To think you don’t catch a butterfly and take it round M&S

[FanofLeaves]

Was just picking up a few bits in M&S and there was a girl about 8 years old or so swinging one of those butterfly net thingies off her arm. On closer inspection I saw she had one in there (not the ones you send away for, although that would be bad enough, one that had obviously been procured organically)

Her mum was busy looking at something so I said to the girl ‘oh! What a pretty butterfly. That’s a large white. I except you’re going to let it go after you’ve finished your shopping, aren’t you?’

The mum came over beaming presumably ready to hear a comment about what a fun summer holiday activity this all is, and said ‘no, we’ll take it home, keep it for a few days and observe it. It flew straight into the net so we had this ready to pop it straight into!’

‘I said ‘well I’m sure it would have been preferred to be observed in nature, where it was, not caught in a net and taken round the shops. Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel?’

Anyway she was visibly annoyed, and said ‘it’s fine. My children are learning about nature! We know what it eats!’

Anyway she steered her child away from me and said some people are just very joyless and bitter.

Yeah I know I probably sound like a busy body but I can’t bear it when parents tell their kids it’s ok to just take stuff out of nature for their own amusement. Why is it ok to do this? It’s so Victorian, to capture a creature to just look at it, no thought for the poor thing at all. Don’t get me started on why they still sell butterfly nets 😭

Amazing the story of the little rescued peacock butterfly who lived with the poster and her daughter for seven months. What a miracle.

I don’t know - I reckon you probably had chicken or some other meat or dairy in your trolley.

So yes, you’re a hypocrite.

Every once in a while Mumsnet offers up a thread so ridiculously middle class I can't believe it's not parody.

This is one for the ages.

I agree with leaving animals be - but I don't agree with walking up to and lecturing other people's children in a supermarket. You speak to the adult - if you are so concerned.

I definitely wouldn't just stand there listening to OP lecture my child.

If you eat non organic kale or broccoli, especially in summer, you’re a white butterfly murderer. The caterpillars decimate those crops if left to do their wild thing. So even our vegan probably has butterfly blood on her hands. In NZ you are visited by some type of bio police if they spot the butterfly in your street and they come and spray your brassicas for you if you don’t get rid.

All I’d say is, maybe confronting and humiliating this child in public who was showing an interest in and appreciation for nature in her own clumsy way was not the best way to get closer to the big picture of encouraging empathy for living creatures in children. I discourage capture of creatures and ask my children to think of themselves being plucked away from us by a hand in the sky at times. But I’m also aware that survival, or even just basic comfort, means being prepared to murder and control masses of other living creatures during the course of one’s life. Or paying others to do so for you. Any medicine you take exists because scientists like the little girl tested it on countless creatures like that butterfly before deeming it safe for you to take. It’s complicated.

YANBU OP, that’s child’s mother sounds dense

I get you @FanofLeaves it's about teaching children to respect nature and leave it be. I do that with my own dc. We observe and I always tell them to stay back and not interfere or harass the animals we're looking at.

What an incredible thread. I would be horrified to see a child encouraged by an idiot of a parent to capture a wild creature and take it home for their own pleasure. It shows no respect for other species.
And it has absolutely nothing to do with whether you eat meat or not.

Well that’s the thing isn’t it. Was the little girl/mum planning to do something “wrong”. Yes they probably were. But was it significantly bad enough to warrant calling out? How would OP feel if people commented on the contents of her trolley?

“Oh I see you have some cow’s milk in there? But I do expect you are going to out that back before finishing up in here aren’t you?”

“Oh that’s a lovely leather coat! But I’m sure you won’t want to buy any more animal clothes in the future, will you?”

”Oh that’s a lovely car you’re travelling in with you mum! But I hope that she won’t always have such a large vehicle?”

But it clearly does have to do with precisely that. 😅 Why are people getting wound up about inconveniencing a butterfly when millions of highly intelligent cows and pigs are bred and raised and killed in horrible captivity in the UK every year. The supermarkets are going to get very sociable indeed if we all start commenting on that.

People care about what they're witnesses to, especially if their intervention in the moment can make a difference to that individual creature. I mean caterpillars are sprayed with insecticide all the time and nobody seems to be campaigning about that, but if a piglet where being killed live in Tesco I should imagine there'd be uproar and mass protesting.

Agreed. I'm baffled by this thread. To me the tone of some of the posters reads as if the mum had said they were going to stick pins in the butterfly and mount it, rather than what she actually said. And I'm not a monster I promise, I rescued a couple of ladybirds from a lido last week 😁

Minding your own business is a very underrated virtue

Good for you OP. The silly mother shouldn’t let her kid be cruel to a living creature.

This has tickled me so much 😂

But... that's even worse. You know, but you despite that you support industrial chicken factories?

I’m not vegan or even vegetarian, but I get her point. I presume you wouldn’t take kindly to somebody coming up to your child and telling them they shouldn’t be eating their sausage roll.

I think it was incredibly cowardly of you to speak directly to the child and not approach the mother.

It is clearly the parent's responsibility and you should have taken it up with her not direct the child.

Yes, why?

Ha, ha, who is , except feminist women themselves !? :))

I mean, I get it, but as an adult who had a 90s childhood, I would hunt and collect ladybugs and keep them in a lunchbox (with tiny holes so they could breathe and lots of grass/twigs/flowers) and keep them as pets 😅

Yes, I agree with you. It is cruel. Humans need to realise that not everything revolves around us. Insects and bees have jobs to do and are an integral part of the ecosystem.

Whilst you are entitled to your own opinions of course, foisting them on other people’s children is wild.

I had no idea people eat butterflies - what a strange world we live in!

Totally agree I also can't stand this new stupid idea of buying butterflies chrysalises. You teach your kids to observe respect and care about nature not send for it off amazon