Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

[Glittercloud17]

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

But it HAD crossed your mind that they were black/asian as you have assumed they were referring to race even though it wasn’t mentioned, so it’s you pulling the ‘race card’

It crossed my mind because THEY discussed it with their loud conversation after which they purposefully said loud (read my last entry). I thought of other scenarios (the posh thing) but as we hadn’t talked at all, so they didn’t know me, I think they implied to the teenager I stopped her because I look white/they not. So yeah, at that point I did think they had judged me on my race.

Aren't you pulling the race card now? 😜

I don’t know what the hell is happening anymore. I feel you’ve just joined the conversation and not seen the saga as it’s unfolded last few days.

Because it's all BS. Just get the thread taken down.

at that point I did think they had judged me on my race.

Oh, the irony!

Right

So yeah, at that point I did think they had judged me on my race.

Wowsers, OP.

@Glittercloud17from your OP it was very clear that the other people were clearly seeing something that wasn’t there. As I said in my post earlier I have witnessed non white people play the race card to avoid accountability. On a thread like this you will always have people who will nitpick everything you say in a gotcha type way. If you can - ignore and move on.

@nomas Your response encapsulates all that’s wrong with much of the Left and their toxic attitude to the racism, and why it’s completely counterproductive and stokes racial tensions…

If a person of colour said they believed someone had judged them on their race, the response would have been sympathetic, supportive and understanding, and the perpetrator accused of being racist, one of the worst things you can label
someone.

However, a white person says this, and it’s “wowsers”.

You don’t right the wrong of historical racism by inverting it… you only perpetuate it and ensure that racism will be with us for another generation.

In my opinion the portion of the Left that push this are as much responsible for continuing racism as the Far Right. In their own way, and from different angles, they continue to stoke and fan its flames as part of the culture war they seem determined to fight. Shame on them both.

Is there a reason why you've jumped ahead of the three other people who were similarly bemused by OP's statement and landed on my post?

👏

The three of you are equally at fault in my opinion. The reason I chose yours was because your “wowsers” comment was particularly dismissive.

I note you don’t attempt to rebut anything I’ve said which is telling.

Wowsers is used to show surprise, not dismissal.

OP has spent the thread lamenting that this family assumed she was treating them differently based on their race and calls this 'pulling the race card' and yet it turns out she herself thinks she was treated differently based on race but thinks this isn't 'pulling the race card'.

You've then gone off on a tangent and called people racist for pointing out the irony.

And I’m pleased that we appear to have turned a corner in the country over the past few years, and that the corrosive “critical race theory”-based opinions spouted by @nomas , @tandora and @Westfacing are recognised for being the divisive and harmful nonsense - to people of all races - that they are. Good riddance to it.

I’ve not called anyone racist. I’ve merely said the mindset perpetuates racism.

Stop being disingenuous… A single, one word, response such as “wowsers” is a dismissive response, even if it tries to convey surprise too, that I don’t believe you’d have dreamt of using, based on the rest of your responses, if the OP was a person of colour.

And no one on this thread (or ever!) has said that believing you have been treated differently because of your race is “pulling the race card”. Where have you got that idea from?

As has been explained again and again, although I can see why people might dislike the phrase, “pulling the race card” means where someone uses the stigma and penalties associated with a racism accusation to accuse someone of racism to gain an advantage. I realise some don’t accept that this ever happens or is even possible (despite many, many people saying it’s their lived experience!) but that’s what it means nonetheless.

What do you think would have happened had she decided not to fight it? An angel would have visited her teller her that she had to? Or a lightning bolt would have zapped the kid?

How about you talk to the people using the RACE CARD and tell them its not a game. Were all bored of it, its lost its value and that has directly affected victims of real rasism.

You have a quick win to your play book, but people have become wise and bored of it, sorry to say your ship has sailed.

would have, could have, should have - it’s all a hypothetical.

It didn’t happen.

