To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

You are so right, she would be much better off doing something educational like learning to sail or even just running around on a nice Mediterranean beach but maybe her mother's cleaning wages don't stretch to that.

Honestly if you have a good, reliable cleaner and the child isn’t disruptive I’d let this go. They’re like gold dust, so it would be worth it to me as a perk to keep her.

Unfortunately, compassion seems to be in short supply from a few posters.

If she's cleaning for you she should have insurance. And I'd be pretty sure that she wouldn't be covered if her child broke something or had an accident in your home. So that's a good angle to approach it from.

We had a lovely cleaner at work who came in when her kids were at school but then she had another baby and ended up bringing them with her each time. Which was OK when baby was tiny and just slept in their car seat but then when they were toddling it was a nightmare. When she fell pregnant again, we had visions of 2 kids crashing around alongside her so had to say that we'd found maternity cover for her and would be keeping them on.

A lot of peoples wages don't stretch to all that. They don't take their children to work though. 🙄

What a manic response. Sheesh.

This ☝️

Our builder did actually bring his 9 year old kid to work over the Easter holidays and told him to stay in the van on his iPad. We told him to bring him in the house and made him comfy in the sitting room.

My mum would take me to school with her when I was ill in the 80s/90s and I’d lie in a corner of her classroom on a duvet for the day! Same but different- my mum also had no childcare alternative and me being there made no difference to her teaching that day. I would be quiet and sleep /read… It does happen in other occupations than cleaning!

I would let your cleaner continue as she is. I hear what you’re saying but it is a very difficult circumstance for your cleaner and not affecting you other than a feeling of being uncomfortable

@MarySueSaidBoo · Today 13:12

If she's cleaning for you she should have insurance. And I'd be pretty sure that she wouldn't be covered if her child broke something or had an accident in your home. So that's a good angle to approach it from.

This. ^ I would ask to see the cleaner's insurance @Informercera See if she has her daughter covered on it. She won't have!

Have you thought about cleaning your house yourself? Then you could have the whole place to yourself 24/7. Problem solved.

what a lot of anger. Do you actually behave like this in real life, or are you just using the forum to express yourself the way you wish you did in real life?

Oh stop it! Of course if you work in a factory, a hospital or a shop then that isn't going to get possible. But to sit quietly on a sofa while your parent cleans? I don't see the issue.

Just because you are exceptionally intolerant and stress yourself about total non problems and imagine telling people to 'fuck off' about those non problems, it doesn't mean that everyone else is the same. Fortunately.

If you think this is 'peak cheekyfuckery, and very intrusive and entitled', you need to get out more, or even just reading a small selection of posts on AIBU or the Relationships forum.

Get a grip. She’s a well behaved 10 year old not a 3 year old. My daughter comes to work with me also and helps to earn some money. She’s 8.

70 years ago my mother took me to her cleaning jobs. I was made to sit and draw, read a book, or play with my Sindy. So, no, it is not unreasonable to bring your child to a cleaning job. If she asked first, then it is not at all bad if the child is well behaved. There is such a things as being kind and if she goes the extra mile to help you, then she is worth hanging onto.

I had a cleaner that brought her daughter along while I was working from home. If she wasn't allowed to then she wouldn't be able to clean for me, simple as that.
It's not her fault there are no childcare options and surely if the child is well behaved then there's no issues.

No company has to show you their insurance policy 🥴😂

This type of situation is exactly where « be kind » should apply! Just have a bit of compassion, it doesn’t change anything for you and it helps her out.

As a side note, am I the only one with fond childhood memories of playing my my parent’s gardener and housekeeper’s children during the summer? Clearly this is not a new thing.

What is she even going to break sitting quietly on the sofa?!

She didn't ask first which I think is part of the problem.

On a cleaning wage? As self employed we’re probably earning more than you.

That would be more unusual as it’s not a regular thing and cleaner knows there’s a safe space where child can just go on iPad. My cleaner brings her son sometimes, she asked first. I’ve no issue. He watches tv or his phone. I’m working, cleaner works.

My kids grew up with my cleaners older son coming with mum in the holidays - it was lovely as he became like a big brother for them and when he was older taught them to ride a bike and took them to the adventure playground round the corner. So YABU. Summer holiday childcare is a nightmare and if the child is well behaved and out of your space I think that should be a satisfactory arrangement.

Why would a 10 year old need to be "on insurance " genuine question I can't think of a reason.