Please tell me times where you've got the ick with a guy

[yeahhhhmate]

Lighthearted!! Just that really. I love hearing these

ill start:

went on a date with someone and we played shuffleboard and after every turn of his he would loudly exclaim 'GO ON THE TSG' (his initials) he also did it after random sentences like 'I'll get this drink, YES THE TSG)

another guy would say WOOP WOOP and BOOM after every sentence. He ordered a steak and said to the waiter 'I'm going to have the steak please, well done, (another ick) WOOP WOOP

Another guy we were DTD and he kept thrusting in a complete circular motion and I quite literally dried up and left

another DTD time and the guys top lip and nostrils would spasm / quiver - I could get past that though.

please tell me yours, I could do with a laugh!

He invited me to "taste his love wand". I politely declined.

This wasn’t the ick but more a case of running for the hills! I’d been getting on famously with a guy on the phone until he said “ Let’s meet in the afternoon because I’m calmer then”!

See, that would have been my ideal date 😂Horses for courses, innit!

My husband gets VERY short shrift if he does this. It's just VILE.

Absolutely howling at these 😂

I was DTD with a guy who thought it was the height of eroticism to rub his entire forehead around my lady garden. He emerged, glistening, and looking very pleased with himself.

Another guy placed a new towel (he made a special point of telling me it was new) on the bed for me to lie on to "catch drips". Also referred to his penis as "he", as in "He likes it in there".

All different men:

He sang along to songs while gazing at me earnestly, replacing words here and there to fit our situation/location. I think the one that really ended any attraction I ever had for him was when he sang 'Meet me tonight down in London City' to the Bruce Springsteen line 'Meet me tonight in Atlantic City'. He also leaned back in his chair, shook his head, smirked and said 'You can't bullshit a bullshitter, sweetheart', as if he was some kind of urban hustler from a shit gangster film rather than an area manager for Carphone Warehouse.

It was the mid-1990s and he turned up for our date sucking on a Push Pop lolly despite being 22 years old. Also it had turned his tongue blue.

He had a large framed poster on his bedroom wall of a black and white photo of three busty models, ultra-toned, oiled, pouting and lifting weights, captioned 'DETERMINATION' in a very serious font. He was in his late 30s.

We went for a meal and he described his food as 'yummy'.

He was nervous of pigeons.

DH bent down this morning to put his boots on and I thought it's now or never...

I thrust behind him shouting RECEIVE MY DICK, RECEIVE IT.

It turns out that he did indeed, not want to receive my (imaginary) dick 🤣

He was nervous of pigeons

I'm finished 💀 🤣🤣

My friend went off someone when she saw he had red sheets.

I find the coarse, crude language some men use about sex is a real turnoff. Once I was getting undressed and the guy saw the size of my breasts and begged, "Aww, please can I have a tit wank, please?" Just the thing to get me going. Of course I got dressed again and left. But another guy, another time, right in the middle of it, gestured to his cock and said, "Come on, darlin', gissa gobble." I froze. He asked me what was the matter. I asked him did he really have to talk like that. His erection was gone now. I got up and silently got dressed and as I did so, he said something that the hopeful tit wanker had said - "But I thought you were a woman of the world."

🤣🤣🤣

Haha I feel the same about pointy men! A pointy allegedly hot guy visited our office, my colleagues were feeling shy so I thought I'd start chatting to him and then introduce them. Turns out he had a pointy face AND a weird high pitched voice.

Well and truly hooked on this thread 😂 these are all different men:

• first date, guy asked me if I’d ever had any Botox or cosmetic procedures, replied no, then proceeded to tell me he had. Lifted up his top to show me his pecs then said ‘kiss it,’ I said no put my shoes on and made a very sharp exit 😂

• another first date, he walked me to my bus stop, I got on my bus, politely said goodbye to each other, I knew I didn’t want to see him again. Rings me like 2 minutes later frantically and breathlessly asking me where I am and that he doesn’t want the date to end, he wants to spend more time with me, erm, sorry I’m already on the bus I’m not getting off 🤣

•oh another first date! We’d had about 3 drinks (2 were very weak cocktails) halfway through the date he suddenly kept coming and going to the toilet and drinking glass after glass of water, he admitted he hadn’t drank alcohol in a year and he felt tipsy, major ick 😂

•referred to the g-spot as ‘the pearl’ in a ridiculous American accent

•wanted me to call him ‘papi’ during sex 🤢

•when speaking to a guy on a dating app, he referred to my butt hole as ‘my back door’ DELETED

•on a dating app again, exchanged no more than two messages then he messages me saying ‘I’d love to hold you in my arms and feel you really close to my chest’ DELETED

@InstantIck2 i had something similar. Had been seeing the guy just over a month. Few mins in to it he starts saying i’m the best, i’m the best you’ve ever had repeatedly. I ended up having to push him off got up told him ‘you’re really not’ grab my clothes n left 🤦🏾‍♀️

I'm gay and now trying to think of the name for one for lesbians too.

Clamstagram

Clit Advisor?

It says a lot about me, I've just discovered, that I've had the ick any number of times and thought that it was just me being picky. I think I need to up my game as far as self respect is concerned. Anyway, for your amusement (and for keeping me entertained on a 'nervous about something' day) here are a few icks.

1. I picked up a towel at his, to use after I'd washed my face. It was crunchy.

2. Dog treats under the pillow (he had a dog, but still.)

3. 'Some people like...' (anal, licking nutella off his dick, shaving all of their pubic area) Yes, but I don't. Actually the pubes thing - I am groomed, but not shaved. My body my choice. His comment - " did you know that these days most people shave it all off?" he was actually a lovely bloke, but we were absolutely not compatible sexually.

4. "I'm plugging into warmth, security and love..." This was just after we married. The childishness of it ...instant ick.

Anybody who assumes that sex will be like porn.

So far, 21 pages of personality disorders, disordered thinking, obsessive behaviour, poor to none at all hygiene, lies, derogatory remarks,delusions, crass remarks, meanness, parsimony, crude speech and behaviour, self sabotage, untrained weak bladders, gross habits, immature slobby,passing for normal, loser grown men, just awful, shudder shudder

Oh, I'd forgotten this one, when I was about 17, a bloke took me out to a really posh cocktail bar (I was impressed) then spent the entire evening saying how much he missed his ex. Ghastly. Still, the cocktails were fun. Never saw him again.

@AMurderofMurderingCrows

My husband always bums me every time I bend over. It's a long running joke in our house. Yes we are very childish.

@BauhausOfEliott firstly truly excellent username

I do this to my cat to REM Man on The Moon (Cat on the Moon) but I would never do it to a partner 🤣🤣🤣

Went on a date with a guy who wanted me to be impressed with his job (ick), but I had to guess what it was.
His hint was that he wears a wig.
I replied 'drag queen?'
'it start with a B'
'Burlesque drag queen?'

To his credit he did chuckle. No further dates.

Foofo

A gem from POF….

Arrived to find a man 15 years older than his photo. We were both supposed to be late 20’s.

He was a musician. Toured with famous bands.

Bought me a pint, talked about himself for an hour and as I was using the thinking time to plan my exit, he sealed the deal…..

’When you are touring it’s just super attractive models, dying for a piece of you but now I’m a bit older and dating off the road you’ve got to lower your standards and go for someone normal, do you know what I mean?’