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AIBU?

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To think you don’t catch a butterfly and take it round M&S

418 replies

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 12:32

Was just picking up a few bits in M&S and there was a girl about 8 years old or so swinging one of those butterfly net thingies off her arm. On closer inspection I saw she had one in there (not the ones you send away for, although that would be bad enough, one that had obviously been procured organically)

Her mum was busy looking at something so I said to the girl ‘oh! What a pretty butterfly. That’s a large white. I except you’re going to let it go after you’ve finished your shopping, aren’t you?’

The mum came over beaming presumably ready to hear a comment about what a fun summer holiday activity this all is, and said ‘no, we’ll take it home, keep it for a few days and observe it. It flew straight into the net so we had this ready to pop it straight into!’

‘I said ‘well I’m sure it would have been preferred to be observed in nature, where it was, not caught in a net and taken round the shops. Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel?’

Anyway she was visibly annoyed, and said ‘it’s fine. My children are learning about nature! We know what it eats!’

Anyway she steered her child away from me and said some people are just very joyless and bitter.

Yeah I know I probably sound like a busy body but I can’t bear it when parents tell their kids it’s ok to just take stuff out of nature for their own amusement. Why is it ok to do this? It’s so Victorian, to capture a creature to just look at it, no thought for the poor thing at all. Don’t get me started on why they still sell butterfly nets 😭

OP posts:
Jamfirstest · 05/08/2025 20:06

Dd1 (15) would have a fit about this. It’s not nice.

Cherrytree86 · 05/08/2025 20:47

GoldenRosebee · 05/08/2025 19:25

Sorry killing a butterfly isn't a crime, AFAIK. Just like slaughtering a cow for meat isn't a crime. Butterfly isn't more important than human child.

@GoldenRosebee

“Butterfly isn't more important than human child.”

in a life or death situation, of course! Child would trump butterfly every time. We’re not talking about a life/death situation here are we? We’re talking about a perfectly reasonable, accurate comment to a child which will not harm them in a way which could save the butterfly from a needless death.

Cyb3rg4l · 05/08/2025 20:53

FanofLeaves · 05/08/2025 20:01

😆 you’ve no idea how much I appreciated that laugh today. Thank you.

I live in South London. The police aren’t coming out to M&S over a woman making a comment to a child. For a start how quickly do you think they could get there, the entire exchange was about 25 seconds long 🤣🤣

Edited

Your argument is ‘Because I live somewhere that has a high crime rate and insufficient policing, harassing children is fine because there will be no consequences?” Interesting ethical take for someone concerned with the ethical arguments around animal cruelty.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/08/2025 20:58

Cyb3rg4l · 05/08/2025 19:57

Harassing a minor in public is a great way to get arrested. Other people’s children are none of your concern.

"Harassing a minor"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No, speaking to a child in a public place is not in fact a crime.

Cherrytree86 · 05/08/2025 21:09

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/08/2025 20:58

"Harassing a minor"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No, speaking to a child in a public place is not in fact a crime.

Exactly this! Get a grip @Cyb3rg4l

FanofLeaves · 05/08/2025 21:14

Cyb3rg4l · 05/08/2025 20:53

Your argument is ‘Because I live somewhere that has a high crime rate and insufficient policing, harassing children is fine because there will be no consequences?” Interesting ethical take for someone concerned with the ethical arguments around animal cruelty.

No, my take is what a ridiculous thing to bother the police with, since it’s not a crime or even close. Or indeed unethical?! It is funny though. To think someone might see me discussing the welfare of a butterfly in the shop and…. log it with 111?

OP posts:
FourIsNewSix · 05/08/2025 21:24

Cherrytree86 · 05/08/2025 20:47

@GoldenRosebee

“Butterfly isn't more important than human child.”

in a life or death situation, of course! Child would trump butterfly every time. We’re not talking about a life/death situation here are we? We’re talking about a perfectly reasonable, accurate comment to a child which will not harm them in a way which could save the butterfly from a needless death.

