Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

[Glittercloud17]

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

They sound like an angry, nasty bunch of people who have a giant chip on their shoulder. They seemed to have sent the kid to push in because they were testing you and to “prove” something e.g teenagers need to be more assertive or that everyone is a big racist. Whatever it was, their actions were unjustified, unnecessary and really bloody irritating. Loads of passive aggressive conversations to try and get a rise out of you too.

It becomes very dark when you say one of them violently hurt you in your back. That’s a whole other level of aggression and they clearly have some deep seated resentment at the world. That person should be done for assault and I would have made sure security were made aware so that I could report them.

what's that got to do with this thread?

What’s the post I was responding to got to do with the thread?

No. Only on the obviously “stirring” ones.

I will leave responding to the stretching, as I've got to go out. On another thread, I was responding to a similar situation. The world is full of devious, manipulative people, who come in all shapes and sizes. Just because it doesn't suit you, to admit it does happen amongst all races, doesn't mean it doesn't indeed happen. Its been a breath of fresh air to see posters be able to put their view across, with only minimal distortion of what OP was asking.

Oh, of course - and you've made yourself the arbiter of what constitutes that kind of thread? Got it.

This is the problem. I am not racist and neither is the OP by using this term. Everything is racist these days isn't it? Which when real racism occurs, people take less notice, which is a problem.

Another example.

Just because it doesn't suit you, to admit it does happen amongst all races, doesn't mean it doesn't indeed happen.

What are you even on about? I was one of the first people on the thread and I said ‘You met some twats, they exist in all races.’

No one has said any race is twat free.

So what's the problem. We've even got somebody asking for photos, as proof. @Glittercloud17 get online and download a stock image of an airport queue.

In my child’s school there was a group of kids from a particular ethnic background who were often very noisy and rowdy during lunchtime.
A supervising teacher would tell them to calm down or leave the cafeteria, in response to which they called the teacher racist, more than once.
So just because someone’s been accused of racism doesn’t always mean it’s true.

The race card is lazily used to try to shut down any legitimate (race unrelated) challenge.

@Tandora

That would imply that racism is a system that racialised minorities are able to manipulate and “cheat” to their advantage.

Of course racial minorities can use false accusations of racism to manipulate and gaslight to their advantage. And sometimes some of them do, because they are human. I’m not sure why this is a point of contention.

Otherwise, either you believe racial minorities are perfect and would never do such a thing, or don’t have the moral capacity to do so. Which is it?

Because the thread has become a general discussion of whether sometimes people might use a characteristic to deny bad behaviour or oppose a reprimand. Upthread I mentioned my situation from years ago, as outlined. The teen accused me of picking on him due to colour and I had to get union involvement. A poster then said that I was apparently quite likely to be displaying unconscious bias rather than justifiably moving the seat of a misbehaving student. I haven't yet had any clarification on how that would manifest..should I move a different student who wasn't spitballing?

It can be used that way…. But equally, just calling “racist” can shut down any legitimate discussion in the other direction!

The problem is it’s very convenient that OP sees people ‘pulling the race card’ often.

I’ve seen lots of racism but even after having lived and worked in London for decades at dozens of places with people and friends from every ethnicity, I’ve never seen anyone of any race ‘pull the race card’. So it is surprising that OP sees it often.

Yes, it seems to be an uncomfortable truth that some people of colour will use false accusations of racism to deflect from their of others’ bad behaviour… But some on here are saying this can’t be acknowledged, and to do so would itself be racist - some people seem to have really fallen a long way down the woke rabbit hole!

If you’re going to say that the thread is only for people to recount their descriptions of ethnic minorities behaving badly, then it’s only right that people counter that with their own experiences.

It’s not about the character of individual people.

The point is that racism is not a system that racialised minorities are able to “game” to their advantage- quite the opposite!!. That is a total refutation/ denial of what racism as a system/ social structure is/ does, and the inequalities and injustices that it creates.

It implies that in SOME cases it CAN be used by SOME people to gain an advantage. Same way that sexism is a system where SOME women CAN use the system to their advantage in SOME cases.

Just about all systems can be "gamed", whether ones bounded by formal rules or by things like cultural bias. We all hear how there are various ways round financial rules for example and are disgusted when someone manipulates them for their own advantage, that's a case of formal rules being "gamed"

In no way does it imply that this is normal or usual behaviour, and I wouldn't term racism as a system but more as a cultural set of behaviours; I used the term system purely to show where the reference to playing a card came from.

Are you genuinely denying that there are any people from a racial minority who ever try to use their race as an excuse or to try to gain an advantage?

For crying out loud....we are talking about whether the ops experience may have been due a phenomena where sometimes a person uses race or other characteristic to excuse or deny poor behaviour. Mine is such an example to counter those who say it doesn't happen. I'm happy to recount hundreds of similar incidences over thirty years of students of all types misbehaving. Not one single person here is denying racism happens. We don't need tit for tat examples to prove it, but some are denying that things such as the OP and mine cases don't happen and are in fact us being "subconsciously biased". Im waiting, still, for someone to tell me how that works in my unambiguous example.

And some of those twats will use false accusations of racism as a way to manipulate something for their own benefit.

I’ve not encountered it much in my life, but there’s one example of it in particular that stands out… It would be really odd to think it never happens, and that every single person who would otherwise do all kinds of manipulative and gaslighting stuff would suddenly be all morally upright and draw the line at using racism.

So you’ve seen hundreds of people from ethnic minorities ‘play the race card’?

Do you see why many people just don’t find that credible?

Especially when the statistics are that many BAME people don’t even report racist abuse?

The idea that these ethnic minorities who hesitate to report racism abuse go around ‘playing the race card’ is quite novel.

The race card can be lazily used to try to shut down any legitimate (race unrelated) challenge.

I agree it can be used in that way, it's just not the only way it's used. It's also used to refer to actual cases of someone blaming racial bias when that isn't the case.

Who said I had authority? I just said that ‘pulling the race card’ is a real thing that I’ve seen.