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Original poster

Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

489 replies

Glittercloud17 · 01/08/2025 20:14

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

OP posts:
gannett · 02/08/2025 10:28

One of the many sad side-effects of racism is that when you experience it a lot, it sometimes becomes your default vision. Often you're never quite sure if you're experiencing it and it's more common to realise that an odd interaction you let slide was in fact racism, so some people over-correct the next time.

The concept of "the race card" is itself deeply racist, as many posters have explained already, so that makes me wonder whether the family in the OP might not have been correct, and I wonder whether the OP is really a reliable narrator of everything that happened.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/08/2025 10:29

I believe the OP was asking ... about whether someone was using a racism accusation as a way of excusing bad behaviour

I know, @GoodPudding, but as we're seeing it's not a concept which is welcome to some and so the narrative's twisted in something they prefer

A shame, really, because all races contain a few people who can be downright unpleasant and I'm never quite sure what the point is in seeking to deny this when accepting that OP just happened to encounter one of them would be so much simpler

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You're really trying to absolve this family from any wrong doing aren't you? It's obvious what they meant.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:31

Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:27

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit. And having a short description for this situation helps. Same goes for the ‘sexist card’ or ‘homophobia card’ (which are terms one can use in my experience) and pulling a ‘sexist card’ for me doesn’t mean it lessens the genuine sexist experiences from elsewhere. Only that it can be used in isolated incidences.

I’m always amazed at how we can’t talk about racism without people becoming so sensitive about the minutiae, like immediate cut offs. Im genuinely confused by this

Show quote history

Of course you can talk about it, but when you start a conversation with someone is "pulling the race card" it's bound to cause offence. And quite honestly if you're genuinely confused about why that would be, then it's a lost cause even trying to have a convention with you 🤷🏻‍♀️

nomas · 02/08/2025 10:31

Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:27

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit. And having a short description for this situation helps. Same goes for the ‘sexist card’ or ‘homophobia card’ (which are terms one can use in my experience) and pulling a ‘sexist card’ for me doesn’t mean it lessens the genuine sexist experiences from elsewhere. Only that it can be used in isolated incidences.

I’m always amazed at how we can’t talk about racism without people becoming so sensitive about the minutiae, like immediate cut offs. Im genuinely confused by this

Show quote history

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit.

Ah, this happens to you all the time, does it?

All becomes clear.

Original poster
Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:31

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/08/2025 07:46

You were very polite to them.
I don't think the phrase "race card" is very nice either, as you're white.
It is racist IMO.

Edited

I’m not British white. I’m Latino origin and have experienced my fair share of racism in the 80s and 90s and have laughed it off since. But ok

OP posts:
Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:32

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:29

You're really trying to absolve this family from any wrong doing aren't you? It's obvious what they meant.

Show quote history

Absolutely not, the family are dicks and good on OP for calling the queue jumping out, I'm just asking why she's assumed it was a race thing, when no one even said anything about that

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:33

gannett · 02/08/2025 10:28

One of the many sad side-effects of racism is that when you experience it a lot, it sometimes becomes your default vision. Often you're never quite sure if you're experiencing it and it's more common to realise that an odd interaction you let slide was in fact racism, so some people over-correct the next time.

The concept of "the race card" is itself deeply racist, as many posters have explained already, so that makes me wonder whether the family in the OP might not have been correct, and I wonder whether the OP is really a reliable narrator of everything that happened.

Many women have faced sexism or misogyny, you only have to look at tiktok comment sections about the England women's team to see how rife it is. That doesn't mean women have the right to accuse any man they have a disagreement with as sexist or misogynistic. That would be using the sexism card.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:33

Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:31

I’m not British white. I’m Latino origin and have experienced my fair share of racism in the 80s and 90s and have laughed it off since. But ok

Show quote history

OK well that explains it. So you laugh off racism.

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:33

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:32

Absolutely not, the family are dicks and good on OP for calling the queue jumping out, I'm just asking why she's assumed it was a race thing, when no one even said anything about that

Show quote history

Because it obviously was.

MarieAndTwinette · 02/08/2025 10:34

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 10:28

No, not only don't you get to bully people into submission, but you don't get to tell them when to post. Arrogant beyond belief.

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Read my comment again. It was aimed at those with brains.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:35

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:33

Because it obviously was.

Show quote history

No one is going to say someone is being racist by not letting them push in a queue. I think there is more to this "story"

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 10:38

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/08/2025 10:29

I believe the OP was asking ... about whether someone was using a racism accusation as a way of excusing bad behaviour

I know, @GoodPudding, but as we're seeing it's not a concept which is welcome to some and so the narrative's twisted in something they prefer

A shame, really, because all races contain a few people who can be downright unpleasant and I'm never quite sure what the point is in seeking to deny this when accepting that OP just happened to encounter one of them would be so much simpler

It's the white saviour syndrome. It's up to POC whether they choose to take offence; that's their right. As it's the OP's right to ask a question, without being made to feel guilty. She has done or said nothing that is racist. Playing a card - of whatever nature - is something which happens. It's because of who the players are, that there's moral outrage. Ridiculous.

nomas · 02/08/2025 10:39

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:35

No one is going to say someone is being racist by not letting them push in a queue. I think there is more to this "story"

Show quote history

Agreed.

