To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

If she's a good cleaner and the kid behaves, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. She should have asked you though.

Electricians charge £90 call out fee. They can afford childcare.

if the cleaner is in the same situation as the woman in The Maid the social services should be involved. The story is set in the US where there is little social help.

People need to decide on their narrative either she's a Penniless cleaner who can't afford childcare or she has tons of clients and csn pick and choose who she cleans for and therefor put her child in appropriate childcare.

How do you know the cleaner can't?

A poster isn't automatically a man just because they disagree with you.

The posters telling you to buy special drinks and snacks for child are a bit OTT, OP @Informercera

My cleaner is paid £18 per hour direct, which is well above national living wage and a high hourly rate for unskilled work. If she had an emergency situation with childcare I would probably accommodate as a one off, but otherwise I would expect her to have it covered. I certainly wouldn’t be ok with her bringing her child along without asking. There’s always a lot of vitriol and batshittery directed at OPs who have the temerity to have a cleaner on here, but YANBU.

She may have no choice if childcare costs more than she is being paid as a cleaner?!?

Also she could find another client who allows her to have her child there!

It's not ideal. I had to entertain a three year old once. Lively so a complete waste of time but I think I would tolerate a 10 year old sitting quietly on a sofa.,

Shouldn’t take her long to get another position, good cleaners hard to find. As OP says she goes above and beyond with her duties.

😂

You will be looking for a new cleaner!

@Informercera How does a well behaved child, sitting on the sofa whilst you are in a completely different room change the dynamic?

I think you are BVU. If the cleaner has been with you for a year and they didn’t bring their child during half terms, Christmas etc something may have gone wrong. Not your problem, but not something to get worked up over when it’s what, 2-4 hours a week maximum?

This isn't about social help it's about childcare costs..you don't know that the cleaner doesn't have an excess of 400 plus to pay on her rent from what UC will pay.....in the series/book she's working she actually has rent to pay subsidised by social help. the childcare issue is a huge theme through the book and series.

It's the idea that people often don't think people who work for them (particularly in what are considered low skill roles) are human.

But, frankly, I wouldn't want a woman cleaning my home for four hours and fretting the entire way through about where her child is, or whether they are ok at home alone or some other alternative she is forced into that she clearly didn't want in the first place. Even if it were because I was being very selfish, I prefer people working for me to be happy! They tend to do a better job!

So annoying isn’t it, any excuse to have a go at ‘men’ however tenuous a link.

Just like anyone providing a service I wouldn't expect a hairdresser busdriver ,teacher ti bring their child to work either..

I would assume her other clients don't have an issue with her bringing her well behaved child to work so she has assumed you don't either...because really it's a non issue.

This. The kindest thing to do is to say nothing OP. The child is doing no harm and the cleaner is presumably working to the same standard as normal, so I'd say nothing

You say you are going to "gently talk to her". If she is a good cleaner ( and I assume she is as you have been happy with her hitherto) then don't be surprised if she leaves you - she won't be short of work. Good cleaners are like gold dust.

I have had the same cleaner for 10 years. Her daughter is now 23, though when she was younger she often came with her mum. Her mum asked first, I said yes. The daughter would get a duster and follow her Mum round the house, She was very good too. Should she have been doing it ? Probably not. Did I mind ? No. I was actually quite impressed with what she was doing ! When she was a bit older ( 16 +) she"d come with her Mum and actually clean. I have watched her grow up. She is lovely with a tremendous work ethic. She put herself through University partly with the money she earnt through cleaning. She now earns a very good wage in a graduate job though when she comes back to see her Mum will still go out cleaning with her.

This isn't exactly like the situation you have, though it's not far from it. So, by all means, say something to your cleaner, but don't be surprised if your Cleaner drops you as a client.

The cleaner work s for themselves not the Op.

She'd probably like her mum being on the dole even less.

I don't have kids either, OP, and I don't think I'd get worked up about a well-behaved 10 year old amusing herself, especially as it's only going to be a very temporary arrangement until she returns to school, surely?

If she needs the cash she’ll find a way to make stuff work (maybe even leave the little girl unsupervised at home), but next time you need her to go the extra mile for you I can’t see her gladly helping you out.

The quality of her work may well drop and the extra little details she’s been noticing will go unmentioned. This isn’t because she’s rubbish or unprofessional but because it’s been proven that you get that extra 10% raised discretional effort out of people when you treat them well.

Even if she has tonnes of options to choose from, there's only so many hours in the day she can work. Childcare will always take up a huge chunk of her wages no matter how many hours she does/how many clients she has because each hour would require an hour of childcare to be paid for.

You're making it awkward.

"I’m going to speak to her, gently"

You are a ridiculous person..

🙄