WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Hi,
This happened earlier today and I've been wondering about whether I was in the wrong or not.

I was walking earlier with my dog (she's s whippet and very lazy, usually either trots along beside me or sniffs things, not boisterous or anything). We were walking in a big local green space where there's always plenty of off lead dogs.

I was on a quiet, wide path in a wooded area. I came near some little girls who were with their mum. When I was about 4-5 metres away I could see one of the girls became very nervous and her mum advised her to stand back from the path and stay calm. My dog wasn't approaching her but was going to walk near her to get by so I called her back (she came immediately, we've trained recall extensively) and put her on the lead. As I was walking past I put as much space between us as possible but said to the little girl "don't worry, she's friendly " just to reassure her. Thd mum snapped at me "just because she's friendly, doesn't mean my daughter wants to say hello to her".

Tbh I was a bit pissed off, although I didn't say anything. If my dog had been greeting someone who didn't want to interact then that would have been a fair thing to say, but she was being really good.Then again, the girl was obviously scared and maybe has had bad experiences in he past?

You behaved correctly but the mum was rude.

You’re right, dogs aren’t children. But that doesn’t make them pointless. They provide companionship, support, and structure for millions of people, especially those who are childfree, elderly, suffering from PTSD, autistic, etc The list goes on.

Society isn’t just about raising kids; it’s about coexisting respectfully. Good dog owners manage their pets like good parents supervise their kids. Public space isn’t only for one type of person or family.

Dogs aren’t a right, but neither are kids in every context. It’s about mutual respect, not hierarchy.

@Allelbowsandtoes you have nothing to feel bad about and did the right thing. I also have a whippet and have also spent a lot of time training a good recall and he's also very uninterested in other people even when they're interested in him. I also always put him back on the lead as soon as I see anyone in the distance because I realise some people are scared of dogs. If they do ask any questions I usually just say he's very gentle.

I think people are taking out their dog frustrations on you without having read your post at all. There are a lot of irresponsible dog owners around who give the good ones a bad name.

You were being nice but she has a point. I am also super cautious with dogs as we have had tiny mutts nearly attack my baby and toddler on several occasions and the owners play it off as nothing " oh just loves seeing kids". No if that dog comes anywhere near my kids it won't be breathing for much longer! Inhave had to get a small 4.5cm flip knife as I am so scared of these dogs hurting me and more importantly my small children. We came face to face with a brown XL bully and it was a narrow lane. I had that knife on my pocket clutching it so tight as the dog had already arched back into its hind legs and looked anxious and glittery. I was ready for the attack if it came. I can not take my children anywhere without thwir being 20million dogs! Evenn places that say NO DOGS. A national Try at says no dogs and is aolurrounded by farm land sheep and horses and dear and their are those taking their dogs.! Makes no sense. There are no safe spaces anymore.

That child is very valid for having that reaction, and mother to, to want to be aa far away as possible you don't know whats happens to her and the mother feels the anxiety to.

I would read the room, and keep the distance and walk by super quickly with dogs under a tight leash.

also.... UK need to install dog parks that are gated and fenced up.

We need more of them, yes. My local park has a dog area that is vey popular. You don't have to book it. My mum lets her ex-racer greyhound have some off lead zoomies in there. Is lovely to watch.

However, on MN, you will have people take their kids in there and set up a picnic... and then complain about the dogs there.

But that’s the point - it IS about hierarchy. The child in this and every single other possible situation is more important than the dog. So the dog should always be the thing that is moved out the way/ restrained/put away etc. There should never be a situation where a dog is able to make a child feel uncomfortable. The OP should have leashed the dog much sooner and apologised for encroaching on the family rather than spouting the “he’s friendly” nonsense which assumes that it doesn’t matter if the dog approaches because he isn’t aggressive when there are myriad other reasons why this might not be wanted. The parent is likely exhausted by the constant assumption by dog owners that perceived friendliness means it is okay and she was shorter than she usually is.

If a parent knows their child is scared of dogs, then they are doing their kid a disservice by forcing them to walk by passing dogs. Give the dog a wide berth. Don't expect dog owners to read your mind.

Dog owners need to be operating from the position that someone is going to be uncomfortable/scared/allergic to their animal NOT assuming that it is fine

It’s not about one always being more important than the other, it’s about respect in shared spaces. Public areas aren’t child-only zones. Dogs are allowed too, as long as they’re controlled.

