Please tell me times where you've got the ick with a guy

[yeahhhhmate]

Lighthearted!! Just that really. I love hearing these

ill start:

went on a date with someone and we played shuffleboard and after every turn of his he would loudly exclaim 'GO ON THE TSG' (his initials) he also did it after random sentences like 'I'll get this drink, YES THE TSG)

another guy would say WOOP WOOP and BOOM after every sentence. He ordered a steak and said to the waiter 'I'm going to have the steak please, well done, (another ick) WOOP WOOP

Another guy we were DTD and he kept thrusting in a complete circular motion and I quite literally dried up and left

another DTD time and the guys top lip and nostrils would spasm / quiver - I could get past that though.

please tell me yours, I could do with a laugh!

The one who offered me his wellies to wear so he could shag me over the patio furniture in 2'' of snow.

My ex (the tired teddy) used to say "thanks for that, that was lovely" after sex until I told him to stop.

I have absolutely no idea what I was doing with him.

Brilliant! 😅

The work colleague I fancied who once came back from the toilet smelling of shit. How bad does it need to smell to stick to your clothes 🤔

I'm still chuckling at "toenails that would rival an owl." 😂😂
I had a few dates with someone, and he had a really long nail on a big toe. 🤢🤢
When I saw him the following week, I mentioned that he hadn't cut his loooong nail. He was really surprised and asked why he should have? He could have used it to plant bulbs in the ground. 🤭😂

My ex would take selfies and pout, unironically.

A good few years ago now I met a bloke at a friend's birthday party, we got on really well and exchanged numbers that night. Texting for about a week all very pleasant and quite flirty, we started to arrange to meet up until he sent me a picture of himself with his tongue out with the line "do you want this around your ham flaps" with a winking face! Said nah mate your ok and never spoke to him again! 😅😅😅

Absolutely loving these! Also good to know that it's not just me! I could write a book about dating after divorce. First date with someone. Met up at fancy country pub of his choice. He pointed out that it was private function and we should sit away from the guests and not engage with anyone. I exclaimed that i didn't realise that his hair was naturally curly? He replied that he "just has a light perm." Absolutely NO idea why, but I went back to his place (in my own car) Sat on sofa, glass of orange juice. He said that he was going to get a jumper. He was gone AGES. He entered living room without the aforementioned jumper. Wearing sheer ladies knickers and a white French maid's pinny. 😂🤣🤣🤣 I laughed and howled with tears streaming. He was offended. Later on...(I know) i have NO excuses. DTD and he kept asking me if I liked his nightie he was wearing? 😂🤣🤣
M and S size 16 hanging on door in morning.
When he went to the loo, I looked in his drawers. No boxers. Just white ladies knickers. OMG. 😬
Not me, but long time friend. One night DTD with husband, at erm 'his moment', he shouted out, "Don't tell them your name Pike."

What the hell is a sex box????

The days of dial up internet and online dating in the very early 2000s. My Mum wanted me to meet someone and so I went on a website and several first dates…
R was 42 (I was 24) and we met at a country pub. I looked everywhere for him and thought he had stood me up when I noticed a very short man in a startling pink shirt was hanging around the entrance and yes it was him. He had already emailed me photos of his house and his mother. No idea why!
The Ick Factor level rose steadily as he kept trying to hold my hand and kiss me. He had one of those leather coin purses and then began trapping wasps under an ashtray and beating them to death. He was a foot shorter than his OLD profile. He was very very creepy, so much so that after the ordeal of the meal he said we could go for “a nice walk in the country”. I knew I’d probably not make it back alive as he had serial killer vibes. I ran off to my car round the other side of the pub, hid in the passenger footwell for 20 minutes during which time a nice older lady spotted me in there and I smiled and gave her a thumbs up. I then drove a very convoluted route home in case I was being followed. BLOCKED!
Another OLD - we swapped phone numbers, he would phone me and it would sound like he had ran a marathon and there was an intermittent slapping noise. I finally realised what the slapping noise was to my abject horror when it reached a crescendo. I suggested he phone an adults only chat service. BLOCKED

Did he follow the words with his finger as he read? Lick his index and thumb before turning a page? Oh my, I love this thread! 🤣

I’d been on a couple of dates with him and couldn’t make my mind up about whether I liked him or not. I decided to deploy the MN shag on the 3rd date rule which would be the decider for me. Now he had no idea that was my plan, for all he knew we were just going to have a drink and say goodbye.

