Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

[Westendgoer]

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

I don't think its demanding for him to choose a nice ring, demanding a certain price is way off! It's just about putting some effort in proposing. I don't even use social media so have no one to show off to. A PP said he proposed without a ring, it's like did he even try?

Not simple to me! Candles and decorations and favourite takeaway without discussing it would have been all faff and cringy to me. Not to lots of people and that's fine for them. But not liking any of that stuff doesn't mean low standards, just different preferences.

Thanks for confirming you are trolling.

Loads of people don't have a ring ready and waiting. My perspective from knowing him - he cared enough that he wanted me to have input into the ring that I would be wearing for the rest of my life rather than deciding something so important on my behalf.

Low standards...oh my goodness.
Different standards from you, maybe, but low is a bit harsh.
And a marriage of 35 years is not to be sniffed at.

I listed my favourite things, are you really that dense? Your partner should pick your fave activites, what you like to do - not what a random poster says on anon forum to do. I didn't in no way say every person on this planet earth should propose like that. Not propose out of shower, how is that thoughtful?

But you had low standards to accept that proposal, so that shows you would stay with him for this long as you don't have higher expectations for yourself?

Of course people propose without a ring. They can go and choose it together afrer.

Its trolling to expect a partner to buy a ring? Wow.

Lol ok, I'm out. This is so sad.

I’ve been happily married for 26 years and still don’t have an engagement ring…

He did, by making it zero fuss and no occasion. Which you insisted meant I had low standards.

I would rather choose it myself, if I'm wearing it for ever! God knows what I may be given!

It is trolling to imply that you can judge the character of someone as not caring because they proposed spontaneously without a ring.

But, you need a "RING" to propose - that's the point of proposing?

I feel the same as this post explains. I also reckon the bride is upset & has spoken to the friends who have mentioned it to you. They were right to make you aware (assuming you care about your friend).

I proposed to DH… should I have made sure I had an engagement ring for him?

You said it better than me.

Yes

Something pretty with a nice diamond?

No, it isn't. It is asking someone if they will marry you. It is proposing marriage, not presenting a ring. The ring is just a symbol.

I bet there is correlation between how "insta worthy" the proposal was, and divorce rate.

I am actually shocked real people are admitting to being so shallow about proposals. As long as it's not on the wedding day itself, it really doesn't matter. But I (like most normal people) tend to find joy in my friends happy moments, not drag them down for it.

And? Your marriage is off to a rocky start if your wedding day can only be enjoyed if all of your 100 guests are banned from any important life event any time near it.

And also, ordering a take away and lighting candles isn't special. We light candles almost nightly and take away once a week. Someone thinking how much they love you and just blurting out they want to marry you, that's genuine.

lol is all I have to say

I think this poster is just trolling at this point. Must not have gotten the proposal they wanted.

I think it's good manners not to announce your engagement (or pregnancy) at someone else's wedding. Even if the bride doesn't mind. Although you got engaged the week before, friends are likely to admire your ring and offer congratulations the first time they see you. It depends how you handle that whether it's diverting attention from the weddig. So a couple of days after would be better.