To be depressed about my financial situation compared to my neighbors

[greenwithenvy2]

My neighbor is about 59 years old and her husband is 63. She works for the local council as a HR coordinator and her husband, who is now retired, was a finance clerk for the local council.

They have a property portfolio worth around £2.4m (£1m mortgages) so approx £1.4m in property assets. They started their business in the early 90s, when they purchased their first property. They moved home, renting out their original house and repeated this again. With the increase in house prices they were able to remortgage their BTL and buy more property.

We are in our late 30s and are in a very privileged position - we earn a decent wage between us (£140k) and are able investment into our ISA each month but we will never able to have £1.4m in property investment.

I felt so bitter listening to her. They were able to provide gifts for their children to buy their houses and they have now set up companies so their children will inherit their wealth.

I get we are fortunate, but we'll never be able to do this for our children. They achieved this on fairly middling wages as well. I know there are a few other neighbors on our street who've managed this feat and now their kids are sitting pretty.

I felt disgusted at her and at myself for feeling this way.

OP doesn’t want to be a landlord though, which makes the whole comparison piece with the neighbours a bit odd seeing as she could do it but just doesn’t want to lol

Wish more people had your moral standing.

I’d say enjoy your youth - being late 30s is much better than being almost 60! This isn’t to be ageist but it’s just to say that our younger years are our best really.

Of course money isn't everything but you are allowed to have feelings about it and it is true that houses are so so much more expensive now compared to average wages than they were in the 70s or 80s so people buying thier first home now (or anytime in the past 5-10) years, have had it relatively much harder particularly in expensive parts of the country

OP. Envy is a sign that you want something for yourself - your neighbour's investments have given them financial security in their late 50s which is something you can aim for with your salary. Pay more into your pension scheme, save rather than spend. You may be right that it isn't possible to generate that kind of wealth through property now but it is completely possible for you to invest over the next 20 years to create that kind of value in your pension. You could also talk to your neighbour and find out what their lives were like at your age. They probably saved a lot to buy their property and might have been very modest with their spending on things like holidays, etc.

You could achieve what your neighbours have over the next 30 years if you put your mind to it. You earn £140k for goodness sake. Get a mortgage, forget the ISA, pull in your belt, skip a few holidays, pay as much off the mortgage as possible, as early as possible. When it’s paid off, or substantially paid down, remortgage your house and get a buy to let. Both properties will appreciate, maybe not by as much as your neighbours did but you will make positive equity over time. When you retire sell both properties, downsize, give the balance to your children. Alternatively just moan that about your neighbours good fortune and do nothing.

You need to let it go, unfortunately you were born at the wrong time!

Yes this. Overall being a landlord is an exploitative practice (I don’t want to call it a profession).

Also, on your income you can invest in a stocks and shares ISA for your kids and this will have increased a lot by the time they are of an age to buy a house

Sorry but I absolutely do think on a salary of 140k, and really sensible decisions, you definitely could build up a property portfolio. For example.. you downsize so you have spare capital. You save up and purchase a property for rental or holiday business etc. Then you collect capital, keep saving, and then buy another. I’m guessing your 140k salary is eaten up by one huge mortgage. You could split that between two mortgages but obviously you’d have to cut your cloth accordingly. We have income of 90/100k and have two properties- but we bought them when earning much less, doable because they’ve both been cheap, we saved hard initially for capital to use, and we’ve worked to renovate them and create value; one now brings in rental income. When we have enough capital again I’ll do it again if I can manage it. You can make different choices with your income instead of just one massive mortgage. X

…. and I can tell you they did as I have more than a handful of friends in this position. It was an 80’s/90’s thing. There was a short period in the 90’s when you could get 100% mortgages, in fact more than that so you had money to spend on basic furniture (thank you Northern Rock). I bought my first property in London this way without a penny of parental help and on a public sector salary as did a lot of my friends and work colleagues. Not one of us would be able to afford the properties we/they live in if we had to start from scratch today. We lived through huge interest rates of 15% at one point and a big house price crash. Those that were able to hang on to their properties were then able to use the fast growing equity to buy more places. Flipping properties became very popular. There was a popular programme with Sarah Beene called Property Ladder that followed those that did this.

Why? Would you rather more people homeless?

we need landlords, there’s not enough social housing and not enough people who can afford to buy. So it’s landlords or homelessness- which would you rather?

How?

Good luck to them - they seized the opportunities that were open for them. They took a chance and it paid off.

My parents gave me a wonderful childhood and a great outlook of life but I didn’t get any handouts or any secret savings; they weren’t in a position to that and I’ve never thought of myself hard done by!

My children are set up with ISA’s and savings / investments so they will have a tidy nest egg as they go into adulthood and I think how bloody lucky they are to have this - but never do I think BooHoo poor me, I didn’t have this. One of my friends had a trust fund, some of friends never had a pot to piss in and commonly, most have a nice normal life - you play the hand you’re given. And if you want more, you find a way (like your neighbors!)

OP, with respect; life is not fair. That’s not how this game works. Yes there is massive inequality to what life was like 40 years ago but no good whining about it, you cut your cloth and get on with it.

And stop perving on your neighbours finances 🤣

I feel everything is just so very difficult now and we won't be able to help our children in the same way.

On 140k you can save something for your dc

And that is why I don’t tell anyone about my property portfolio. Mine is around 3 million. I have a normal boring job and that’s what tell people I do.

In all honesty I started buying property for my children so that they would have somewhere to live as an adult.

I bought mine when banks were handing out mortgages like Smarties and was able to self cert. Those were the days…

Oh and your taxes don’t pay my rent as I don’t rent to people on UC. Got bitten too many times unfortunately.

This really sums it up. You could start to build up your own business on your really comfortable salary. But the effort and risk involved are not for you. I’m not judging you for that, everyone has to make the choice about what makes them happy. The sad thing is you seem jealous of someone else who has made different choices to you. You’ve dressed it up with the excuse of saying they only managed it because they had 20 years on you. But they could have said the same about someone else 20 years older than them. There will be people younger than you who have built up really successful businesses or portfolios from less than you have. That’s just life…

Why don’t you be grateful for what you have got

and not what you don’t have

There are plenty of young people with property portfolios so I don’t see that this is all to do with her being 20 yrs older or what luck has to do with it ,

Yeah, nothing was different for previous generations 🤔😆

True but we all do it - it’s a human trait. We only know where we stand in relation to others.

Was it the early 90s when mortgages were easy to get?

Yes those were the days, and then a lot of those lenders went bust due to the business they were writing. Those halcyon days

There is enormous generational inequality in the UK based on when you got on the housing market.

Some of my slightly older friends have had 500k plus to move up the ladder/renovations etc. It does sometimes grate but what can you do.

It sounds like the OP, has been looking up her neighbour's company at Companies House and poring over the figures line by line! A very unhealthy obsession and extreme undue nosiness.

Disgusted that someone has benefited by taking a risk and making smart decisions??

your attitude disgusts me. Get over yourself. You are the problem with this country. Success is seen as ‘disgusting’ should we all be poor to make you happy?