To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

At 10 she is too young to be left on her own at home. Your cleaner may have very little choice.

I really think it's a non issue. She sounds very well behaved.

Come September I'm sure it will all go back to normal.

You could end up loosing your cleaner

I think this would be very unreasonable. You’re going to tell a mum with no affordable childcare options that it’s been ‘awkward’. What do you think her response is going to be?

I agree. İt does very much come across that the OP likes the idea of having professional staff rather than a real person from the real world, doing a really good paid job for them.

I'd encourage the OP and anyone else who thinks this is an issue to read the true story book Maid, by Stephanie Land.

An older child like this who sits quietly and doesn't distract the cleaner from working would not bother me in the slightest, it's just for a few weeks.

Exactly my point.

She's just a body doing a service. Might as well be a robot. That's how people think of cleaners etc. I personally don't. Op and perhaps you, do.

If the other option is that you have no cleaner for the duration of the summer holidays, how would you feel about it? Because if her whole wage from you goes on childcare for her daughter she may as well not work. I’m assuming if she had family who could help, her daughter would already be with them rather than in your house. Maybe suggest she uses headphones and agree on where she sits ? If you say you don’t want her there you may find you lose your cleaner.

The only thing that would bother me is that she didn't run it past me more so just to be polite. But other than that she's not causing a distraction and it's only for a few weeks of the holidays.

I remember going with my mum to clean the office when I was a child because she was my only care. If they said no, she wouldn't have been able to do the job and they would have to find someone else and we would be out of pocket. It was just best to let it slide for everyone.

Given that plumbers and electricians earn massively more than cleaner, I'm not sure it's the same thing.

OP, I would be absolutely ok with this. You are helping someone with limited options put food on the table for her family.

I'm always appalled on these threads at the number of people who treat cleaners like indentured servants- shame on them, really.
Same ones who post because it's hard juggling family and a job, but don't stop to think how hard it really is when you can't throw money at a problem

She does have a choice the summer holidays are not a surprise they happen at the same time every year ,maybe if the cleaner is as poor as everyone is trying to imply she should look at booking her child into some HAF activities.

Same! Recommended OP watch Maid, the Netflix series, didn't realise it was a book. Thank you

How Diego

That's the assumption but no one actually knows for sure because the cleaner didn't bother to have a conversation with OP and just showed up with her child.

HAF is usually about 16 days of the summer holidays and four hours a day at that. Some providers are more generous and cover the longer days, but the general day paid for by LA is four hours for 16 days out of about 30 weekdays.

I find it absolutely shocking that you have a problem with a well behaved child sitting on your sofa for a couple of hours. I hope when you have a 'gentle' word with your cleaner that she sacks you off because frankly you sounds really, really uptight. I can't even imagine trying to make someone's life even more difficult. Shame on you.

Well apparently she hasent got two pennies two rub together according ti some posters so she not going to willingly lose clients is she?

Good god! This is really nasty. Poor woman has to work around her children and i applaud her for that. Some empathy from you would go a long way! Have you not got children and found out how expensive childcare is?

She can look for another job. It will be easy because, as most people write here, it’s hard to find a good cleaner - obviously she’s not a good cleaner She won’t be asking the op for a reference as she didn’t ask before bringing her kid along.

The book is equally as good but in a totally different way. İt's less dazzling than the series but so raw and real and honest. I keep meaning to read her second one where she's getting through college as a single mum.

I just had a thought that perhaps all cleaners should incorporate the cost of childcare into their services, by the hour. There'd soon be a shortage of cheap services, so people like the OP would have no choice.

How disgusting, not Diego- weird autocorrect.

and she's cleaned OP's house for a year. What happened during the previous school holidays? Why is it suddenly an issue now?

If family childcare fell through for the summer holidays, it was up to her to say something to OP about it.

Oh goodness you’re so angry and aggressive!
Over this thread! get a grip.
That’s the thing with MN anyone can post, are you actually a woman, or just a very angry man.

I assumed ‘Diego’ was some kind of street-talk for someone behaving like a crazy person!

The issue is she should ask. So that's the part that needs raising. I'm a single parent so I perhaps have more understanding of covering childcare. It's no excuse though not to ask you as its your house your rules OP.

In no other job can you just rock up to work with your child. I would ask her if everything is OK? How long has she been your cleaner for?

You are 'paying for a service' AND you are still getting it

The child sits on the sofa and doesnt move.
The cleaner is nice amd you have no issues with her

I think you just crack on working from home or face losing a good trustworthy cleaner