To ask neighbour to close curtains

[Handrearedmagpie]

First of all, I know IABU. It's more a question of HOW unreasonable.
My young DS is autistic, non speaking and has a severe learning disability. Meltdowns are triggered by sudden changes like adverts on the TV. Neighbour diagonally across street from me has very large windows and an ENORMOUS TV. Never shuts her curtains/blinds so DS can watch her TV from our house and fixates on it when his own tablet is removed before bedtime.
Every. Single. Night. It's meltdown when adverts appear on her TV. Obviously I shut our own blinds but he knows her TV is there and just opens them again, or he will go upstairs and hyper focus on her TV from my bedroom window.
How horrendously unreasonable would I be to ask her to close her blinds for half an hour at night just to avoid this nightly hysteria??! I'm at my wits end with it.
YABU - absolutely unreasonable. It's your child's disability to manage.
YANBU - you can only ask and see what she says.

i didn’t say I have a magic solution but the OP doesn’t seem to have considered the ones she has been offered. I don’t know the OP’s child. And the OP doesn’t know her neighbour with the TV in question or what her life/needs/issues/struggles might be.

She doesn't owe you a reply and if the idea doesn't suit her sons needs she isn't going to consider it. She's clearly upset about the situation and came here for advice because she's at the end of her tether. You and others seem to be enjoying making her feel worse. It's really a bit twisted.

Fair question, but I genuinely think he's not that bothered about watching her TV, so doesn't react to it not being on. It's like he focuses on it, jumping up & down with excitement, to wait for adverts, which then causes a huge meltdown. Nobody is trying to make him watch them and he reacts the same every single time so I really really don't know why he is doing it When it causes him so much distress (He reacts the same to adverts on our TV, which is why I just don't have it on when he's awake).

It’s been enough to make me want to leave op. I don’t blame you. But take with you my good wishes and many others. To better times!

I think most people should listen to you and close the curtains, I certainly would! Good luck, it sounds very tough.

Nobody is suggesting anyone goes out of their way to make your life harder, and we do sympathise with your situation, however the reality is that it's your situation to solve, not your neighbour's. I hope you find a solution.

I'm not assuming entitlement, it is entitlement, regardless of what has led to it.

Such a helpful response!

Sorry but this, if what you mean by people not going out of their way is not doing as you want.

I can relate, my son is the same with adverts (also Autistic) - we now cannot watch Channel 4 at home because he was terrified of a pylon advert that featured YEARS ago 😭

You can get integral blinds in double glazed windows.Theyre controlled by a sliding mechanism that can “accidentally” come off and cause the blind to remain in a closed position or at an angle where they cant see into the neighbours room Fairly expensive and hopefully they wouldnt break it in frustration at not being able to see the neighbours tv

One poster literally said they would laugh in my face then go out of their way to do the opposite to wind my child up more.

If you read the updates, I have found a solution

So politely asking a neighbour for a favour in a time of need is now entitlement? God forbid you ever need someone to take in a parcel for you or move their car so you can have a skip delivered. I’m glad I don’t live on your street. My neighbours do all sorts of kind things for each other and would not hesitate at this request.

No, what I meant by 'going out of their way' was as I stayed in the post above, someone literally stated they would do the opposite to wind my son up. Their comment has since been deleted. Why would I think that someone saying no to a question is going out of their way to make things harder.

Asking a neighbour to alter when they close their own curtains isn't 'asking for a small favour', it's actually quite an imposition. We actually do help each other out, but nobody has ever decided they have a right to decide when someone else opens or closes their curtains.

But some of you are going on like she asked for a kidney ffs

I've read the updates.
I've seen the 'solution'.

OP you have the patience of a saint in your responses to some of the complete batshit posts pps made!
I'd be happy to try and accommodate a neighbour who asked this nicely, if it didn't impose on my evening too much.
I'm glad you've found a solution and i hope it works well and this fixation breaks soon

No, nobody has made that comparison except you.

It's not 'batshit' to suggest not attempting to control your neighbour's behaviour. 🫣

‘Control’ - you’re so dramatic lol it’s a bloody suggestion that they could have just said won’t work for them. What’s with all the faux outrage?

Anyways I got to see Oasis live on Weds so nothings bringing me down this week 🤣🤣 cheeky GLOAT

Why the quotation marks? It IS a solution. Short of curing my son's autism, there is no perfect "solution"

Nope, not 'so dramatic'. Asking someone to open or close their curtains when you want them to is actually attenpting to control that aspect of their life. It's none of anyone else's business when they close or open their curtains