To ask neighbour to close curtains

[Handrearedmagpie]

First of all, I know IABU. It's more a question of HOW unreasonable.
My young DS is autistic, non speaking and has a severe learning disability. Meltdowns are triggered by sudden changes like adverts on the TV. Neighbour diagonally across street from me has very large windows and an ENORMOUS TV. Never shuts her curtains/blinds so DS can watch her TV from our house and fixates on it when his own tablet is removed before bedtime.
Every. Single. Night. It's meltdown when adverts appear on her TV. Obviously I shut our own blinds but he knows her TV is there and just opens them again, or he will go upstairs and hyper focus on her TV from my bedroom window.
How horrendously unreasonable would I be to ask her to close her blinds for half an hour at night just to avoid this nightly hysteria??! I'm at my wits end with it.
YABU - absolutely unreasonable. It's your child's disability to manage.
YANBU - you can only ask and see what she says.

Your original suggestion, which was the point of the thread, not your current 'solution'.

Is that what you think I’m referring to?

Trust me, I know more than you seem to realise about autism, and still realise that this is too big an ask of a neighbour.

I know what you're doing.

Sure you do.

Closing curtains isn’t a big ask. I’d do it if I was asked (but I’m not mad enough to have open curtains when watching TV)

No disability/vulnerability on part of neighbour. We chat approx weekly, I help her out with a particular issue regularly as good neighbours do.

I baffled. Can someone tell me why OP can't close her curtains instead??

I think it is very apparent what you know about Autism

It’s literally in her OP. You must be baffled very easily!

Cos he just opens them and the blinds.......despite wanting them shut whenever it's sunny!!

Again, asking your neighbour to close their curtains at a set time every night, just because it might make your life simpler, IS a big ask.
It's also not 'mad' to have your own curtains open when watching your own TV in your own house.

I'm not sure what you mean by that tbh.
It is apparent that you're making assumptions though.

Oh ok! Sorry I don't know how I missed that. Um, surely that's a you problem then? You can ask, but it's something you can resolve on your own

@LadyCankleOfGrantham

In warmer weather we leave the curtains open at night to cool the house down
Perhaps like us they prefer a cooler interior

‘That’s a you problem’ - do you not understand how patronising that is?

You and I must lead very different lives because to me it is quite the opposite of a “big ask”

Well no, because if the neighbour was making noise or something then that would be different but if she doesn't want to look at the TV she should just close her curtains. As I said she can ask, but this is one of the very rare cases I think the OP is being a bit unrelated to an "annoying" neighbour

It’s OPs child that is looking at the neighbours TV and the adverts are triggering him

Although I do agree it’s really up to OP to sort it out

This doesn't make you somehow better though - it's perfectly normal to have boundaries and to want you or your own family member to decide when your curtains are open or closed. Nobody here would try to dictate when a neighbour closes their curtains, yet we all get on well, help each other out, are kind, make allowances for kids, older folk, differently abled folk etc.

Yes I understand that, but that's why OP can sort it and close her curtains instead

Apparently the child just opens the curtains, but suggestions have been made regarding external options which OP could try, which the child presumably cannot access from indoors.

I didn’t say I was better, but in the world I inhabit, asking someone a small favour to make your life considerably easier isn’t about boundaries, it’s about asking for help.

OP said her child would headbutt the glass in frustration if he knew adverts were playing across the road

That was an 'suggestion', never the solution. I have now found a solution thanks to a suggestion on this thread. I have no idea why you feel the need to put it in quotations, it's not for you to decide if it is an acceptable solution or not.

Again, having to close your curtains at a set time every single night is potentially quite a big ask for most people. It's the responsibility associated with being forced to stick to someone else's schedule, having to remember or set an alarm, actually being around to do it, reducing light/enjoyment/relaxation in your own home. Nobody here would dream of that sort of imposition, despite happily making other accommodations as already explained.