Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

[Glittercloud17]

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

Perhaps the issue is about white fragility?

Yes you're right OP. I would be fuming.

I have to disagree with you here, if only because in this particular instance it was the OP who racialised the situation.

On the broader issue that you raise, there does seem to be a backlash against antiracism work. There seems to be a perception that being perceived to be racist is worse than racism itself, and I don’t think that is right. Misunderstandings will always happen, but with mutual respect and honest communication, people can work through differences. I don’t think it’s healthy to assume that all ethnic minorities are waiting to trap others with false accusations of racism, and I think that in reality, most people are open minded and gracious if they are treated with respect and listened to. The problem is that communication is set up as some sort of power dynamic where someone is in the right and someone is in the wrong, and people are not used to hearing ethnic minorities assert themselves and so are liable to become defensive rather than listening and then responding (as opposed to reacting). Most people can tell when someone has goodwill and respond with generosity to this. The problem that many people from racialised minorities face is that in many cases, the people they are dealing with may be so busy on impression management (not coming across as racist) that they don’t actually listen to them.
Even when misunderstandings happen, people can work through them, as with the example I shared earlier with the man and woman on the plane. People just need to be more courageous.

Do you think that only white people are devious? I’ve witnessed ‘colleagues’ who have accused team mates and managers of treating them unfavourably based purely on their colour. One in particular comes to mind, he complained about being asked to do parts of the job for which he was employed, complained about not being given other tasks, for which he was offered training because he lacked the skills. He took offence. There were other POC in the team, who found him difficult to work with.

He complained about a female, mixed race supervisor, he was witnessed being very rude to her. He wasn’t disciplined (public sector fear of being deemed racist), he was moved. Issues followed in the next department, and the next. Every time he didn’t like some aspect of the work he said he was being treated differently due to racism. He’s probably still there.

You’ve raised some excellent, thought provoking questions here. Upon reflection I realise now that the phrase “race card” was not appropriate phrasing. As many point out, no ‘benefits’ or concessions were made based on anyone’s race.

I see now how the title of this topic should have been better phrased along the lines of “did I experience prejudice?” or something like this (I accept this might also not be the best title).

I raised this issue because I felt offended at the time. Judgements and harsh words, as well as a physical aggressive act was made against me without justification or explanation.

With the information I had at the time (the comments made) my intuition tells me the family made a judgement about me based on the fact I was ‘white’ (albeit not British white, but they weren’t to know this at first glance) and therefore reprimanded the teen because I felt some sort of control over her actions and not possibly because the teen had acted out of line )quite literally she had). Before the comments, we had not previously spoken or even looked at each other as far as I am concerned.

People who leave one comment responses (like ‘wowser’ etc) try to muffle people’s lived experience. However, racism isn’t exclusive to people of colour. It happens to all people of all races and we shouldn’t belittle anyone who goes through this when experience a conflict with someone, but we should listen careful and consider bother perspectives, not one more over the other. This is very difficult to do however (as one MN teacher experienced). One way it could be resolved is by sitting down and discussing (as another MN pointed out) but we can only do that if both parties are amenable to this, if there is no risk and the situation is calm.

I hope one day the world finds a peaceful ways to be open and understanding of each other regardless of how much melanin we have.

no ‘benefits’ or concessions were made based on anyone’s race.

Your ignorance continues to astound me OP 🤯😳

Please do some research into indigenous people and affirmative action. Better yet, actually talk to some people who are affected by racism. No one gets "benefits", it's just trying to level the playing field, and it will never be level. Well maybe one day, far, far into the future when all the racist people are dead. I suppose you think disabled people are also benefiting from blue badges and car spaces. Sigh 😑

These threads are great, it reminds us what some people really think, and it's disturbing.

Oh do fuck off

So you think that because she fought it and eventually won that means that this situation has never happened before or since and nobody in her position has ever lost? Don't be so obtuse.

Disturbing?! The people who I find most disturbing on this thread are those like you and others who gaslight and belittle anyone who dares to challenge your pernicious ideology of anti-white prejudice that respects the lived experience of anyone other but white people. It’s inverted racism and it’s toxic, and it’s so exhaustingly negative. I’m heartened by the vote that supported the OP 96% to 4%, even if she admits she used loaded terminology.

