To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

It seems ridiculous to me that you would object to a quiet, well-behaved child sitting on your sofa for 2 hours a week. Her presence “changes the dynamic”? Good God. But I see you have decided to speak to the cleaner “gently.” 🙄 Just don’t be surprised if she gently informs you that she won’t be working for you any longer.

'My staff' - I presume you earn more than they do then!!

I wouldn't mind since the child is quiet and well behaved but it would annoy me a bit that the cleaner hadn't even asked. And no way would I be getting/serving snacks and drinks. I would be working myself not hosting "guests".

There was a thread last week about a builder and his 12 year old, if you want to find out!

In which case you show the cert not a policy with personal information on.

I think one of the problems here is that the cleaner is not being treated as human.

My family is Caribbean by descent and in those countries, the 'cleaner' is offered any food or drink that the family is eating.

I've seen posts on here with people bemoaning that their cleaners drank some water from the fridge in a 4 hour shift.

The cleaner is a person.

I think the OP has a problem with the fact that the cleaner is a mother and that is in the OP's face. OP just wanted to open the door to let the cleaner in, and then when OP next opens the door, the cleaner leaves and the house is spotless. The cleaner could be a vacuum, a robot, whatever, but not a human.

At the end of the day childcare is expensive and hard to come by in this day and age. If I had someone doing work at my house I.e cleaner, plumber etc and they had to bring their child or honestly wouldn’t bother me. We are all trying to get by and earn money.

Maybe she owns the business and employs other cleaning staff 🤔

In my experience this is normal with cleaners and I personally don’t mind. However she should have asked you rather than assuming it’s ok.

She should have asked if it was ok but I’d have no problem with this, other than feel sorry for the kid as she must spend much of her day going from house to house!

I think you don't understand that the cleaner is providing a service she's not part of the family.

@Informerceraplease don’t do this, it’s only a few more weeks, she’s clearly great at her job and you could cause such problems for her. You could maybe suggest she uses headphones for the iPad. I think that’s fine, but I just couldn’t read and run - I just think you’re making a mistake here. There’s no harm.

I don’t know. You’d need to check your house insurance, your civil liability and that of the cleaner/ company employing the cleaner. Would you be classed as a childminder as you’re looking after an employees child? depending on the definition used by the insurance of a guest - if the cleaner has a contract with you or a company how is bringing a child to work dealt with - I don’t know this answer. You’d need to check up on this.

She’s still reliable, she’s not unreliable!

Do you know the meaning of reliable?

I believe doitorleaveit understands that.

Do people really live with this level of whataboutery?

I'm not sure what that's got to do with anything? They are my staff and I am their employer...

I think you are being really mean.

It’s obvious she doesn’t have childcare so why even bring it up with her.

I wouldn’t blame her if she told you to stick your job.

its possible, I had the carpets cleaned whilst I worked in a separate room where it had no carpet, so the cleaners didn't go in there.

Good cleaners are a highly valued resource where I live. I pay them well, often leave drinks/snacks out and try to be as kind/flexible as possible.
This is my approach with anyone working in the house as it’s normal to just be decent but I do go the extra miles for cleaners as I depend on them. I’d be in the camp getting the little girl snacks/drinks and popping Netflix on for her.

But I have kids so I know the cost of childcare and the inflexibility if it’s required for just a 2 hr clean.

I just want my house cleaned so I don’t have to bother doing it. I’m not looking for anything that isn’t a basic skill. The agency I use have loads of cleaners on their books. If one does turn up one week, I can get another. If that person then doesn’t turn up a second week I ask for them to be replaced. If one turned up with a kid, she’d be asked to leave and I’d ask the agency to send someone else. It’s really not difficult.

Of course she understands that. You, on the other hand, don't appear to understand that there is such a thing as cultural differences and that not everyone is as mean and ungenerous as you are.

Because she should've brought it up with OP in the first place and not just shown up with her child.

Tricky what did she do last summer? If you are her only client that day I can see why childcare is tricky as she will pay more than she makes. For a good cleaner I would let it go its different if she was bringing a baby or toddler round but I would perhaps text and say could she let you know in advance in future if she needs to bring her child? At end of the day its up to you but if you confront her be prepared that she may not come back

But despite my post above- she should have asked you first. I still would definitely accommodate it though even if she didn’t. Sounds like she goes the extra mile for you noticing cleaning issues that you haven’t- time to show her some flexibility in return.