To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

[ThatRealLimeBee]

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

There's no way you can have a full time job, look after your children, AND prioritise your hobbies. You can be as efficient as you want, when you work 8-10 hours a day, and have a family life, something got to give.

lol, of course you can. Millions of people all over the world manage it every single day.

It's only on social media that basic daily activities seem to be turned into some massive task that needs hours of your dedicated attention.

I don't need to know your life to know you have the same hours in a day as anyone else, and if you work full-ti me as you claim, you spend some of these hours working.

Suggesting we do everything someone who doesn't work can do is physically not true. Can't be in 2 places at once.

Your posts suggest resentment, that's all. I am not putting any superiority in anyone's occupation, but then I don't feel defined by my job title.

What appearance pressure?
I've just been out in leggings and a t shirt and i didn't offend anyone.
Went out last night, opened the wardrobe, put a dress on with comfy sandals as we were walking to the restaurant. Did my make up in about 6 minutes mascara blush and lipstick. Done. I don't own a makeup bag the size of a small suitcase.
The only appearance pressure you feel is from within. That's an issue with your own confidence. If the pressure is coming from your other half then the problem is with him

A degree in Physics is wasted if you spend your life baking.

@SugarSoiree Education is never a waste. The problem is, the entire system sees education as a goal rather than as a process.

A degree in physics is really useful if your child is taking physics. You are also far more likely to encourage your children into STEM, and particularly if you have girls, that’s a good thing. Also, most of baking is about physics.

My husband didn’t use his degree for work. His job is totally different from what he studied, but it still comes in useful for a whole load of things.

There are many benefits to women being educated, even if they then choose to spend part of their adult life raising children. They are far more likely to be politically active, they are at less risk of being exploited, their children are less likely to be illiterate and will be higher earners because of it. It isn’t a “free ride” to be raising the next generation.

million of people all over the world do not PRIORITISE their hobbies and leisure when they have children to raise and a full time job. Don't be so ridiculous.

If you were prioritising your hobbies, then working an 8-10 hours normal job, you would be a pretty crap parent for a start.

I am happy to pay for cleaner/ gardener/ window cleaner like most people because I can't magic extra time, so what. I don't resent people who do everything themselves, why would I, and more importantly, why do you?

It's just a way for people to justify why they don't work, IME. Apparently it takes hours to keep a house clean and tidy, and to do basic chores like a food shop, even though millions of people work full-time and manage all those things.

As they say, tasks often expand to fit the time available!

Why do you keep blabbering about people being resentful?

Millions of (excellent) parents manage to work, run a home and spend time on their hobbies without any resentment or drama whatsoever.

they don't need to justify anything, why do you think it's ok to attack them?

If they are happy at home, and in a happy relationship, why does it impact you?

No need for people to fall over themselves to claim they can do EVERYTHING, when in reality, working parents rush from work to children, do quick meals because they haven't got time to spend 1 hour and more making diner, use childcare and cleaners.

Just read threads on this very forum, how many posters are at breaking point because juggling work/ children/ life chores in general is just too much? So what if a family has a bit less money (earns less, saves on wraparound care) but a much more relax house?

What is it to you? No one is telling that you belong in the kitchen, so why should it be ok to tell someone else they belong in an office?

the ones making drama are the ones making violent posts about "letting the other side down" and all that nonsense. If you missed out on people being resentful, just read the thread again. There are some very unhappy people on here 😂

who care if million of people MANAGE to do this and that. Some people don't want to manage. Woman have the CHOICE, and we need to make sure they keep that choice.

Of course you can, don’t be silly. Maybe your children are very young, but by the time they’re teenagers, it is perfectly possible to work full time (which is counted as anything more than 30 hours a week) be an active and engaged parent, have and prioritise hobbies, socialise and have a clean house.

I don't give a toss what other people do with their time. You're the one who keeps arguing with everyone and telling them they must be resentful or miserable.

If other people are struggling they're free to make changes, like we all are.

I also don't work in an office

If you see resentment then I suggest that’s on you, not me.
I fully support women to make whatever choices suits them and their family. My life wouldn’t work for others and I have never wanted to be a SAHP. That’s all okay.

I bloody love my job and it is a huge part of my identity. I’m not ashamed of that.

I’ve never claimed that I can be in two places at once. I don’t need to be. We’ve organised our life in a way that works for us as a family. I don’t see why that’s a problem or worthy of your judgement.

