To ask neighbour to close curtains

[Handrearedmagpie]

First of all, I know IABU. It's more a question of HOW unreasonable.
My young DS is autistic, non speaking and has a severe learning disability. Meltdowns are triggered by sudden changes like adverts on the TV. Neighbour diagonally across street from me has very large windows and an ENORMOUS TV. Never shuts her curtains/blinds so DS can watch her TV from our house and fixates on it when his own tablet is removed before bedtime.
Every. Single. Night. It's meltdown when adverts appear on her TV. Obviously I shut our own blinds but he knows her TV is there and just opens them again, or he will go upstairs and hyper focus on her TV from my bedroom window.
How horrendously unreasonable would I be to ask her to close her blinds for half an hour at night just to avoid this nightly hysteria??! I'm at my wits end with it.
YABU - absolutely unreasonable. It's your child's disability to manage.
YANBU - you can only ask and see what she says.

Ha ha ha.
Do you always insult people with perfectly valid views, just because they don't agree with you? 🫣

Obviously my perfectly good "solution" doesn't meet their approval 🤣 just as well I have no fucks left to give!

Why aren't you willing to try solutions that don't impose on others?

Are you hard of understanding? My solution doesn't impose on anyone bar me!!

It would be a no from me. Light is important to me and l dislike closing my lounge curtains -l never close them. Your request most likely would come across as controlling / odd. Plus lm neurodiverse and your sons behaviours are not a priority in my house, in the same mine probably wouldn’t be in yours

Where l live parking is at a premium so a number of my neighbours would love your parking spot for their camper van / truck etc so that could be a goer

Theres been a lot said. I’d just came here to say if you asked me and said your reason I most definitely would help you out.

There have been some good suggestions regarding changes you could try.

As you don't know my child, his needs, triggers or behaviours, you have no idea if they are good suggestions or not. The solution chosen 'imposes' on no-one. My NDN WANTED on-street parking, the solution works for BOTH of us, and he's not an arsehole and happy he can help!

And she chose the best one which a kind PP cleverly suggested!

OP wishing you all the best. I think with this one issue we've only seen a little glimpse into both how much strategising it takes to make your son's life as enjoyable and manageable as possible and also into how shitty some people can be about it. Fingers crossed the van is the solution!x

Sure.

Jeez I’ve now read some of the replies. There are some nasty fuckers about in the world 😂 Don’t worry op. Most people are nice and like to help others out if they can.

Love that you have a solution. I do love the universal remote idea if I’m honest!

Thank you!! For the first time in what feels like months I'm not going to bed with a knot of anxiety about a nightly meltdown!

Still doesn't answer why you weren't open to any of the good suggestions regarding changes you could make to your windows.
Anyway, I wish you well, just quite shocked at expecting others to alter their perfectly normal behavior.

My god this thread is a cesspit of ableist twats

Again, as you have no understanding of my child's needs, you have no idea what constitutes a "good suggestion".
There was also never any "expectation" - that would be a demand, not merely asking a question.

OP doesn’t owe you answers you know.

Sure, my neighbours think it's really shitty that I don't ask them to close their curtains to suit me.

You're right, she doesn't, however she might have owed her neighbour some similar answer/explanation.

You still don't get that it would have been an imposition to even ask?

I really wouldn't do this. If it really is for only a few days you could put some film on the outside of your own windows. People have their own struggles and challenges to cope with. I would save up asking for favours for something more important which might crop up in the future. Also I am not sure how they would react to your telling them that your ds is staring in their windows watching their TV every night!

You've even missed the part that it wasn't "to suit me" but to potentially help a distressed, disabled child.
Even with all my sons challenges, I absolutely know who is choose to live next to between him or you!

You are still not explaining how my solution imposes on someone.

There are a few unpleasant/rude comments, but it's really not ableist to suggest that OPs child's issues aren't the responsibility of her neighbour. We can all sympathise and appreciate how difficult it might be, without feeling that we need to be her solution. We also don't know the ability/disability situation or needs of the neighbour.

Do you have an autistic child who is prone to daily meltdowns? Because otherwise this is a different situation to the OP. She doesn’t want the curtains closed for “her”