To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

If she left her daughter unsupervised that's her fault not the Ops.

You’re splitting hairs. Whilst doing her job, the cleaner is working for the OP.

If she's really great and honest I would suck this up for the holidays.

You said in your OP that you were torn. Well, clearly that’s untrue.
I can’t imagine being so socially awkward that the presence of a well-behaved child in a different room bothers me so.

@DeLaRuiz that's quite an entitled view. I would mention it in a nice and respect manner. OP has every right to ask it is her house. The cleaner should of asked and checked with OP! She could be struggling and we don't know what's going on in her life.... still doesn't excuse not asking first does it? I wouldn't sack her but just check in type of conversation... "is everything ok I've noticed you've been bring DD along" that isn't unkind at all. OP doesn't have to walk on egg shells in her own home.

Agree with you. No to the bus driver if the child were sitting up in the cab. If the child is no the bus - I wouldn't mind at all. In fact, I've known bus drivers to do just this in the holidays. Ditto hairdressers.

I think the issue here is low compassion. Very very, extremely, low compassion, maybe perhaps driven by not knowing many people in these kinds of roles personally?

In any case, take care.

Your cleaner was a CF for not asking you whether this would be okay. You don't just turn up to work with a kid in tow without asking your employer.
However, I think you'd be a bit of a prick to say she can't come for the rest of the hols. I'd say that she can come, despite the initial ill manners of not running it by you, but say the kid needs to use headphones for her iPad and that you need to be asked in advance for future holidays.

She won’t 🙁

Oh for goodness sake. Pathetic.

I'd say that the cleaner made it awkward by just showing up with her child and not having a discussion with OP about it.

No she's not she is providing a service that the Op is paying for that, s very different to being the Ops employee.

Not the point of the post.

YABU, if she’s a good cleaner and you’re otherwise happy, I’d definitely let this go! Fair enough if you were being disturbed by a younger child, but a calm older child sitting quietly and playing on an iPad I wouldn’t have an issue with. The only part you have a slight point with is the noise from the iPad, if it’s distracting you it would be reasonable to ask her to wear headphones if she has some.

How is it pathetic?
The cleaner is self employed she's not employed by the Op.

Maybe OP should just request the cleaner leaves her daughter on the pavement outside, or the doorstep, or the corridor, anywhere but out of sight!

You ARE getting the service that you are paying for.

Child is sitting on the sofa.

My view is YABU. From your account, you are barely aware that the cleaners child is there.

Ive had various trades bring their children. Always well behaved and polite children.

The wee girl will remember doing this. Will remember accommodating her mums need to earn. Might respect her clothes/treats more. She will likely look up to you - someone who can afford regular paid help at home. Id make an effort. Make it memorable. Make her feel welcome. They is obviously no other support around. Dont be cold/hostile. Its a non-issue. She might well enjoy a 5 minute chat with you. You might enjoy it.

Good luck.

In the 6 weeks holiday I would be fine with it because I know what it's like to work for nothing I had two children in childcare and it was costing me almost twice as much per hour as I was earning to put the kids in childcare I was working in minus figures then I was cleaning I took my youngest with me on some jobs while the eldest went to his friends he was good and helped me clean no-one had an issue

I think it was presumptuous of her to assume you’d be OK with it, presumably she has other clients and the child goes to their houses too?

If the child is well behaved I wouldn’t worry too much but I think you need to lay down some ground rules. I would expect the child to stay in one place and not follow her mum around the house, for example.

It’s quite an invasion of privacy, the more I think about it the less happy I would be, but then I don’t have a cleaner for that reason.

Yabu.

Or childcare which the vast majority of working parents have to do and even the cleaner herself did since this is the first time she has done this in the year she has cleaned OP's house.

Please OP, if she's a good cleaner and her child isn't causing any harm or distraction, let her continue. Life is really hard at the moment for alot of people trying to eek out a living. Xx

Also if you say anything she'll assume she has to read between the lines that her child cannot come if she wants to keep her job. Because if she had any alternative that would be already happening. Xx

Hmmm. I very much doubt she has an alternative lined up or she would be using it already. She should have asked you first, but your little talk will just make things very awkward all round. What will you do if she says she has no alternative so if she can’t bring her child she will have to leave? Even if you give in and they both continue to come, your relationship will be irreparably damaged.

I could have told my plumber I didn't want his child around. Then the job wouldn't have got done. I am not sure that would have been a great benefit to me.

When the child is behaving , what's the problem?

Absolutely!

Down with flexible working for parents. They chose to have the little critters, no one told them to! There are toilets that need to be cleaned, after all. Bah bah bah, humbug, humbug, humbug.