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Please tell me times where you've got the ick with a guy

1000 replies

yeahhhhmate · 31/07/2025 21:07

Lighthearted!! Just that really. I love hearing these

ill start:

went on a date with someone and we played shuffleboard and after every turn of his he would loudly exclaim 'GO ON THE TSG' (his initials) he also did it after random sentences like 'I'll get this drink, YES THE TSG)

another guy would say WOOP WOOP and BOOM after every sentence. He ordered a steak and said to the waiter 'I'm going to have the steak please, well done, (another ick) WOOP WOOP

Another guy we were DTD and he kept thrusting in a complete circular motion and I quite literally dried up and left

another DTD time and the guys top lip and nostrils would spasm / quiver - I could get past that though.

please tell me yours, I could do with a laugh!

OP posts:
ForQuirkyFawn · 02/08/2025 03:58

Reading all these messages and it's making me piss myself, not literally, but what about the women who men got the ick with....there must be some, somewhere....

ImGoneUnderground · 02/08/2025 04:23

cadburyegg · 31/07/2025 21:29

One guy took me to the Little Chef on the first date.

Another one started bombarding me with texts a couple of days before our first date.
I just want to cuddle you.
I don’t want anyone else to find out how cute you are.
I don’t want anyone to steal you away.

I cancelled the date.

Edited

eek.....oh my - little Chef???? How were the chips???

ImGoneUnderground · 02/08/2025 04:31

ForQuirkyFawn · 02/08/2025 03:58

Reading all these messages and it's making me piss myself, not literally, but what about the women who men got the ick with....there must be some, somewhere....

A mate had a 'date' with a 'lady' who just spoke about all her previous 'experiences' - they all sounded the same, so guess she just thought she was right that they didn't like her talking about her tena pants....and she would be 'back in a minute'???

YerArseInParsley · 02/08/2025 05:17

I can't believe I'm actually going to post this.

When I was at college I made a new group of friends from another town and we would go out every Saturday night.

One night I met this guy and all I could remember about him is he had gorgeous piercing blue eyes and an English accent, yes we did kiss and I was drunk. We exchanged numbers.

Days later we arranged to meet in my town for a drink.

As soon as he walked towards me I was thinking oh no. It was his walk, the way he greeted me and he was wearing a big blue wooly fleece your granda would wear

Anyway, in the pub we are chatting and having a drink and he said can you excuse me for a minute if that's OK with you, I said sure. I'm sitting there for about 15 minutes wondering if he's doing a sh!t or a runner. I get up and look round the corner and he's playing a puggy machine. He comes back and we move onto another pub were I suggest we sit at a table in the corner away from everyone else. Then he starts saying things like we can go on holiday, I said sorry I can't afford to go on holiday and he asks if I mind if he goes with his friends and he won't cheat. He keeps repeating these things over and over.

He then tells when when he's with his friends he likes to take his clothes off, slide down the stairs whilst saying EEK EEK in a squeaky voice. He then goes to the toilet and I see a couple sitting not to far away and I'm sure they must have heard him talking, I was so embarrassed. I went and spoke to that couple and they admitted they hear the conversation and couldn't stop laughing.

He came back from the toilet and I told him I needed to go home. I walked him to the train station and as I left him on the platform he was shouting come to mine at the weekend and we can play records. Me shouting back yeah no bother and him repeating it until I was out of sight. There were other people at the station and I was mortified. I will admit, I cried with embarrassment when I got home.

It turns out I was out on a date with the local clown that also had mental health problems. Something my new friends didn't tell me about. Apparently his parents phoned round all the local pubs asking them not to serve him.

This is something I can laugh about now but it was horrendous at the time. My mum asked if I was going to see him again. I absolutely did not tell them about this date, even to date I've never told them.

Oh, and he never had an English accent that's something he does i think cause he likes to pretend he's a sailor. The town he's from there's lots of sailors and marines.

Anyone that knows this story will know it's me, the details are so outing 😬

I can laugh now🤣

YerArseInParsley · 02/08/2025 05:50

I can't believe I'm actually going to post this.

When I was at college I made a new group of friends from another town and we would go out every Saturday night.

One night I met this guy and all I could remember about him is he had gorgeous piercing blue eyes and an English accent, yes we did kiss and I was drunk. We exchanged numbers.

Days later we arranged to meet in my town for a drink.

As soon as he walked towards me I was thinking oh no. It was his walk, the way he greeted me and he was wearing a big blue wooly fleece your granda would wear

Anyway, in the pub we are chatting and having a drink and he said can you excuse me for a minute if that's OK with you, I said sure. I'm sitting there for about 15 minutes wondering if he's doing a sh!t or a runner. I get up and look round the corner and he's playing a puggy machine. He comes back and we move onto another pub were I suggest we sit at a table in the corner away from everyone else. Then he starts saying things like we can go on holiday, I said sorry I can't afford to go on holiday and he asks if I mind if he goes with his friends and he won't cheat. He keeps repeating these things over and over.

