To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

A good, reliable cleaner is beyond rubies, and deserves some benefit of the doubt/flexibility from good clients.

As it seems to be only a summer problem and the child seems well-behaved, and more or less out of your way while you're wfh I'd suck it up and only raise it if it starts causing an actual problem rather than a vague feeling of unease (and only if you're happy to risk having to look for another cleaner).

So would posters be just as happy if a plumber,electrician, builder also brought their child to work🤔

As long as child sat quiet and behaved themselves i would have zero issues.

Same with cleaner in Ops case. The child is watching tv, she us hardly causing a ruckus.
I'm past the school holidays but trying to find and pay for care when you are working is horrendous, so I would cut slack and let it go.

My gardener sometimes brings his son to work. Have to admit, I spend all my time peering through the window agonising how much blood and gore will end up on my grass when the inevitable accident happens where his son stupidly entangles himself in the lawnmower. I don’t know how difficult it is to clean up grass after something like this but it’s something I torture myself with every day.

Not the point of the thread. I know but..,

Yep. It didn’t bother me in the slightest when my plumber did it. The guy who was fixing my floor brought his daughter and she was sat in the van. I told him to bring her in to sit and watch telly. Better that than have to wait 7 weeks til he could turn up and do the job. School holidays are hard for parents, especially if they run their own business, unless the kid is running around trashing the place, what’s the harm with them sitting in your living room?

The cleaner is missing a trick though, I’d have my ten year old getting stuck in and helping me!

Your child is in the workplace THAT is the issue.. And the OP is unahppy with it, that is ANOTHER issue.

If you cannot see the problem, I can't help you. The OP is not happy with it, and many other posters say they would not be either. This thread is batshit! In real life, NO-ONE would be happy with their employee bringing their children to work. FFS! 😂 As has been said, the cleaner didn't even ask! Peak cheekyfuckery!

Nobody’s suggesting it’s up to op to provide snacks, just that it would be a nice thing to do, for the child, who’s well behaved.A bit of human kindness goes a long way.

My father took me to client meetings during summer holidays sometimes. These people were often childless and some of the most talented people I've ever had the privilege to meet. One played piano professionally and whilst my father was doing the structural survey, she played the piano for me and sat me next to her and taught me a bit (she even told me to bring my violin next time to play together!). That ladies kindness has stayed with me as a memory. Another older lady showed me how her two cats like to play fetch. Another had a daughter similar age and told me to play in her room. Another lady made me food and I played with her son (and we regularly met up socially after that!). Having been shown this kindness in my life and having been shown this behaviour has made me a better person. Oh and my career was influenced by this wonderful man who was also a client of my father. These people showed kindness and tolerance to my father, who had to take me some days to work (even if its just for a couple of hours because of mums dr appointment or whatever she'd normally do school hours) they have inspired me to be a better person, my career was thanks to one.
A lot of these people still use my father's company to this day and socialise outside of work 30 years later.

These are all lovely important memories for me. A little kindness stayed and influenced me. I personally follow on this tradition and any children that come through my door get offered TV, craft box, conversation, kindness. And ofcourse the WiFi password if needed. Their questions answered if they have things to say, left to their own devices if they're calm, busy watching tablet. I do expect good behaviour from all guests but I've never had a problem to be honest.

I guess my point of view is a bit different having experienced being that kid, and I'm thankful it was with such lovely people. OP, kindness goes a long way, sometimes can stick with someone for decades as a precious memory. But if you're really uncomfortable you can find someone else I am sure.

Your cleaner has presumably access to all your house, you work from home so can keep an eye on things, but at some point, you need to trust them.

Before we all had ring doorbells, we wouldn't even know if the cleaner brought her child to sit on the sofa.
When the cleaner is as upfront about it, and the child is well behaved, what's the issue?

I have had tradesmen laughingly bringing their "apprentice", clearly their child far too young to be any kind of apprentice. I just offer them a drink and a snack and let them all get on with it.

It's not that unusual, and of course it's not limited to "women" 🙄

Our window cleaner has his dc out with him last week they are about 9-11, they were as good as gold and there was no messing around, I assumed he didn't have childcare.

You might need to think a little bit more - if something’s broken by the ten year old who pays for this? If the ten year old hurts herself who is liable? If the parent can’t work because her child is recovering from injury then what happens? All questions that the cleaner and op need to check up on. Accidents can happen in the most unexpected ways. Adding in - if the op needs to interrupt her work to deal with a child related emergency problem and loses money, time, a contract from this who pays compensation?

Oh, yes, we mustn't forget BE KIND. Especially if you're a laydee. Women must support women after all, no matter how ridiculous any given woman is being, or how daft and cheeky her demands or behaviour. Funnily enough I don't just wilfully support someone because we both happen to have a vagina. 🙄

Of course they do, if they are insured for what they are doing in your property. If they hold PI cover, you can ask to see it and they should have no problem showing it to you. Many public businesses display their policies for all to see.

Our gardener brought his twin girls to ours regularly. I'm never gave it any thought🙄

OP is working. She isn't hosting the cleaners child.

This. The fact that someone is actually asking WHY the child needs to be on the insurance speaks volumes.

I can't BELIEVE someone is actually asking this!

In a like for like situation I would be - ie first it has to be a world where those professions charge and equivalent amount for their services (which they don’t), and they’re a single parent with no other childcare, and the child is equally well behaved, said plumber etc doesn’t expect me to take over and look after the child. So in the world where all that is true, yes.

You’re calling this thread batshit! I mean, your posts……🤔

The alternative here is, make life much harder for someone when what they are doing causes you zero inconvenience. You can choose that if you wish. It isn’t about any kind of sisterhood it’s about not being a twat.

I said earlier her mum would obviously be responsible it is just common sense.

in fairness, I am not sure I had much snack to offer before I had kids.

Now I have cupboards full, but that goes with being a mum, and kids, kids friends, random playdates and random little or young people being invited at any time of the day 😂

No company has to show you their policy. You can show proof of insurance but the policy absolutely not.

I have said this multiple times on this thread, but apparently I am just a mean and spiteful old biffer who is just sooooo angerreeeee! 😠

Nope, just stating facts. And being real. And not being a pushover. Seems a few posters on here don't like women being assertive and strong.

Shame really.

Do we also need to do this when having play dates?

Exactly.

It's kind to to run around preparing snacks for someone's uninvited child whilst you are supposed to be working? Please.

You know what is kind? Asking before you just bring your child along when you are working.

I would offer snacks if I had them - but I don’t tend to when my own children aren’t here.

I offered cans of drink as I had them.