Between me and my husband we cover everything that was on that list. As do the majority of couples I know.

Be careful, you'll be told you're resentful in a minute

Between me and my husband we cover everything that was on that list. As do the majority of couples I know.

Exactly. People can stay at home or be housewives if that's what they want (and are able) to do, but there's no need to act as though it's essential if you want to engage in hobbies or whatever. It's a choice, just as working full-time or using childcare is a choice.

I think the difference is probably that it’s more likely to be possible to have a tidy home, a full time job and a social life/hobbies when both parties are pulling their weight in all areas.

For example, I do one of my hobbies on a Thursday. I leave the house, and don’t sort dinner, and my partner…. feeds himself and looks after his own child. He doesn’t get a round of applause for that, he’s his father and that’s his job too.

If you’ve gotten yourself into the position where that’s your job, it’s probably quite difficult to leave that to someone else to do.

Everyone in my house had pretty much been up since 3:30 yesterday, and then 1:30 today. The house still looks respectable and we’ve all still eaten. And been food shopping.

If we can do that without the melodrama, and both still go back to work tomorrow, I’m sure others can.

Without snark, I’d love to know how people achieve this. If anything, I’m finding the demands of parenting teens far exceed the demands of parenting young children. When they were younger, I felt like I could really outsource a lot of the tasks, I don’t feel I can outsource as much parenting teens. Admittedly, I probably had too many kids to make that achievable, but for the first time in my life I am considering dropping my hours at work due to the demands of parenting and general life. I earn around £75k, so haven’t been on pocket change all these years, but I am genuinely finding myself needing to invest more rather than less into parenting as my kids hit adolescence.

We all know that it was started by a bloke called Archie Duke who shot an ostrich 'cos he was hungry.

But you can't blame all men for it.

So basically you want women to fight misogyny, but you don't have a problem describing women using misogynistic terms. OK then... 🤔

It probably helps that I only have two DCs. My hobbies are running and singing so I run early in the morning and sing one or two evenings a week when DH takes over completely. Otherwise, both do hobbies which mean a level of driving around (and driving around separately) so there are good opportunities to chat in the car most days while they’re on their own with a parent.

My work is close to school and home so I don’t need to factor in much of a commute (20 mins cycle which I often do with the teens as well). My work is fairly flexible, pays well (about the same as yours) and I’ve been doing it for a while so a lot of problems don’t look quite as bad. DH definitely pulls his weight with the children and has put a lot of time into making sure that he is as close to them as I am.

We’re all out a lot so the house is pretty manageable, but we jointly clean at the weekend and then take it in turns to clean up after meals, stick laundry on etc. I think it is mostly expecting everyone in the house to pull their weight and ensure that everyone has time
off.

Good grief back to jealousy 😂

It's ok, from your cutting hedge brain surgery comment I'm going to guess you're not bright enough to grasp what I've actually been trying to tell you. No one likes scroungers! We certainly aren't jealous of them! We want them to actually pull their weight in society!

Violent posts 😂😂😂😂

I've seen it all now!

you must give a toss if you are here arguing on this thread 😂

While women waved white feathers at the men who stayed behind.

I am not sure why you believe that anyone should care about "what you want" or why you seem to think it matters? Just because you have an opinion and can express it online, it doesn't mean you are right or your opinion matters.

You are clearly not bright enough to grasp that there are many ways to "pull your weight in society" and many don't have anything to do with paid employments.

When a family is self-supporting, no one is "a scrounger" but you are missing that point. They might even be pulling their weight a lot more than you are.

Trust me, no one who is not paying tax, but is using public services, had their school years paid for, has all their treatment free on the NHS and will get their pension paid in their old age without ever paying a penny in is pulling their weight in society. Not in an economic sense which is why the country is currently fucked. Their husband's might be paying for their house and bills and the food they eat but they are certainly not paying for everything they take from the state. Looking after your own family is not a service to society, it's a personal responsibility we all have and most of us manage it while working too.

You're the one angrily arguing away while all the posters here are agreeing with me and not you, so why are you still arguing with all of us? Why do you think your opinion matters?

Btw Cyan, if ThanksNigel gets her way and Nigel gets in, removes all nursery funding and forces women back into the kitchen where she and he thinks they belong by making childcare unaffordable, women won't have the choice. You can bet your bottom dollar it won't be men leaving the workforce in drives to care for children. Child care liberates women to have their own ambition and independence and Nigel wants to take that away. How's that for misogyny!?