Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

[Glittercloud17]

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

No no no no no. Racism is not a system that can be used by racialised minorities to their advantage. Racism is the direct opposite of that. This is really a problem that people think it’s ok to reinvent who benefits from racism this way.

That is not to say that people can’t be mistaken about other people’s intentions, or make false accusations about racism. Of course they can.

But racism is not a system that confers advantage in racialised groups. it’s really, really harmful and wrong, and racist to imply this.

@Allergictoironing

Are you genuinely denying that there are any people from a racial minority who ever try to use their race as an excuse or to try to gain an advantage?

It seems so, and it’s just such a weird position to try and defend… Yes, black people can be twats too, as white people obviously can, but no no no… you can’t say that because “racism”.

It’s insane… it’s as though they’re trying to stir turns up from a racial perspective and goad people into being racist out of sheer exasperation! It won’t work with me - I hope it won’t work with others…

It is odd that OP has seen it so often and then another poster has seen it ‘hundreds of times’, when I’ve never seen it.

It’s not about the personalities of individuals though.

It’s about a total misrepresentation and denial of the system/ social structure of racism. The phrase “race card” deceptively and racistly flips the narrative- suggesting that racism is a system that can/ is being gamed by racialised minorities to obtain unfair/ unreasonable advantage. Racism as a social structure does the exact opposite of that.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t bad or manipulative individuals who also happen to be racialised minorities, but it is to acknowledge that no matter how bad or manipulative they are , racism is not a system that confers advantages on them. It doesn’t.

@Tandora

No no no no no. Racism is not a system that can be used by racialised minorities to their advantage.

Yes yes yes! It’s simple to see how someone could use a false allegation of racism to deflect from their own actions. I’ve seen it, as other people have on this thread too… People use pretences and equivocations to distort things to their advantage all the time! It would be far odder if no one ever tried to leverage it to their advantage.

Ugh. I give up.

Come on, of course someone can make false or spurious accusations of racism to their advantage, in the same way they can for sexism and other isms.

Everyone, black, white or otherwise, has the capacity for manipulation and deception, and to pretend otherwise, is ridiculous.

🙇

But racism is not a system that confers advantage in racialised groups. it’s really, really harmful and wrong, and racist to imply this.

I don't see anywhere I've said that the system does confer advantage, and I would always argue that racism is a bad thing. I'm not suggesting that they are taking advantage of their race, but a small minority taking advantage of pushing at the edges of systems and rules which have been put into place to try to reduce their disadvantage.

@Tandora

And yes, obviously i agree “racism” doesn’t benefit people who are in racial
minorities…

But no one is saying that, it’s a complete straw man…. The issue people who accuse someone of, or spuriously invoke, racism, when no racist action has occurred.

@Tandora

So how would you describe the time I told a black kid to stop trampling on the flowers in my garden (in the same way would to anyone), and he responded by saying “don’t talk to me like that you racist bitch… you wouldn’t tell white kids to get out of your garden!”

No. I said hundreds of incidents of students of all types ..in other words he was spitballing because teens of all colours act like twats and he was dealt with the same as any other, but he chose to say it was racially motivated.

I don’t think it’s a straw man, to point out the harms of the concept of the “race card”.

The phrase “race card” deceptively and racistly flips the narrative- suggesting that racism is a system that can/ is being “gamed” by some racialised minority people to obtain unfair/ unreasonable advantage. Racism as a social structure does the exact opposite of that.

Yes of course someone can misunderstand someones intentions and/ or falsely accuse someone else of racism. No one is saying otherwise. But even when they do this, it really doesn’t confer them any advantages. Honestly it doesn’t. There is no “race card” to play, or game to be won by the very people who the system exists/ functions to oppress/ exclude .

Yes of course someone can misunderstand someones intentions and/ or falsely accuse someone else of racism. No one is saying otherwise. But even when they do this, it really doesn’t confer them any advantages.

Well in the case of the guy who's job I took over, he did have an advantage. Without his accusations of racism he would have been eventually dismissed from his civil service job. Instead he continued in that role for many years, and continued to get average pay rises (usually performance based) for that time.

Ridiculous comment. Are you suggesting that no one EVER flags up their protected characteristic cynically as the reason they have been treated in a certain way?

I’m gay and I can tell you that some LGBT people conveniently scream ‘homophobia’ even when that is not the motivating factor. Am I therefore homophobic if I call someone from my community out on pulling the homophobia card? Give your head a wobble.

That's literally what bias is - assuming something because it fits your preconceptions.

It's very weird, for a few years there when eveyone was undergoing anti-bias training, they always started out by saying, all people have biases based on their ideas about the world, but also because of their real personal experiences.

Then they go on to talk about how white people don't realise x, y, and z are racist because of their bias. But they don't seem to make the leap, which is totally supported by this theory, to point out that anyone who has the idea that racism is rampant, or has experienced a lot of racism, is likely to make the opposite mistake of attributing things to racism that are actually something else - mistakes, people being generally nasty, whatever.

No it isn’t. They were cf who tried to queue jump. Pisses me off intently. Most theme parks eject people who try it on.

He may well have felt targeted because of his race. These feelings may be based on previous experiences, or simply from knowledge / learning / understanding he’s gained from living in a racist society.

Alternatively, It may have been something that he didn’t really think/ feel, but said just to try and make you feel bad.

Maybe it was a little bit of both.

You on the other hand cannot necessarily know or control the extent to which your actions/ feelings may have been somewhat influenced by latent racism. Maybe a white kid would have annoyed you less ? You should never totally refuse or exclude the idea that subconscious racism is a thing, because it is a thing that affects us all, and we all have the responsibility to work on it.

Either way, there is no meaningful sense in which that boy was able to confer some kind of advantage over you or oppress you in some way through that interaction, by “playing the race card”. All he did was make himself more exposed/ vulnerable/ more of a target. He didn’t elicit any sympathy, he made you angry.

And as for you - the worst that happened was you got your feelings hurt. If his words hurt- reflect on them, at the end of the day that sort of reflection will cause you no harm, and may very well do some good.

ugh.

Anything like what though?
The other woman said: “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”.
What could it be an example of?

I agree with you actually. That would have been a better title as my original title has opened a can of worms.

we were in a foreign country when this happened, we’d travelled for 12 hours so we were all frazzled.

Could have been anything. How they were dressed? Maybe she simply meant they came across as arrogant / entitled?

Yes you are racist. You are minimising what is an inherently racist terminology and suggesting that people who find the use of 'the race card' racist are wrong. If people are telling you your language is racist, perhaps you should start listening. Unfortunately in your case ignorance is compounding your error . . .

@Tandoraa response of “ugh” isn’t an argument. I’ve seen similar things happen in my place of work: absolutely useless workers who claim “racism” whenever any feedback is given. Not being discriminated against because of their race, but because of their woeful incompetence!

It definitely happens and to pretend otherwise is just to ostrich the problem.

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