To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

[ThatRealLimeBee]

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

Oh and I bet you are also financially dependent on your DH- if he left tomorrow, I’d bet my house that you couldn’t survive on your own without him on your own earnings as an individual. Most can’t, but like to feel superior for working any token amount of hours. Most of the hours my friends who do work covers a few holidays etc and is a drop in the ocean compared to what their DH’s cover- still financially dependent factually 😂

Shows how little people understand the role these days. My children are being brought up to understand and respect what housewives do.

Again with the assumptions.

I left my ex husband and found myself somewhere else to live, paid for all the furniture in that place, and covered the bills and all costs for 3 years until I met my partner.

I absolutely can survive financially by myself, as can many others. I know because I have.

The problem is people judging me who downright lie about their own level of financial independence.

I would like to know out of all the posters who have been ganging up on me who truthfully could, if their DH left tomorrow and refused to contribute financially, still (without upping their hours) cover everything themselves that is currently needed to maintain their current lifestyle exactly as it is? If you cant, then you are also financially dependent on your DH.

Stop lying and own it!

Me. 👋🏻

Yes I could.

I have zero issue with how you’ve chosen to live your life. I couldn’t do it and I wouldn’t want to. I do think it makes you financially vulnerable but that’s your choice. I don’t agree with the term professional housewife, it doesn’t exist as profession. I think if you’ve chosen not to participate in the labour market, pay taxes etc then you own that and don’t make up jobs. You’re a housewife. That’s your choice and you don’t need to dress it up.

My issue your vitriol towards working mothers. It’s unnecessary and downright nasty.

Will they be brought up to respect those who choose to work too?

The pressure for women to work after they have children is capitalist bullshit. Women fought for the right to work so they could choose to fund themselves instead of being forced into relying on a man, and now it's been twisted into someone that just benefits capitalist fat cats - you're now useless if you don't work, and if (gasp) you choose to be a SAHM.

And half of mumsnet is doing the dirty work for them, scratching anyone who is a SAHM and financially dependant on their husband.

You should be able to depend on the partner you married to bring home the bacon whilst you look after home and family. If he earns enough, and is happy with the arrangement , why shouldn't mum stay home with the kids.

It is better for the kids. Of course it is.

"Ewww you're financially dependent on a man! You're so financially vulnerable!"... So? No problem with that if it works for the family. You should be able to trust him. You should be able to be vulnerable. If you can't trust your husband, then maybe you should have chosen a better husband. Utterly weird that you married someone you can't trust, better to have not married at all.

If their DHs left, and that mother was left with barely anything from the divorce (unlikely but let's pretend), we all know she'd still be able to find her way and support herself. Of course she would. Not like she's gonna lie down in a gutter and die is it? Being a SAHM gives a lot of transferable skills if nothing else.

Truly think people who fearmonger at SAHMs are jealous because they can't do it and feel secure, and would actually love it if they could.

No issue with working mums. They have to do that, either for their current financial health or emotional health or because they can't trust their husbands or because their husbands won't allow it or whatever. Any reason they have for continuing work is valid as far as I care, and I have no reason to believe they're not doing their best. But damn, they do seem to get overly angry at SAHMs and delight in putting them down.

I'm planning to quit work and be a housewife at this rate as my health sucks (did have career aspirations about going to Uni and try to restart my career in a more sustainable way , but mumsnet shat on my confidence about that saying I couldn't do it as I'm disabled lol) and I don't even have kids. I'd be entirely dependant on DH and vulnerable. I'm cool with that. I'll frolic in the fields and bake him cookies and take him lunch whilst you're having yet another wanky meeting about KPIs or some shit and worrying about whether to spend your super high wage in a beach holiday or loft conversion. If he leaves me, worst that will happen is homelessness really. And I'm sure it wouldn't.

Anyway,

I think men would cope fine as women. As well as we cope, anyway hahaha.

I have zero issue with women choosing to be a SAHP. If it works for your family then go for it!

I have issues with people suggesting I’m neglecting my child by going out to work. Or that I’m working for luxuries rather than providing for my family.

I’m not jealous either, I have never wanted to be a SAHP and while it’s partly because financial independence is important to me it’s also because I wouldn’t enjoy it. We’re all different.

Maybe do some research about post-divorce poverty before you spout off eh? Theres a reason for the warnings.

I understand perfectly that being a housewife is in no way a profession and anyone claiming otherwise is delusional.

Have to ask - whats an 'average' woman? I don't know any tow women that lead even similar lives.

Can't address any of the points raised there then?

You're embarrassing yourself.

I can and have run a household on my own for years after divorcing my ex husband and buying him out of the house to get rid of him because he was lazy and useless at home, thought all he had to do was work and complain he was tired from work. I won't be anyone's maid. I don't depend on my husband for his money. I would expect him to continue to pay 50% of my daughters costs if we ever divorce because he is her father but I don't need his money for me or my lifestyle.

No. You do not have two full time jobs.

Being a mother is not a job, it is a role. A personal responsibility. One that you don't do full time because your children are at school.

Professional Housewife 😂 like I said you're embarrassing yourself.

You don't have any full time jobs. You are unemployed.

You’re embarrassing yourself being so rude to me.

A society that disrespects full time motherhood is utterly corrupt and materialistic. Abusive actually to both women and children. That’s embarrassing.

Oh and it sounds like your ex-DH would be much better suited to a housewife, a proper team player who respects his contribution instead of running him into the ground and trying to palm their half onto him. Hope he found one- plenty out there who respect a good man!

Well done for ignoring people who have been hateful towards you, and for prioritising your own health. It’s your life, wishing you well ☺️

That’s a little below the belt.

I don’t think we need to be a) accusing posters of abusing women and children or b) commenting on their ended marriages, that we know very little about.

You are joking, after the sheer amount of negative, angry, ranting posts I’ve had from that poster?! Mocking me, laughing at me?

My advice- stop dishing it out if you can’t take it. I will absolutely retaliate.

lol you’re jumping the shark.

a lazy man doing nothing at home, isn’t a team player or a good man.

What a shitty comment. Low even for you @ThankYouNigel

You might be happy to be married to a man who thinks his only contribution to family life is financial, but many of us view those men as poor husbands and poor fathers. Especially when we’re just as capable of providing financially for our family.

I’m not joking, no.

Accusing a PP of child abuse, essentially, is out of line.

And if someone says why their previous relationship ended, it’s not up to you to say he’s a “good man.” That’s for her to decide, he’s her ex husband.

Retaliating and getting personal, are different.

Are you actually accusing working mothers of abusing their children? You need help.

Society is absolutely abusive to hound and badger mothers not to be with their own babies before either party is ready. To pester them, to question them, to shame them. Animals in the wild know better than that!

Some of them also eat their own young, I’d say that’s fairly abusive.

You’re honestly another level.