To think you don’t catch a butterfly and take it round M&S

[FanofLeaves]

Was just picking up a few bits in M&S and there was a girl about 8 years old or so swinging one of those butterfly net thingies off her arm. On closer inspection I saw she had one in there (not the ones you send away for, although that would be bad enough, one that had obviously been procured organically)

Her mum was busy looking at something so I said to the girl ‘oh! What a pretty butterfly. That’s a large white. I except you’re going to let it go after you’ve finished your shopping, aren’t you?’

The mum came over beaming presumably ready to hear a comment about what a fun summer holiday activity this all is, and said ‘no, we’ll take it home, keep it for a few days and observe it. It flew straight into the net so we had this ready to pop it straight into!’

‘I said ‘well I’m sure it would have been preferred to be observed in nature, where it was, not caught in a net and taken round the shops. Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel?’

Anyway she was visibly annoyed, and said ‘it’s fine. My children are learning about nature! We know what it eats!’

Anyway she steered her child away from me and said some people are just very joyless and bitter.

Yeah I know I probably sound like a busy body but I can’t bear it when parents tell their kids it’s ok to just take stuff out of nature for their own amusement. Why is it ok to do this? It’s so Victorian, to capture a creature to just look at it, no thought for the poor thing at all. Don’t get me started on why they still sell butterfly nets 😭

Unless theyre pulling the wings off it it's okay imo

Oh dear god(ess). Where are we getting these people tonight?

I think the comment to the child was fine, I wouldn’t have pushed it further with the mother. It would be different with a friend or a family member when I’d be more forthright but not a stranger.

OP, thank goodness for people like you!
I applaud you.

I do wonder about where some people draw the line.
Unthinking cruelty to insects, fine?
What about pulling legs off spiders? Deliberately tormenting pigeons, that's OK?
Does it have to be furry before it's OK to care?
Or maybe of all the species on the planet only humans matter?
Or maybe not even all of them?

YANBU leave nature alone

This thread is completely nutty. It’s a cabbage white. If posters really want to protect them focus less on a child with a net and a single butterfly and nip
down your local allotment where I promise you there will be people killing caterpillars by the hundred and they will be more than happy for you to collect as many as you like to relocate to your own garden.

(however I suspect allotment owners are harder to harass than small girls)

it’s not even a case of meat eaters vs vegans. If you’ve ever eaten a commercially grown piece of broccoli or cauliflower you’ve been responsible for the death of dozens.

You want to protect bugs? Grow bug friendly plants. Don’t use pesticides. Live with slightly untidy garden with weeds. Don’t cut the grass too short. They really are a numbers game, that’s why butterflies lay hundreds of eggs.

I agree with you OP. Poor creature. What she is teaching her child is a lack of respect for animals and the environment. Good for you for speaking up.

Despite not being vegan myself. I agree with the vegan argument on here. It’s speciesism to get on your high horse about a butterfly but to continue to eat meat or dairy.

Enslaved dogs? Have you seen the misery of street dogs? Dogs are not naturally wild animals. Many without homes with humans starve, get injured and die with no one to take them to a vet, get worms and ticks leading to heart worms and tick fever, mange with no one to treat it will be skin destroying, itching driving them mad. Wounds with fly strike. Maggots eating them.
As for enslaved, my dog was out and cried to be let in…nothing stopped her leaving if she wanted…the fence is easily jumpable, too.
Both choose to sleep on my bed, follow me uninvited to the loo, and into the shower, and on long hill walks. Jump in the car if I open a door and sometimes won’t get out when we get back, so I leave them with doors open till they choose to come in. They choose when they want to eat, when to be walked, even whether they swim in the river or not , or if they want to play fetch or not.

I’m the one that shops for(edit typo here) them, makes the food, takes them for walks, takes them to the vet, cleans up behind them, lifts their poop, baths them, grooms their coat, cleans their teeth, checks if they need a pedicure. Who is the slave? They live a life of royalty, waited on, paw and paw.

What has that got to do with anything? Butterflies only live for 24/48 hours. Why should it spend it's short life in the captivity of this ignorant family.

This. The decreasing numbers of insects are something we should definitely all be concerned about - but the causes are habitat loss and pesticides, not small children.

And obviously young children should be encouraged to be gentle with living things, but we’re not all Jains! They will notice that adults who are concerned about not harming the pretty butterflies don’t extend the same consideration to less aesthetically pleasing creatures such as ants, aphids, head lice etc, and that’s even without going down the ‘do you eat meat?’ question which has stirred up this thread.

So I honestly think you should have minded your own business OP. Support conservation charities campaigning for genuine solutions to our biodiversity loss if you want to help butterflies.

Pardon? Are you feeling ok?

Vacuous drivel.

Vacuous drivel.

You should have steered her towards the cabbage.These are my nasturtiums and I'm delighted to see all these cabbage white caterpillars.

Almost all humans are like this unfortunately. YANBU

YANBU. Butterflies are important pollinators and need to be left alone to do their jobs.

@Oldwmn why do you say it’s vacuous drivel? I would say a sausage roll almost certainly involves much greater animal suffering for the pig in captivity compared to a butterfly kept in captivity given the relative mental capacity of the two animals, and knowing that the pork in the sausage roll is unlikely to be free range or anything. Lecturing random strangers in public about either is pretty rude.

“butterfly cage swinging wildly..”. Poor creature won’t be having a nice end to its life either. How sad.

Ok.
Going to have a stab at this...Its only wk 2 of the summer hols and this mum has already reached her fill, trying to keep going on a secret stash of percy pig sweets and cold espresso . Wishing she'd said yes to that glamping holiday with her ex's new family even tho she has her face on a dart board. Overcompensated watching all those home ed science you tube videos, hit the prosecco a bit early in the day, recreated her own early years catching insects to watch the entire life cycle thru to death in a jam jar. Probably missed that parents evening on KS2 not now being about captive animals.
Now thinks she is running a forest school, because lets face it, everyone is.
Probably forgiveable . Especially if it's the nanny's day off or even worse the nanny has gone to the countryside with her other family for a month.
Cruel? Yes. But probably best just to grab the net from the child, run outside and free the butterfly then run back to return the contraption.
Only another 4 wks to go folks...

That would’ve upset me too, OP.

Take it home? What the hell. Why? Leave it be. But then I've seen gormless parents letting their kids chase and kick birds so nothing surprises me.

WTH. 😨

hahaha this is just a Nigerian thing to say

Yeah. I am not from here and always thought you were a nation of animal-lovers. There are a LOT of exceptions walking about. It's appalling.