@Glittercloud17 Quote "Upon reflection I realise now that the phrase “race card” was not appropriate phrasing." 🙄

Ohhh please, your thread has been hijacked by the usual anti white crowd that always follows these threads. If you honestly take advise from AIBU from people like this i despair.

A lot of poster on here are gaslighting you just because of who you are and what you look like.

The funniest thing is that OP isn't actually white herself, she's hispanic

Omg they are awful sorry that happened to you

Hispanics are quite high on the pyramid of privilege though, so she shouldn’t expect anything sympathy from the embittered CRT crowd.

I can also respect white people who have experienced prejudice, like Irish for example who have been treated awfully in the past and in some ways still are. But lets not go there, because I can give you many examples. It's not inverted racism to challenge racism, don't be so pathetic 🤣 Inverted racism, ha ha ha, that has to be the most ridiculous concept I have ever heard 🤣

pernicious ideology of anti-white prejudice

this would be funny if it weren’t so terrifying.

I'm not white.
There's nothing wrong in saying pulled the race card.
This is exactly what happened.
These are the types to make false claims at work.
Makes it hard for people that really do suffer from racism.

They probs sent her in front to try and 'secure their place'. What else would she be doing moving up the queue on her own?

Yes, you’re right, it’s terrifying when you think about it, and the way in which some on the Left are trying to inflame racial tensions by viewing everything through a distorted lens of racial grievance (at least it would be if it gained traction).

The issue isn’t the correct belief that racism exists and needs addressing…. it’s the extrapolation of this into a belief that society is systematically racist to its foundations, and that almost everything, conscious and unconscious, is an expression of racist bias that goes to a white person’s core.

And that this then gives Black and POC people the moral authority to demand that white people atone, adapt and supplicate themselves in response to this systemic injustice, and accept the experiences of Black and POC people as inherently more authentic and valid than white people’s experiences which are fundamentally rooted in prejudice that needs to be purged and purified.

It’s a worldview that absolutely uses the almost universal recognition in western liberal societies that racism is morally wrong to justify an ideology of that empowers Black and POC as it denigrates White people.

It doesn’t seek to level the playing field, it seeks to turn the tables.

It doesn’t seek reconciliation, it seeks retribution.

Its power lies in racial division and mistrust, and so perversely it needs to fan the flames of racism in order to thrive. So, yes, it’s pernicious…

Absolutely.

I think the issue is that the sense of victimhood goes so deep that EVERYTHING is racist because, supposedly, society is structurally racist to its core.

And if everything is racist, ALL accusations are based in racism, and therefore CANNOT BE FALSE by definition (even if it’s conceded that some of the particulars of the accusations might be false).

And if accusations can’t be false because racism infects everything, the concept of “pulling the race card” can’t exist… it’s an impossiblity!

At least, that’s how the warped logic goes!

Challenging racism is not inverted racism… that’s not remotely what I said.

I honestly can't believe you're saying white people are the victims of inverted racism. Have you any idea how ridiculous that is. Would you also say a man is a victim of inverted sexism?

On the basis of the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of racism as “Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.", then yes, white people can experience racism in the same way as anyone else.

It’s only according to the Leftist Critical Race Theory, which divisively grades races into oppressor and oppressed classes, that anti-white racism is impossible. But I reject that thesis, as I believe most people do.

The fact that you “honestly can’t believe” that i believe white people can experience racism is indicative that you’ve lived in a Leftist echo-chamber for far too long! Try getting out into the real world and you’ll see how most people think, even if you believe they are very much mistaken.

And yes, inverted sexism exists, it’s called misandry.

And no, I don’t believe white people are the victims of inverted racism as though that’s an ongoing state of being. Anti-white racism isn’t all-pervasive, at least in a way that impacts most people’s daily lives, but it doesn’t mean it can’t and doesn’t exist in certain contexts.

Did I not give the example of Irish earlier, so yes that can happen. But overall, you're being ridiculous I am in the real world and experience racism everyday and trust me, it's not the white people who are experiencing it. I'm also not left wing, that's a lazy categorisation too 🙄

If you were a person of colour, you’d be told you are being aggressive now.