He then tells when when he's with his friends he likes to take his clothes off, slide down the stairs whilst saying EEK EEK in a squeaky voice. He then goes to the toilet and I see a couple sitting not to far away and I'm sure they must have heard him talking, I was so embarrassed. I went and spoke to that couple and they admitted they hear the conversation and couldn't stop laughing.

He came back from the toilet and I told him I needed to go home. I walked him to the train station and as I left him on the platform he was shouting come to mine at the weekend and we can play records. Me shouting back yeah no bother and him repeating it until I was out of sight. There were other people at the station and I was mortified. I will admit, I cried with embarrassment when I got home.

It turns out I was out on a date with the local clown that also had mental health problems. Something my new friends didn't tell me about. Apparently his parents phoned round all the local pubs asking them not to serve him.

This is something I can laugh about now but it was horrendous at the time. My mum asked if I was going to see him again. I absolutely did not tell them about this date, even to date I've never told them.

Oh, and he never had an English accent that's something he does i think cause he likes to pretend he's a sailor. The town he's from there's lots of sailors and marines.

Anyone that knows this story will know it's me, the details are so outing 😬

I can laugh now🤣

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 06:23

alcoholfreelife · 31/07/2025 22:51

I met a guy in a pizza restaurant for a first date ( it was the closest restaurant to where I was ) we sat down started chatting, ordered drinks then the waitress came back asked for our order, I ordered my pizza and he turned to me and said “looking like you do why don’t you order a salad” I was a size 10, there’s wasn’t a second date oh and he also asked me for petrol money because he had driven to meet me!!!! And yes this is absolutely true..

What a wanker.

BellissimoGecko · 02/08/2025 06:36

InstantIck2 · 31/07/2025 21:24

DTD - started yelling “Receive my di*ck. RECEIVE IT” repeatedly throughout

😮😮🙄

mrschocolatte · 02/08/2025 06:52

WiggyClawsThe2nd · 02/08/2025 00:14

Oh dear. I think this is my XH. 🤢

If it is the same man then you have my sympathy 💐

BellissimoGecko · 02/08/2025 06:53

VanessaFence · 31/07/2025 23:06

At the end of a date he stands behind me, puts his arms around my waist, looks up at the sky and whispers "look at the stars...aren't they beautiful?"

What’s wrong with that? I love looking at the stars.

Ifeelbroken · 02/08/2025 07:27

MoonWoman69 · 01/08/2025 20:59

These have had me alternating between howling with laughter and being horrified! Brilliant thread!

So mine are -

The bloke I lost my virginity to, suddenly took every opportunity to argue that women "couldn't piss and shit" at the same time, it was physically and medically impossible. I argued to the contrary a few times and then I suddenly realised he wanted me to "prove" it was possible! I was out of there straight away, when the penny dropped! Thankfully we hadn't been together long!

At 18, I had acquired a very intense friend through college, who very clearly had a massive crush on me.
She had a boyfriend, I was single at the time. The 3 of us were together at his flat and it was kind of edging towards a threesome. (That was ok, as I class myself as bisexual and at that age, I was horny and up for anything!) Except, when she leaned across to free him from his boxers, she said "Mmm, Moonwoman, smell that! I love the smell of his cock"! It was the wrong time to point out that cocks shouldn't actually smell, so I gathered my stuff together, made an excuse and left. We never spoke after that!

In my 19th year, a bloke from my local, that had become a good mate, invited me back to his for a coffee after the pub shut one night. He grabbed me and started kissing me passionately! I was pushing him off, telling him I didn't see him in that way. We were laughing and joking all the while. He'd say ok, then pounce again. (I didn't feel unsafe at all, I just found it hysterical that he was trying so hard! I really wasn't into him sexually, he knew it, but was trying to convince me that I was, but that I was denying myself!) We were rolling around on the floor, me laughing, him trying to seduce me. I said I wanted the coffee he promised me. So he got up to put the kettle on, then appeared from the kitchen, minus his lower clothes and he had the biggest erection I've ever seen in my life! It was huge and just there, bobbing up and down! That gave me the immediate ick, so I made a quick excuse about suddenly having a dodgy stomach and left!

And definitely the worst one. Last ex who I was in a relationship with for over 2 years, set to get engaged, had a thing about white knickers. Me wearing them was a real turn on for him. And as I had a few pairs in my collection, I was happy to oblige, the sex was great with him and that just ramped it up.
Until one Sunday afternoon. He lived with his parents and I used to stay over on a weekend. He had a massive family, who were always all coming and going all weekend.
Me, him and his mum were all sat in the living room and I was waiting for my taxi home. His 5 year old niece was round, as she only lived a few doors up. She was showing her grandma how she'd learnt to do handstands. I looked at my ex in horror, as I realised he had the biggest hard on. His niece was wearing white knickers! I got up and went out to wait for my taxi. No amount of him telling me that it wasn't her, it was the white knickers, washed with me. I was done. That was treble ick territory for me. Even though I knew for a fact he had no attraction to children, I couldn't and didn't want to get past that.