Because there is no such thing as “the race card” that confers special advantages on racialised minority people. There is structural racism and the inequalities and injustices that result from that. The idea of the “race card” is a construction intended to reinforce/ deny/ deflect from the realities of structural racism.

Yes people can make false accusations of racism (although as a pp explained it’s too simplistic to say that they are motivated to do so out of calculated personal interest) but there is no meaningful advantage to be gained from this, because the risk of backlash, punishment, failure significantly outweighs any chance of benefit.

OP, I think you need to take a deep breath and ask yourself what you were really hoping to achieve by starting this thread. Bearing in mind that:

1. You have addressed the thread to ‘people who have genuinely experienced racism’, asking them if the family were right to discriminate against you like this.
2. The discrimination which you describe is your perception that the family were implying you were racist in their conversation about you (not that they actually called you racist to your face or that you heard them calling you racist in their conversation).

Strictly speaking, you did not experience any discrimination at the hands of the family (although by your account of the events they tried to bully you), what you are describing is prejudice, which we do not know is racial or not - you yourself have admitted that you assumed that the prejudice was based on race, based on the skin colour of the family. You did not experience discrimination, because you were not deprived of any material rights by the family - they did not take your place in the queue. Even if we accept that your assumption is correct and the family thought you were racist, what exactly are you looking for with starting this thread addressing ‘genuine victims of racism’? Sympathy? Why is it up to genuine victims of racism, who face prejudice and discrimination all their lives, to give this to you? Even if the family thought you were racist, how does this concern genuine victims of racism and why do you expect them to explain the behaviour of the family? Do you think all victims of racism think alike? Do you think victims of racism have some special insight into the minds of airport queue bullies because they share the same skin colour? Do you feel that you are entitled to be seen as not racist by people who have experienced racism, and why do you think so? You should think very carefully about these questions.

Of course it is upsetting to be seen in a light that we do not see ourselves, and this is what victims of racism have to face all the time when dealing with racial stereotypes, such as being treated as if they are aggressive when they are not, or having their intelligence underestimated, et cetera. To what lengths would you go to correct what you think is a wrong impression, and what harm can result in the process? Because I don’t see this thread you have started as very productive, and it is potentially harmful with its perpetuation of racist stereotypes (including the harmful one of victims of racism having a race card to play to get what they want).

I have witnessed the race card being used. When it’s done in an environment entrenched in critical race theory and white privilege, it leaves no room for simply calling someone unprofessional, aggressive, moody etc as there are some non white people who will absolutely run with it if anyone who is white even raises any issues.

Discrimination can include micro aggressions and assumptions, so does not necessarily need there to be loss of material stuff. By this definition, OP did experience discrimination, it was assumed that her actions occurred because she was white.

@UmpteenthNCl think the OP raises a really important—and often avoided—conversation. In places like schools, hospitals, and workplaces, there can sometimes be a dynamic where non-white individuals feel they're being judged or mistreated by white people before anything has even been said. It’s as if there’s an assumption that white people are automatically in the wrong, and that non-white people are automatically victims. That assumption, in itself, can be a form of discrimination.

Discussions around race have become so dominated by ideas like CRT and white privilege that it’s hard to talk openly without being labelled. These frameworks do highlight real issues, but they can also make it difficult to have honest conversations where people are seen as individuals, not just as representatives of their racial group.
When everything is filtered through race alone, it can create tension and misunderstanding. White people may feel they’re being unfairly judged, while non-white people may feel entitled to react strongly to any perceived slight—even if it wasn’t intended that way. This can lead to a backlash that doesn’t help anyone and makes it harder to build trust and mutual respect.

Or, to be precise, she thinks that it was assumed that her actions occurred because of the colour of her skin (and she thinks this because of the colour of their skin, not because of what was actually said). We don’t know what they assumed and neither does she. We don’t know if they assumed something because of her accent or her dressing or anything else. But I take your point about discrimination including microaggressions, thank you.