It's not "passed" or "passed away", it's "died"

[SherlockHolmes]

So sick of this euphemism being used everywhere. It's not factual - no one has passed anywhere, they're dead.

I get it if it's someone close to you and you can't bring yourself to actually mention death, but it's being used in news reports etc. Utterly ridiculous.

@MollyMaidsRightArm Language constantly changing, it’s not a corruption to acquire words and terms from other countries.

My mum died last year. When I talk about it I say she died. I've spent the week with someone who talks of her granny 'passing'. When we talked about it I used her preferred term. It seemed insensitive to push my preferred terminology on her.

Some people might prefer your last example.

Gallows humour.

That's your opinion.
Most US imports are not worth having.

'Gotten' and 'movie' are two pet hates.

What a vicious bunch….you’ve all been on Mumsnet too long, you’ve lost your hearts.

I always say died, including when I'm talking about people close to me (all four of my parents and in-laws have died in the last 8 years). So far I haven't come across anyone seeming to be offended or uncomfortable with this, but if I did, I think I would be willing to use some kind of euphemism, but not "passed away." It just feels twee and unnatural for me to say it, any more than I would say "did a wee-wee" to anyone over the age of about 7, although I accept that some other people are comfortable with it. Maybe something like "went." I think the phrase "he/she's gone" was used by other people at the moment when both my parents died, and it felt less jarringly soppy than "passed away" because in a sense something did go, but I would not have been in the least offended if they'd said "died." I have let it be known that when I die, my greatest wish is that when my family are letting other people know, they should use the word "died."

YANBU.

No it's not a US corruption of the English language. This euphemism is one of the oldest in the English language, dating from the 15th Century.
I'm an atheist and I couldn't care less what word or term people use - whatever they're comfortable with is fine by me. And given that we now routinely have "trigger" warnings on TV and in print media, is it any surprise that this very old English euphemism would be used to protect the feelings of viewers/readers who have been bereaved?

Social media picks up on dead, died, death and can block posts so people use unalived as a way to get round it

Where has that came from as my 8yo says it as well.

Why does it matter? Let people explain death however they want to in that moment.

This reminds me of that lovely old film " This Happy Breed"
" Mother died Sylvia..she didn't pass over..pass under or pass out..She died !! "

Surprised that @SherlockHolmes hasn't returned to the thread.

Charming

It is the sound video characters make when they die. 😅🤣

Except it isn't a US import - it's Middle English! 🙄

There are many words and phrases that bug me but this isn't one of them. I do think that we need to let people who are grieving use the language that works for them. I'm struggling to use the word died about someone v important to me who passed away recently.

I remember a friend of mine .. someone said to him I’m so sorry you lost your mum , and he replied I haven’t lost her , I know exactly where she is, she’s dead.
I cringed but I do totally get where he was coming from

It doesn’t bother me. But I quite like “unalived” in a totes non ironic way. 😀

I used to work in the Deaf community. BSL is a very direct, emphatic language. But even there, I noted there was a sign being used (in my area anyway) for “passed/away”. They were perfectly familiar with the sign for “died”, but sometimes this alternative was used (particularly by people talking about their relatives).

This. Everyone knows what passed away means. I work in healthcare and will mirror to language a patient prefers whatever that is but passed away does sound gentler. Having said that if breaking bad news would always used ‘died’ sensatively too avoid any confusion.

The insertion of 'sadly' before either 'died' or 'passed (away)' bugs me no end. Listen out for it on the TV & radio: it's always there, drives me to distraction.

You are perfectly entitled to your opinion, @SherlockHolmes, but so are the people who prefer the term passed/passed away to died. Some people find the term died too blunt and painful.

I think that what matters is using the term that the bereaved person will find the least hurtful, if you know it. If you don’t know what they’d prefer, you just have to guess - and threads like this prove what a minefield that is.

Having grieved my husband’s death and having been trained and recruited as a grief counsellor as a result, I think people are allowed to use any phraseology they find comfortable and which helps them come to terms with their loss. That you would seek to police the language used by a grieving person is beyond unreasonable - their grief is not about you.

Meant to add, I know they've gone, I helped plan the fecking funeral but I just need a wee bit of time before I fully accept that they've gone, completely. Using the 'd word' feels v v final. Of course it is final but the person in question went unexpectedly and I need a few months to take it in. For reasons I can't explain, saying passed away helps.