To think you don’t catch a butterfly and take it round M&S

[FanofLeaves]

Was just picking up a few bits in M&S and there was a girl about 8 years old or so swinging one of those butterfly net thingies off her arm. On closer inspection I saw she had one in there (not the ones you send away for, although that would be bad enough, one that had obviously been procured organically)

Her mum was busy looking at something so I said to the girl ‘oh! What a pretty butterfly. That’s a large white. I except you’re going to let it go after you’ve finished your shopping, aren’t you?’

The mum came over beaming presumably ready to hear a comment about what a fun summer holiday activity this all is, and said ‘no, we’ll take it home, keep it for a few days and observe it. It flew straight into the net so we had this ready to pop it straight into!’

‘I said ‘well I’m sure it would have been preferred to be observed in nature, where it was, not caught in a net and taken round the shops. Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel?’

Anyway she was visibly annoyed, and said ‘it’s fine. My children are learning about nature! We know what it eats!’

Anyway she steered her child away from me and said some people are just very joyless and bitter.

Yeah I know I probably sound like a busy body but I can’t bear it when parents tell their kids it’s ok to just take stuff out of nature for their own amusement. Why is it ok to do this? It’s so Victorian, to capture a creature to just look at it, no thought for the poor thing at all. Don’t get me started on why they still sell butterfly nets 😭

But you are ok with OP harassing other people’s children? Mothers mother their own children, not other people’s

yanbu. We all share this earth and we have no more right than any other creature. I can’t stand people who cannot fathom other things are real living creatures and not just for our amusement

I think YABU do you have a go at all pet owners? what's the difference is a caged butterfly over a caged rabbit or restricted dog, zoo animals etc
And yes I agree with others, it's hypocritical to think it's acceptable to caged and kill animals for food too.

WTH are you challenging me for? 🙄

Whether or not you agree with OP, you do not need to be rude

Any unknown adult who takes it upon themselves to remark on anything at all to one of my children should absolutely expect to be on the receiving end of a few choice words. You’ve got something to say? Say it to me. Do NOT speak to my children EVER.

If a child is doing something with their parent's blessing which prompts a complete stranger to make a remark, saying something to the parent is unlikely to be effective, because if the parent agreed with the stranger the child wouldn't be allowed to do whatever it is in the first place.

Does not mean you speak to my children. Especially if you’re finding fault. That sort of thing will get you an earful.

For the posts making a comparison to "vegan"......Just because someone isn't vegan doesn't mean they are "happy for animals to be used and kept in less than great conditions....".
My "non vegan" family, like millions of others across the world, have some very happy chickens living in their garden, raised from birth and treated just as lovingly as pets and reaping the rewards of fresh eggs. If I had space I'd do the same with goats for dairy (plenty of people now know to go for animal products from decent pasture etc)
So I, like many others, am not vegan and the animal products I eat dont involve cruelty!
Catching a butterfly in a net, swinging it around a shop and then sticking it in a jar, is going to be painful for the butterfly (like someone else said, like pulling legs off a spider!)
That's no different to putting a chicken or a SPARROW in a sack and walking round shops so it's wings hurt or break and swinging them around for hours so it panics!

Nothing to do with eating animal products!

Well, yes, the kind of parents of badly behaved kids who don't think there is anything wrong with their parenting WILL give you an earful. That's how it goes. They're the same sort of people who will give you an earful for asking them not to use their phone in the quiet carriage or play music through loudspeakers in public or park across your driveway.

Their attitude problem is already baked in and has been for years, whereas their child may still be receptive to hearing that carrying a butterfly round M&S in a net is rather cruel.

The sheer entitlement of some parents 😡

No doubt from the same dumb arse brigade who expect their poor neighbours to put up with them making a nuisance of themselves outside because at least it means ‘they’re not stuck to a screen indoors’.

When did adults get so selfish.

Well as long as your children are impeccably behaved at all times I guess you do you. Trouble is you sound like the sort of parent that lets their kids do whatever they want and fuck anyone else! There’s a few about.

Just to reiterate. No I’m not vegan. My basket contained the following;

Feta cheese
Vegetable spring rolls
Cornish cruncher biscuits (the sole reason for visiting M&S in the first place, actually)
some yellow sticker strawberries

I still have no regrets about pulling someone up on the poor treatment of a hapless pollinator. Would do again.

@ThatDaringEagle

hello, Misogynist 👋

@HaveCreditWillShop

i feel like life is gonna tough for your kids. As they get older and people pull them up on stuff as they inevitably will they’re gonna absolutely crumble

YABU a little bit at least. It's one insect. It's not a big enough solution to harass one mother in M&S. And it's not a big enough issue to stress about.

@CollsR

she hardly stalked her around the isles and then followed her home to make sure she knows where she lives - get a grip! And it is something to stress about- no body - child or adult - has the right to imprison a wild creature and remove it from its natural habitat.

”When they get older” - yes.

Not as an 8 year old girl walking with your mother around M&S.

@RisingSunn

OP was perfectly polite. Let’s not act like what she said is going to scar this child for life

Well as long as your children are impeccably behaved at all times I guess you do you. Trouble is you sound like the sort of parent that lets their kids do whatever they want and fuck anyone else! There’s a few about.

A stranger does not need to directly approach a young child about their concerns (when the parent is actually present).

Having that stance, doesn't mean parents permit their children do whatever they want. That’s quite a leap.

Always a classy touch to insult someone’s kids. Nice.

My kids are impeccably behaved and that’s why I keep the screaming chavs far away from them.

I have had ants in my kitchen. If they come back am I allowed to put ant powder down again or do I have to respect their place in nature?

Well as long as you don't torture them and dispatch them as quickly and efficiently as possible then its fine.
Its when people use animal suffering for sport or for fun that its disgusting. A friend of mine hunts (not UK) for meat and dresses and eats everything, he took a lot of time explaining to DS who was about 10 then how he ensures that the animal doesn't suffer and how he was trained by his dad to do it etc. Even Veggie DD didn't have an issue with it, although obviously she didn't eat it.
Taking a butterfly round the shops is cruel and unecessary and was teaching that child that her entertainment was more important than the welfare of another living thing.

That’s a relief. I’ll also carry on killing caterpillars that attack my plants. 👍

Not unreasonable at all OP, well done for standing up for the butterfly