Invited him back to mine and got naked in bed, only to discover he was wearing a cock ring. I had no idea how on earth he’d managed to sneak that on, or whether it was something he always wore, just in case 🤷‍♀️. The ick was setting in fast right then for me. He had a large but not particularly hard penis. I politely went through the motions, it was very underwhelming, knowing that this would be the first and last time.

I gently let him down the next day, and then proceeded to get a series of many page long love letters from him, about how he’d never felt like this about anyone and that night had been the best sex of his life. I was so confused, I’d been there too and trust me it was pretty shit. I also got a large and very expensive bunch of flowers delivered. The letters kept coming even though I asked him not to contact me again, eventually I threatened to call the police and he finally stopped.

He was called Ben and he called his penis “Little Ben” 🤮 if he wanted time on his own ie not doing things together like he would call it “Benny time”. God knows why he thought I’d wanted to spend every hour of every day with him. I don’t like anyone that much.

I went to pick him up from the airport and he walked through the doors he was wearing sunglasses with yellow tinted glass in them. He looked like such a twat Ali G.
There was more but that was the final ick.

When I managed to finally call it a day with him (he wasn’t taking no for an answer for quite a while and the police had to get involved due to harassment) he wrote a massive long letter (6 sides of A4) telling me exactly what all my failings were and how he had tried to be ‘the best boyfriend he could be’ but I had ‘destroyed him’, how crap I was in bed and how he hoped my next boyfriend would hit me because I would deserve it. He was also going to propose apparently but I “wouldn’t shut up for long enough so we could reach that level”. I’m still not entirely sure what that meant but 🤷‍♀️ lucky escape.

This letter had been printed off and put in to a plastic presentation folder. Obvs so I could keep it.

And then he wondered why I didn’t want to get back together with him…

He’s married with kids now. He was horrible.

This reminds me of the one who said he’d only stay with me if I wrote an action plan about how I was going to improve myself to bring me up to his standards 🤣. Umm yeah byeeee then 👋

There are also some great reasons on this thread.

to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship | Mumsnet

An adult Man farted (silently) and confessed he'd 'made a smell'. Come the fuck on. Fart aloud and say excuse me, surely.

On a date with a bit of a bit of a cheeky bloke type and it's gone pretty well. Good looking, pretty intelligent, actually asked questions and listened to my answers... and I'm thinking, yep.

We ask for the bill and date asks the waiter if they sell cans of coke that and can he have a couple to go. I think it's a bit of an odd request but whatever. Waiter brings bill and two cans of coke. Date stacks one on top of the other and leans back in his seat.

"I wanna fucking bang ya, and I think you feel the same, so i just thought I'd better warn you what you were in for". At this point he glances at the stacked cans and does a knowing nod.

I don't say anything and he just continues to nod adding "Yes. That big. Are you ready for me girl?"

I politely inform him that I am, infact, not remotely ready and offer to pay half the bill.

Another guy who I'd liked for a while and shared flirty texts and a couple of dates with. Finally got naked and he had the most pencil thin dick you can imagine. I couldn't look at it, but then had to slyly take odd glances to confirm what i was actually seeing. He spent the whole time apologizing for it but also trying to up-sell it's better qualities "I'm sorry it's so thin but it does have really good staying power." and "God I bet you can't even feel it can you? Not because of you - you're perfect - but because it's so skinny. But it's quite a nice shape I think. And nice skin tone".

In the end I told him it was pretty normal (it wasn't) and he needed to make peace with it. He burst into tears and kept thanking me. Couldn't get out fast enough.

Upsell 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am literally crying at this one.

Said 'pacific' when he meant 'specific.' Not on my watch.

lol, i'm Male but i agree with most of these icks, I would bounce real quick if confronted with those haha..

One at university that wouldn't let me out of his room after a night out. I only managed to escape as other lads along the corridor knocked on his door asking what was going on, I think they knew he was a bit odd but he didn't come across like that at all.

Second one was a when I was early 20s, I'd only met up about three times, when it was time to go home on the last meet up, we lived in very different directions to where the venue was and after I had said, "goodnight", he told me that I wasn't walking home on my own and I certainly wasn't going to the local Tesco that I'd alluded to. He kept saying, "do you think I'm going to let you do that". It was lateish but I was used to walking home alone and if he'd offered, fair enough but the language of letting me do something, no thanks!

That actually made me snort

I get similar at work when I ask for postcodes
“TR1 6SF”
me “was that S for Sierra and F for foxtrot?”
< sigh > “NO I said T… long pause… R… long pause”
YES I GOT THAT BIT!
or people just yell “I said SF”
saying it louder isn’t helping!

I know, hmm lip scum 🤮

My fanny just dried up, crystallised and then disintegrated in a puff of ick reading this!