asked you first, OP, what would you have said / felt?

There is no "of course it feels strange"

having another person in the same building as you, its not strange and it happens every day

I’m surprised she didn’t ask your permission first, that is what would annoy me. Bringing anyone into your home, regardless of age, without getting your permission first. Had she asked your permission first then I definitely don’t see a problem with the well behaved child being present.