😮 I have no words

Ifeelbroken · 02/08/2025 07:43

This is another one, my current partner has a thing for dildos. One night I knew what he was hinting at and I felt in the mood too so I went in to bathroom to refresh myself and in there he’d lined up every single dildo we own. Legit about 6 of them.
I was suddenly not in the mood anymore and didn’t fancy being used as a pornstar.
Ive since spoke to him about it and it hasn’t happened since but it was a huge massive turn off from me and if I wasn’t with this man for many years I would of fucked him off 🤢

Katemax82 · 02/08/2025 08:11

SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 01/08/2025 21:51

If you would care to suggest a better way to negotiate my female dominated home when I need the loo in the middle of the night I'm all ears!

A fig leaf?

Katemax82 · 02/08/2025 08:15

Liveinthewoods80 · 01/08/2025 22:35

What a pig!
I went on a date one time with someone who went on and on about how gorgeous the women are in Newcastle upon Tyne, and that men should get themselves there to bag one. I'm not from Newcastle.😂

Pity the Geordie women having to put up with the likes of him. Naturally, never saw him again.

Edited

Was he called carl?

SebastianFlytesTrousers · 02/08/2025 08:26

When I went to a date's flat after seeing him a few times and he told me his Mum had been round earlier to tidy it up especially. It rang alarm bells.

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 02/08/2025 08:30

I had one guy (holiday fling) who was getting closer to orgasm and started yelling
"Yes, that's it I'M THE KING, I'M THE KING!" over and over again 🙈

Another one we were at a fancy dress new years eve party and just as I was getting close to orgasm, he stopped completely because "Hang on, I've lost my Bob the builder hat!" (not a euphemism!)

A guy I briefly dated but got the ick before we slept together was lovely, but everytime he stood still, he pointed one foot/toe out to the side like a ballerina 😂 I just couldn't get past it.

Whattodonext101 · 02/08/2025 08:38

My ex used to scream “PLAY WITH MY NIPPLES” and then when he would finish his face looked like he was taking a massive shit

TeachMeSomething · 02/08/2025 08:48

Loving these although I've now got 'Don't wanna miss a thing' as an earworm and probably will have for the next week.

Flomingho · 02/08/2025 09:00

Randomly turning up at places where I would be with my friends on a night out and following me to the next place. Bye bye.....

Goldie7878 · 02/08/2025 09:23

I went on a date to a French restaurant. He insisted on paying, despite me offering to pay my share, but he wouldn't. Then he brought out a huge manilla envelope full of coins and told me he'd emptied his piggy bank. The coins bounced and scattered all over the table and the floor. On the walk home, we passed some lovely gardens and he then proceeded to yank a massive flower off a bush and tuck it behind my ear and I felt so bad about it all that I just walked along with this giant head sized flower tucked behind my ear. Then he pointed out 5 or 6 different cloud types in the sky. He asked me back to his (why did I go?!) he lived with his parents and when I went in the living room, there was a photo of Diana in there in a frame which said "Merci Paris". 😫 I left very quickly.

Mistyglade · 02/08/2025 09:28

Festivespirit85 · 02/08/2025 02:20

The first thing that came to mind with your exH is autism?

As for the clagnut guy, that is fucking grim. Did you puke on him?

He absolutely was not autistic.

Lucelady · 02/08/2025 09:29

oldmanandtheangel · 31/07/2025 22:02

'Wichard' would also make any food sound proper dirty..this was the 90s so long before Nigella.. eg 'this is soooo cweamy....'

Was this a Cotswold boy?

I had one ask me if I'd like a hot sperm injection as I mentioned I was feeling poorly. I actually laughed.

ConnieHeart · 02/08/2025 09:36

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 02/08/2025 08:30

I had one guy (holiday fling) who was getting closer to orgasm and started yelling
"Yes, that's it I'M THE KING, I'M THE KING!" over and over again 🙈

Another one we were at a fancy dress new years eve party and just as I was getting close to orgasm, he stopped completely because "Hang on, I've lost my Bob the builder hat!" (not a euphemism!)

A guy I briefly dated but got the ick before we slept together was lovely, but everytime he stood still, he pointed one foot/toe out to the side like a ballerina 😂 I just couldn't get past it.

I assume you sneaked off to have sex at the party?

Crazymayfly · 02/08/2025 09:36

The London eye men - were any called Andrew? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I swear several of these descriptions could be him….

silkypyjamas · 02/08/2025 09:36

My boyfriend gives me the ick when he wears his football shirt on holiday is it enough to dump him? I’ve carried this with me for a while now please help 😩

yeahhhhmate · 02/08/2025 09:37

Crazymayfly · 02/08/2025 09:36

The London eye men - were any called Andrew? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I swear several of these descriptions could be him….

Gulp...
if he's in the south east I will spontaneously combust 🤣

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