To be depressed about my financial situation compared to my neighbors

[greenwithenvy2]

My neighbor is about 59 years old and her husband is 63. She works for the local council as a HR coordinator and her husband, who is now retired, was a finance clerk for the local council.

They have a property portfolio worth around £2.4m (£1m mortgages) so approx £1.4m in property assets. They started their business in the early 90s, when they purchased their first property. They moved home, renting out their original house and repeated this again. With the increase in house prices they were able to remortgage their BTL and buy more property.

We are in our late 30s and are in a very privileged position - we earn a decent wage between us (£140k) and are able investment into our ISA each month but we will never able to have £1.4m in property investment.

I felt so bitter listening to her. They were able to provide gifts for their children to buy their houses and they have now set up companies so their children will inherit their wealth.

I get we are fortunate, but we'll never be able to do this for our children. They achieved this on fairly middling wages as well. I know there are a few other neighbors on our street who've managed this feat and now their kids are sitting pretty.

I felt disgusted at her and at myself for feeling this way.

Why not count your blessings instead of being jealous of others. You’re in an enviable position.

A) You're 20 years behind them. You have time!

B) Just focus on YOUR life, don't compare with others, or you'll never be content.

with you attitude you will never be happy. You will always want more.
it must be horrible in your head space.

Yet you're still jealous, comparing lifestyles that are miles apart.
It's a bit cringe.

I look at friends with property portfolios who have comfortable lives and who are desperately trying to earn even more money to leave to their children and I just think "why?"
I'm just glad we've been able to help our DC with a small deposit towards a house whilst they saved the rest living rent free at home. After that, they know that they will inherit anything we haven't a) already spent enjoying our retirement or b) is spent on care.
I really don't get this obsession with trying to create vast amounts of wealth to give to the children. Whatever happened to them making their own way in the world. And besides, I don't intend going anywhere for quite some time yet so DC will have a long wait!
DMIL is in her late 90's and quite likely to make 100+ so lucky DH wasn't relying on an inheritance to set him up for life!

I am depressed about my financial situation compared to JK Rowling.

In fact no, I’m not. Because I’m not 7.

I really think you should give yourself a metaphorical slap and snap out of it.

There is enormous generational inequality in the UK based on when you got on the housing market.

Best not to dwell on it OP and count your blessings.

I am almost your neighbour and I was also you 20 years ago, you don’t know your financial situation in 20 years time.

A lot of these threads lately, are you the same OP that started the thread about being jealous of your neighbour on benefits?

This.

I look at the world and the types of leaders we have who got to where they are because of inherited wealth. No way would I want my children ending up anything like them.

The point stands , looking up your neighbours on the internet is odd and abnormal .

I don’t see the point comparing. My grandparents were in a similar position to them, born at a time which meant they really caught the “boom” of the property market and that’s great for them, but they also had & raised their children in a time when most households were much poorer than they are now, all clothes and shoes were passed down 3 or 4 times, nothing was new, bath water would be hot for the first person and then get colder for the 2nd/3rd/4th that used it, meals were the same and basic every day, no takeaways, restaurant meals, no foreign holidays, a trip to the park or beach was it really. Kids born at a time when there wasn’t really maternity pay & dad’s got no time off at all. They had it really hard in lots of ways, I don’t envy that and I’m so grateful I’m not raising my babies in that world.

I’m also surprised at you saying that with a combined income of £140k you won’t be able to help your children with even a small deposit onto the property ladder- unless you became parents much later in life then that’s absolutely possible for you on your incomes.

They are a lot older and made decisions when they were your age to go down the property route. Your have no idea whether they made other sacrifices for this security now, and they definitely rode out falls in the market. In 20 years time you may have made significant financial gains too. Remember lives 20 years ago and definitely 40 years ago were different, we definitely didn’t spend so much money each week and holidays were more basic, they have eating their comforts now

It’s probably never crossed your mind that they could have been in a very precarious position when the twin towers were attacked.
Then there was the 2008 financial crash.

You are jealous of 1M quid in mortgages
Landlords that own BTL properties
People in their 60s at and nearing retirement age whilst you are in your 30s. (I'm 41 and do not want to wish the years away just yet)

None of the things you have listed make me feel envious. You have no idea of how your or their situation may change but have decided to be annoyed about it all. Pointless exercise.

Almost all of my friends; only teachers and other public sector workers etc from this era own 2 London properties plus holiday homes. They’re starting to sell up and retire and travel in their mid to late 50’s or are buying properties for their young adult offspring.I’m gutted I didn’t follow suit! There were particular conditions in the markets at the time that made this possible; 100% mortgages, fast rising house prices, lots of jobs, mortgage interest relief for landlords etc. It was like a glitch in the matrix.

Unfortunately we’ll never see those conditions align again and the result is also leading to a widening gap between those young people that can afford property and those that can’t.

You sound like a little princess 👑

Why are you wishing your life away? Check your privilege and stop being so bitter

It is and it’s even more odd to be resentful of how many properties she has and equally not want to be a landlord because ’it’s too stressful’… it’s a weird stance for OP to take

Our neighbours are millionaires. I only know this because I nosed on companies house 😂

They’re very nice, completely working class people who worked hard and made good choices. He’s a builder by trade. I can’t imagine feeling resentful because they have a few million in the bank. They deserve it.

Well how pathetic to be disgusted by someone because of when they were born. as if they had any choice in the matter.
Honestly you need to grow up.and be grateful for your extremely privileged position.

@greenwithenvy2

I hear you. Yes, it’s unfair. I also hear that you know it’s not anyone’s fault. We don’t live in a meritocracy anymore, it just doesn’t pay to work in this country.

Your job/education no longer defines your class - it’s your parents. Read this book “inheritocracy the bank of mum and dad” it reflects on this reality and how much more difficult it is for our generation. Apparently millennials will be the wealthiest generation, but because of inheritance which will further divide the haves and have nots!

The only way to beat the system is to move abroad somewhere with less tax and higher wages and bring home a nest egg - or better still take your talents somewhere you will be appreciated and the sun will also probably shine brighter !

Shift your mindset and look at how fortunate you are compared to most other people. There’s always someone better off than you but in your case, there are many many more people worse off and with the utmost respect you need a reality check.

you could be depressed, I, of course, have no idea just like everyone on this thread but it will be nothing to do with your neighbours wealth and reading facts about that wont help you.

Im.55. My mother could not help me buy my miniscule house when I purchased it at 30. Correction she bought me a hoover snd a lawnmower. I was very grateful. Not everyone gets a helping hand. I taught for 31 years and earned nowhere near 70k. Be grateful for what you have.