Funny how these things always seem to happen to the people who think these things happen all the time.

SonK · 02/08/2025 10:39

The teen should not have pushed in - that's plain rude.

As for the adults, did they realise their daughter pushed in or did they genuinely think that she was in the queue before you hence misunderstanding the situation which then led to their discussion about race?

Although this actually makes the situation worse - why would they not simply ask the daughter if she was in the queue before you got there?

It all sounds weird to be honest but you did well not reacting to any of it.

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:40

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:35

No one is going to say someone is being racist by not letting them push in a queue. I think there is more to this "story"

Show quote history

Well in that vain no one is going to be racist by not allowing someone to stand in front of them in a queue

Original poster
Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:42

nomas · 02/08/2025 10:14

Looks like OP got the response she wanted and ran away.

Hmm 🤔

OP posts:
TempestTost · 02/08/2025 10:42

brunettemic · 02/08/2025 07:41

You’ve jumped to that conclusion, which does actually imply a natural level of bias in your view (no, I’m not saying you’re racist!). I read it as the person saying you’re implying that because they’re a teenager they’ve obviously pushed in.

There is a differernce between a bias and a reasonable guess.

Obviously someone who was the same race as the OP isn't going to accuse her of racism in a scenario like that.

In this scenario, it does seem like it's the most likely explanation for what they were insinuating. It's possible they were saying she looks posh, or she's English, but that seems a lot less likely.

And in the less likely scenario where they weren't being dishonest pisstakers and really thought she was in the wrong - then it's actually an example of their bias - they assumed she was not wanting them in line because she was a racist and white, not because she thought they were butting in..

HelpMeUnpickThis · 02/08/2025 10:44

SMG123 · 02/08/2025 00:31

I think your assuming they were on about ‘race’ you don’t know why conversations they were having beforehand, they could of been speaking about snobs, rich people, stuck up people absolutely anything (I’m not saying you are any of these things) but you can’t assume they said those things because you are white!

This is a great post. They could have been bitching about anything. To jump to thinking it is about race is assumptive on your part.

@Glittercloud17 sorry this happened.

They just sound like dickheads. Dickheads come in all colours unfortunately.

Hope you are ok. I am embarrassed for them as a black woman.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:45

SonK · 02/08/2025 10:39

The teen should not have pushed in - that's plain rude.

As for the adults, did they realise their daughter pushed in or did they genuinely think that she was in the queue before you hence misunderstanding the situation which then led to their discussion about race?

Although this actually makes the situation worse - why would they not simply ask the daughter if she was in the queue before you got there?

It all sounds weird to be honest but you did well not reacting to any of it.

I don't even believe this BS story. Do you honestly think a minority race is going to kick off that someone didn't let the whole family all push ahead in the queue? Have you ever seen or heard of such an absurd scenario ever? This is just a goady thread and has riled up a bunch of people who would love to believe this shit happens in real life. Slow clap for you all 👏 👏 👏

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 10:45

Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:42

Hmm 🤔

Show quote history

You're an inconvenience. I think every time I'm told I have white privilege, I'm going to call it racist. After all, it's a label used, most often.

Pinepeak2434 · 02/08/2025 10:46

GoodPudding · 02/08/2025 06:53

There are white people who are unpleasant and try to gain an advantage any way they can by lying, gaslighting and manipulating.

Because we are all human and have similar traits, black and people of colour are no different. They can lie, gaslight and manipulate too, and aren’t above using false accusations of racism as a means to an end, especially when there are some on the Left who enable this by accusing anyone who does try and call such behaviour out as being “racist” themselves.

For years, an accusation of racism was one of the worst things you could be accused of… one step up from being accused of being a pedophile. Unfortunately, some people, mostly those on the Left, realised this and attempted to apply the term much more widely, in an attempt to browbeat people into accepting their leftist agenda. Now the term “racist” is becoming devalued as it more and more becomes a general term of abuse that’s used to shut down legitimate debate. It’s losing its real meaning sadly.

Totally agree.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:47

TempestTost · 02/08/2025 10:42

There is a differernce between a bias and a reasonable guess.

Obviously someone who was the same race as the OP isn't going to accuse her of racism in a scenario like that.

In this scenario, it does seem like it's the most likely explanation for what they were insinuating. It's possible they were saying she looks posh, or she's English, but that seems a lot less likely.

And in the less likely scenario where they weren't being dishonest pisstakers and really thought she was in the wrong - then it's actually an example of their bias - they assumed she was not wanting them in line because she was a racist and white, not because she thought they were butting in..

Show quote history

Wow, that's quite amazing how you did that! 😆

CurlewKate · 02/08/2025 10:47

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/08/2025 10:49

Funny how these things always seem to happen to the people who think these things happen all the time

Does that also apply to people of colour whose perceptions of racism are automatically accepted by some because "it happens to them all the time", @nomas, or are they exempt from the expectation that because someone's behaved badly it's no reason to damn an entire group?