Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

[Westendgoer]

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

Not even remotely the same.

I wasn’t being serious.

Why are some people saying the OP's other half did nothing wrong, because 'a marriage proposal doesn't have to be particularly timed...' Whilst bleating about how their DH proposed while she was having a shit, or just after she'd give him a blow job, or when she was pegging out the washing, or just after she'd cracked off a stinky fart next to him. And to add to the mundaneness, he never got her an engagement ring, he gave her a potato hula hoop for a wedding ring, and they got married in a photo booth in Morrisons.

Big deal. That doesn't mean the OP's 'fiance' was right to have proposed at someone else's pre wedding celebration!

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You should have kept it to yourselves till the wedding was done yes.

You know this.

Big deal. That doesn't mean the OP's 'fiance' was right to have proposed at someone else's pre wedding celebration!
He didn't. He proposed on a holiday they were on that was before a wedding they were attending. That's not a "pre wedding celebration".

Er, because one poster on this thread described the OP's fiance as lazy for his unimaginative proposal, as if the manner of the asking is more important than the intent.

And he didn't propose at any kind of pre wedding celebration. He proposed on a holiday that they were having before the other wedding guests arrived in situ.

It shows you have low standards tbh.

Lazy, lacklustre and uninventive to piggyback over someone else's idea and celebrations. The bar for men is so low.

Women just have very low standards. Some woman said he came out the shower and proposed lol !! Sad really.

lol he didn't even have a ring? wtf how can you propose without a ring?

Or just care more about the words and the excitement of being married than making the proposal a big occasion? That really isn't a low standard.

Its about having basic respect and making an effort. It could be a home proposal, but you clearly have very low standards so there's that. The bar is very low for men.

Simple proposal at home:
Order my favourite take away
Light some candles
Make an effort in some decoration
Get a nice ring I'll like

Not wait for me to come out the shower. Not everything needs to be on Instagram. I don't even use Instagram !!

You shouldn't have said anything until after the wedding, I think.

That stuff isn't important to all of us. It's not a low standard to not be interested in specific things.

I hate fuss of any kind so for me it being completely low-key and unplanned was better thought out that something that would have made me cringe with candles and decoration. That's a preference, not a lower standard.

None of which changes that there is nothing lacklustre about proposing on holiday, regardless of whether the holiday destination was chosen for its own sake or because there was a specific event there a few days later.

I am not in the least interested in candles and decoration. If my DH had done as you suggest, I would have thought he had lost the plot. He also didn't have a ring, because it was spontaneous when he asked, not some planned event. He had no idea what sort of ring I would like, nor did I until we chose it together.

It isn't a case of low standards. More interested in the character of the man than his ability to set a scene.

People care about different things.

I’d find candles and a takeaway very naff, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it

Get new friends.

Perhaps a lot of thought went into whether to propose or not, though, which is actually the important part.

Fair, be happy with your shower proposal. Sad.

Its just shows zero effort to propose to someone after having a shower. Like that was one god damn example. But, meh - if he farts then proposes you would be happy!

His character shows he didn't care enough to choose a ring for you, which speaks volumes to me.

People don't know how to read the room. A wedding takes months and a lot of money to plan, then picking a date. The entitlement.

Shower wasn't me but I'm still happy with mine. And that's never sad. It's only sad for you to think simple isn't just as lovely as planned.

Thought, I imagine, would go into choosing the ring, and deciding whether to propose or not.

Expectations are so different to what they used to be.

Doesn't make for a better marriage necessarily.

I literally listed a simple proposal, but ok. Like I said, I don't even use social media.