The comment wasn't really reasonable.
As I described on the previous page, a real expert wouldn't be concerned and would probably encourage the girl. Overall, the OP's comment was just a bit of self-righteous hoby-high-horsing.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5383421-to-think-you-dont-catch-a-butterfly-and-take-it-round-ms?reply=146203166&utm_campaign=reply&utm_medium=share

Page 16 | To think you don’t catch a butterfly and take it round M&S | Mumsnet

Was just picking up a few bits in M&S and there was a girl about 8 years old or so swinging one of those butterfly net thingies off her arm. On cl...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5383421-to-think-you-dont-catch-a-butterfly-and-take-it-round-ms?reply=146203166

FanofLeaves · 05/08/2025 21:29

A ‘real expert’ is not going to encourage a child to capture creatures from their natural habitat and swing them around M&S. studying bugs outside, yes. Potentially even catching them to have a look/sketch them/hold them/show them to their friends.

Not pop them in a net and drag them home via the shops.

OP posts:
lola243 · 05/08/2025 22:02

Cherrytree86 · 05/08/2025 20:47

@GoldenRosebee

“Butterfly isn't more important than human child.”

in a life or death situation, of course! Child would trump butterfly every time. We’re not talking about a life/death situation here are we? We’re talking about a perfectly reasonable, accurate comment to a child which will not harm them in a way which could save the butterfly from a needless death.

I thought it wasn’t worth replying to such an asinine comment but I appreciated your response here :)

HevenlyMeS · 05/08/2025 22:21

Thank you for showing genuine kindness & compassionately pointing out the devastating possible outcomes, from approaching the wrong folks
God Bless You&Yours
So imperative to remember these facts

GoldenRosebee · 06/08/2025 05:49

Cherrytree86 · 05/08/2025 20:47

@GoldenRosebee

“Butterfly isn't more important than human child.”

in a life or death situation, of course! Child would trump butterfly every time. We’re not talking about a life/death situation here are we? We’re talking about a perfectly reasonable, accurate comment to a child which will not harm them in a way which could save the butterfly from a needless death.

butterfly doesn't have any right to needful or useful death. I think some people think too much about deaths of insects.

Cherrytree86 · 06/08/2025 09:43

@GoldenRosebee

of course it does! All living things should be respected and not killed needlessly or for entertainment. Who do you think you are??

nomas · 06/08/2025 17:28

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 16:17

It's just training for them. They'll appreciate the fitness when someone's cat chases then with more evil intent then the kids. If the pigeons didn't enjoy it they wouldn't hang round the parks.

Edited

Sounds like you need a dose of this treatment from a pigeon.

https://youtube.com/shorts/WNd-C3XMIUU?si=rdWzlwCMtRqnCWHa

Bumblebee72 · 06/08/2025 18:22

GoldenRosebee · 06/08/2025 05:49

butterfly doesn't have any right to needful or useful death. I think some people think too much about deaths of insects.

Only pretty ones......

MicrowaveQueen · 08/08/2025 11:20

THANK YOU for calling her out! These out-dated and selfish thought patterns regarding nature shouldn't be passed along to the next generations. There are plenty of ways to learn about nature without causing harm (and make no mistake, this IS harm to the butterfly in multiple ways). Hopefully you gave her some food for thought to take away and mull over. Have a fab day xx

Concretejungle1 · 08/08/2025 11:27

GoldenRosebee · 06/08/2025 05:49

butterfly doesn't have any right to needful or useful death. I think some people think too much about deaths of insects.

Thats vile.

Summergirl92 · 09/08/2025 14:31

I absolutely agree, both she and that child want a lash, absolutely horrifying and disgusting!! That's the kind of fools who are raising children nowadays and that explains why society is the way it has become.

Pangip · 19/08/2025 10:02

Really... all of it!

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