Please tell me times where you've got the ick with a guy

[yeahhhhmate]

Lighthearted!! Just that really. I love hearing these

ill start:

went on a date with someone and we played shuffleboard and after every turn of his he would loudly exclaim 'GO ON THE TSG' (his initials) he also did it after random sentences like 'I'll get this drink, YES THE TSG)

another guy would say WOOP WOOP and BOOM after every sentence. He ordered a steak and said to the waiter 'I'm going to have the steak please, well done, (another ick) WOOP WOOP

Another guy we were DTD and he kept thrusting in a complete circular motion and I quite literally dried up and left

another DTD time and the guys top lip and nostrils would spasm / quiver - I could get past that though.

please tell me yours, I could do with a laugh!

Long time ago... been seeing a guy for a few dates. First time we DTD, afterwards lying in bed he was shaking and screwing up his eyes and there were tears. I imagined it was all just fab or something.
Then he said ... sorry sorry, that was so wonderful, it just reminded me of Jayne my ex, she was wonderful too and I miss her!
WTAF

No more dates 🤣

This is the thread, where the laughing emoji really IS missed 😆 🤣

My (male) flatmate pulled an absolutely beautiful Northern girl. Every time they had sex she’d yell, “Pump me! Pump me!” (Pronounced “poomp”).

Devastating for him, but fucking hilarious for the rest of us 😂

I don’t think men get it like women get it.
They would pretty much put up with anything just to get a ride, but I feel when women get repulsed on a deeper level, then they can’t have sex with them again once this happens.

Said ‘exsqueeze me’ instead of ‘excuse me’, it made me heave 😂

Sweet Jesus and the orphans

Oh heck... another one...

Dated a guy, went away for a night together, first time
I woke in the middle of the night and stirred and opened my eyes. He was propped up on his elbow just staring at me. And I said 'what are you doing'. He said he'd been staring at me all night because he didn't want to miss one minute of looking at me.

Last date. And my gut feeling was right, he turned a bit stalker.

'I am well on my way to becoming an Ascended Master'

No wonder Jayne left him if he cried after every ride 😂

I had one short-lived romance with a man whose wife had left him for a man at work 8 years previously and he talked constantly about their wedding and showed me all their holiday photos.

😂😂😂😂

We where in bed together,about to do the deed when he leant over the side of the bed and whipped out the biggest,flesh coloured vibe I've ever seen (my eyes still water at the thought of it-i didnt know they made them that big)
It belonged to his ex wife apparently
'i'll give it a bit of a wipe if you like'

I went back to another chaps flat and he must have got changed before coming out to see me
He'd left his jeans and pants on the floor-they where covered in shit-it was like he'd farted,followed through and not stopped
He honestly expected me to get fruity,right next to the shit covered clothes

Another date had a voice like Donald duck

And another fella I went on a date with told me ten minutes in I had to follow his rules if I wanted 'more of him'
It seemed to be along the lines of 'no male friends'
'I'll vet your female friends'
'You'll allow me near your kids on the next date'
'You are to give up work and I'll support you'
'Your not to get fatter than you are-in fact,you need to lose 4 stone'
'You will run around after me at all times'
I got the fuck out of there as soon as I could

😂😂😂 Did you respond with “ RECEIVED WITH THANKS”!!!

Also a 🤢 emoji.

A friend dated a guy for a while and he seemed friendly and chatty anytime we met him. Then friend let slip that the sex was weird because he’d go completely silent and just stare straight ahead throughout the event every single time. I couldn’t look him in the eye after she told us that! Anytime I see him around town (very small town) I think “oh there’s the guy that goes weirdly quiet and starey during sex!” I shouldn’t know this about him! 😆

🤣🤣🤣

I was in shock! Also desperately trying not to laugh.

When a man hugs me from behind - it makes me think of the 'broke boyfriend hug' and I just can't get past it 🙃

On a date with a guy, having a kiss at the end of the night and his lips were cold. It was a cold night TBF but I think he must have died a few hours earlier but tried to play it off like he was still living. Cold, clammy... Just fucking awful.

Another had a 6 pack, the first night together, he wanted me to cuddle him in. Was like cuddling up to an ironing board. That's when I realised I wasn't in to super slim guys.

OLD. He told me he was 5'8, same as me. When we went to meet up, I'd walked right past him. Didn't realise until this 5'4 guy put his arm around me... Spent the rest of the day with him feeling like I was walking around with my son. Who was 10 at the time. I did start to find him cute as the day went on but I think that was more motherly than intimately. Wouldn't have cared less if he'd just been honest

I hate that.

😆😆😆

<sings> 🎶 “And I don’t want to miss a thiiiiing” 🎶

Aerosmith have a lot to answer for 😡

I said he was too recently separated from his ex … who he had a child with so she must have received at least once 😂

Do you mean Brokeback Mountain hug? Can you explain a bit, I’d say mine is another version of it. It’s grasping/rubbing their fingers on my back. I absolutely hate it.

2nd date he came to my flat that I shared with my friend. We got a takeaway and put on a film to watch. All 3 of us chipped in for the chinese and he served himself first, I kid you not he ate nearly ALL of it, piling his plate high and left us the scraps.

Then during the film, he SOBBED and I mean proper booing (it was Marley and Me) and my friend and I exchanged looks like wtf. He then said "hold me" to comfort him!!

Good lord I couldn't get shot of him quick enough! Gave me and my friend a great laugh though.