Family Holiday - AIBU to think adult partners should be included?

[TheQuickHam]

Every year, the family have a week long get together. My parents pay for the house rental.

It's me, dh, dd (31), ds (24), parents (late 80s), my brother and his wife, and my niece (27). We rent a 5 bed house, which means dd and niece share a room with two singles.

DS gets his own (double) room. He wants to bring his girlfriend who he has been with for 5 years and lives with.

My niece wants to bring her girlfriend who she owns a flat with and has been with for 6 years.

As it stands, there would be room for DS' girlfriend, but not for my niece's girlfriend.

I suggested that we get a bigger house so that partners can join the holiday so that the family tradition can evolve and continue. This would mean renting a bigger place, and all of the adult 'children' are happy to chip in to the cost of a bigger and nicer house.

My parents are point blank refusing because they don't feel 'comfortable' sharing their holiday with partners. Dbro suspects they have an issue with niece having a girlfriend.

AIBU to think adult partners should be 'allowed' on a family holiday?

I don’t think anyone is wrong here. I get why it’s nice to just hang out with the same family group as always and not have to have new people around but I also get that it’s nice to have everyone there and to enjoy everyone’s company. It’s not an old person thing though. Look at the zillions of Mumsnetters who don’t like to mix with people.

We pay for big family holidays for our adult kids and have always included any partners. It’s fun. However, I do like it when the kids all end up at home without partners. They revert to their childhood ways. It’s also great fun.

OP, have your parents mixed with the kids partners before? If not then I understand their point of view.

I don’t think anyone is wrong here. I get why it’s nice to just hang out with the same family group as always and not have to have new people around but I also get that it’s nice to have everyone there and to enjoy everyone’s company. It’s not an old person thing though. Look at the zillions of Mumsnetters who don’t like to mix with people.

We pay for big family holidays for our adult kids and have always included any partners. It’s fun. However, I do like it when the kids all end up at home without partners. They revert to their childhood ways. It’s also great fun.

OP, have your parents mixed with the kids partners before? If not then I understand their point of view.

Could it be they don’t want the partners because they are ‘unmarried’ in spite of being long term partners and therefore not really family to them? They are in their 80’s so maybe just have some outdated/old fashioned values.

The grandchildren are full grown adults. I cannot see why the grandparents aren't allowing them to bring their partners. It smacks of controlling behaviour. It would put me off going altogether.

On what basis could you possibly determine whether homophobia or marriage is the issue? Do you think you have a greater insight into the motivations of two people you've never met and have read three paragraphs about on the internet than their own son?

This. It runs the risk. It seems odd to not be willing to expand it and everyone pays their way….

My dd has been with her boyfriend 4 months and was invited on a family trip away to celebrate her boyfriend’s grandparents birthday.

To be so dismissive of a 5 year relationship is so wrong.

Could it just be they are fond of this particular house?