Yes, “he’s friendly” isn’t a free pass. But neither is “I have a child” a reason to expect every dog to disappear on sight. Parents don’t get to dictate who belongs in public. If a dog is under control, that’s reasonable. The issue is behaviour, not some blanket hierarchy.

You're oversimplifying and generalising in the hope that if you keep saying it, your opinion will matter the most. Its narrow minded.

Sorry, but I am not going to walk into the road when passing someone with my dog.

If someone is that scared of dogs that they can't even pass one that is minding its own business in the street, then they need help with that. It is not healthy to be that scared of something that has no interest in you

I think the problem is so many people say "don't worry, she's friendly" when they have no recall and it's an excuse for that. So the mum is probably fed up with those situations. But I say SIBU because you clearly were controlling the dog and not forcing the girl into interacting with her.

No, because dog owners have as much right to use public spaces (sensibly) as anyone else.

Dogs will never be banned completely and those with fears do need to take responsibility for them as much as dog owners need to take responsibility for their dogs.

A dog on a lead having a sniff or simply walking shouldn’t be seen as a threat just because it is a dog.

This is my most hated dog owner phrase. My children and I have had multiple bad experiences with dogs and I am so sick of hearing this even after one of them have been knocked to the ground.

I'd have replied, Well she didn't try to, so fuck off.

But then I don't really like people that much.

If you run into them again, I'd not bother calling her back. If they can't be civil, you don't have to be considerate. Fuck them, let them be scared, it's not your problem.

I get that about hate phrases. My most hated parent phrase is ‘they’re just having fun, let them be kids’. Myself and family have had multiple bad experiences with other peoples kids, and it makes me want to puke when a parent says this even after their kid chucked straw (which was covered in horse shit) over my 74 year old mother.

Just here to suggest "don't worry she won't hurt you" instead for next time. "She's friendly" could be seen as an invite to pet the dog.

It's not irrational to be scared of a domesticated wolf running around you, even if someone you don't know or have any reason to trust says its friendly.

Don't worry she's friendly.

If a dog is going to run up to a member of the public in any public place it shouldn’t be there, obviously! It’s your dog. It’s not theirs. They have a right to walk in whatever public park they like and be totally unaffected by YOUR decision to get a dog!

it’s unbelievable the entitlement of dog walkers. My running club runs in a public park and the amount of people that think it’s acceptable for their dogs to run around us is staggering. Piss off with your dog or it will get a swift kick to the ribs.

You pay tax to be able to enjoy the park. Your dog does not. It doesn’t get enjoy the park in the same way that people do.

But children are people, not dogs and as such are members of society. Young children are not expected to know right from wrong, and won’t hospitalise you or kill you with their bite. Wayward children won’t injure you. Wayward dogs may well injure you.

I think you took good control of the situation in calling your dog to heel and putting her back on a lead but probably didn’t need to tell her that the dog is friendly. The mum did also over react though and is probably not helping her child by compounding her fear with her reactions.
im a Vet Nurse and love animals but I still dislike it when people allow their dogs to run up to my children without a care in the world. My son is not a fan of dogs, finds them jumpy and my daughter had a bad experience just this week where someone allowed their out of control dog to get into the play park we were in and pick up her new teddy and carry it around in its mouth. The owner couldn’t get the dog under control and I had to follow it around to get the toy back, it was farcical.
So it bothers me that lots of people don’t train their dogs properly and I whole heartedly believe that no dog should be allowed off lead until they are able to be called to heel immediately (as you did). I wouldn’t allow my child to go up to a person and jump on them or lick them so why should anyone have to accept the same from a dog (unless they want to).
So in short you did the right thing putting your dog back on the lead but the comment was probably not required.

But don’t you agree that there should be places dogs aren’t allowed too? Where those with kids traumatised by useless ‘he’s friendly’ owners can be outdoors and relax? Because there is NOWHERE. Even if there’s a ‘dog free’ beach or park arrogant owners happily ignore the restrictions.

You did the right thing putting the dog on the lead and keeping the distance.

I hate being told the dog is friendly- it feels like my feelings are being dismissed and I am unreasonable for being cautious/ not wanting it near me