Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

[Glittercloud17]

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

Please tell me that you don't actually think the op needs to "reflect on" telling someone not to queue jump just because that person happened to be black/Asian/mixed race?

This exactly. However I’d accommodate a black family being together for passport control/immigration.

Looks like OP got the response she wanted and ran away.

It is a shame that some people have experienced so much everyday racism that they see that racism everywhere. You did
nothing wrong. In fact you come across as aware and very open. Don’t let this incident change you.

The fault of all this lies entirely with the teen who pushed in. The rest of the family assume that you were telling her to get behind you - they have obviously experienced this before unfortunately. No excuse for pushing you, though.

if you were a different kind of person this could have escalated into something darker. You are a great role model for your daughter.

But the pushers in USED their race! That is the whole point of the thread.

As much as I dislike the term race card, OP I think it is vanishingly unlikely that you were being racist in this scenario. I’m as sure as I can be, without having been there! I am also as sure as I can be that they were a group of rude idiots.

People have often used the “playing the sexism card” as evidenced on this thread: I have no problem with that when used appropriately.

And why shouldn’t there be a word for this?… What kind of dystopian society are you wanting to create where a phenomenon can’t even be assigned a word or phrase?

I’ve heard some crazy stuff in my time, but preventing ANY word or phrase from being applied to describe something is next level batshit authoritatian stuff. I’m not even sure they did that in Orwell’s 1984!

😂

I still can't see where the person mentioned race? Did they specifically say this or did you assume?? Because if you replace them with a white family it wouldn't be a race thing? People of different races can argue about things you know, it doesn't have to have anything to do with race. Sounds like you've been the one who has made it a race thing. Also what's with the phrase "pulling the race card" only a racist person would think that and even use that term .... 🤔

Tbh even using this term is pretty fucked up. Would you say someone pulled the disability card?

She posted a few times, so no, she didn't run away. Why is this always a hot potato to discuss. I

We don’t know that. OP assumed it.

‘Made an accusation of racism’?

Their comments wouldn't make sense if they were a white family, it only really makes sense in the context of them not being white

We were in a food stand queue at Disney a while ago and a lady, two kids and an elderly lady in a mobility scooter shoved in to join the man in front of us. We didn’t say anything, didn’t matter at the time just thought they were looking out for grandma whatever. The lady looked me in the eye turned to the man and said “I smell white folks…” And no, we weren’t whiffy!
My young daughter opened her mouth in astonishment, I shushed her and we turned to chat about something else. There are rude people everywhere and best ignored.

It doesn't though. I could do exactly the same thing implying OP is a "Karen"

Only a lazy person would make that assumption.🤔

Not really because the "us" comment implies that the op must have a problem with them specifically for a specific reason.

playing the race card means using race to gain some advantage. So no they didn’t do that. They made a mistake. They didn’t see the teen push in and thought op was the one pushing in. It is so common for black people to experience this. They were very rude however and the pushing was out of order.

This thread is about to be derailed by ignorance so I advise those with brain cells to make their excuses and leave - which is what op has done.

At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour!
insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!
It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family!

You just massively contradicted yourself there, when the woman spoke to you your first thought was about skin colour but then went on to say it hadn’t even crossed your mind.

I don't think you were being racist I think it was about the queue for you. Which is understandable, 1 person push in ok let it slide but to then expect the whole family to push in you were correct to say no. They probably sent the niece ahead to push in with the hope they could all jump the queue. If anything they were racist towards you and one of them even physically tried to intimidate you!!

Someone will be along shortly to tell you you should evaluate how you look at things and your unconscious bias has made this incident up.

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit. And having a short description for this situation helps. Same goes for the ‘sexist card’ or ‘homophobia card’ (which are terms one can use in my experience) and pulling a ‘sexist card’ for me doesn’t mean it lessens the genuine sexist experiences from elsewhere. Only that it can be used in isolated incidences.

I’m always amazed at how we can’t talk about racism without people becoming so sensitive about the minutiae, like immediate cut offs. Im genuinely confused by this

No, not only don't you get to bully people into submission, but you don't get to tell them when to post. Arrogant beyond belief.

Read the OP again - the pushers in did no such thing.