To be depressed about my financial situation compared to my neighbors

[greenwithenvy2]

My neighbor is about 59 years old and her husband is 63. She works for the local council as a HR coordinator and her husband, who is now retired, was a finance clerk for the local council.

They have a property portfolio worth around £2.4m (£1m mortgages) so approx £1.4m in property assets. They started their business in the early 90s, when they purchased their first property. They moved home, renting out their original house and repeated this again. With the increase in house prices they were able to remortgage their BTL and buy more property.

We are in our late 30s and are in a very privileged position - we earn a decent wage between us (£140k) and are able investment into our ISA each month but we will never able to have £1.4m in property investment.

I felt so bitter listening to her. They were able to provide gifts for their children to buy their houses and they have now set up companies so their children will inherit their wealth.

I get we are fortunate, but we'll never be able to do this for our children. They achieved this on fairly middling wages as well. I know there are a few other neighbors on our street who've managed this feat and now their kids are sitting pretty.

I felt disgusted at her and at myself for feeling this way.

Lots of people couldn’t dream of earning what you do.
How would you feel if they were disgusted by you and felt that you ‘lucked out’?

its all online at companieshouse.

You are very fortunate compared to many. Count your blessings. 🙄

It is all relative as pp says. If I'm not careful, I can find myself jealous of people who've had a secure upbringing, a lifetime of physical and mental health, never been made redundant or had any caring responsibilities, before I even think about money! 😅

Some people do have it very easy and manage to waltz through life. Luck plays a huge part, but people like your neighbours have also done well with their life choices. They could have spent it all on sex, drugs and rock and roll! I don't begrudge anyone good fortune. Whether society has messed up big time and denied future generations of similar chances is another matter though - I am more angry at this and governments, than jealous of my neighbours.

A very immature response OP. they are from a different generation, so financial positions will differ. No one today should expect to finance their offspring in this way unless this inherited type of wealth spans many generations. This is a sign of the times and for each future generation things will only get worse. The 90s were the last decade for such prosperity.

There will always be someone financially richer, try not to use that as a marker for success. I'm fortunately wealthy but it isn't that which makes me proud, it's my thriving children, supportive loving husband, and being a nice, kind and giving person to others around me and those other people recognising those qualities about me. It sounds like you're doing well financially anyway, just try not to compare to others, it isn't a good way to live.

FFS - what about people who earn 18k pa - here you are earning 140k and youre moaning about not 'lucking out?!' READ THE ROOM.

Saying someone disgusts you because of something that they had no control over i.e. when they born, where they were born, what colour their skin is, what genitals they have……do you see where this goes?
Grow up and recognise your privilege and prejudice.

You missed out the solid gold final salary pensions of the lazy public sector workers OP, so even more reason to hate the Boomer/ Gen X crossover neighbours. Even though they were phased out in 2015.. the FSPs I mean, not the people..yet.
People who boast about their wealth are the absolute worst though, don't let them get to you.

I know. It just ratted me for some reason. In particular, providing support for children.
Once you have a house sorted in your mid 20s, even if its with a small deposit, you're usually set up for life. Every month you'll build more equity into your house. Its this security we won't be able to give to our children which has annoyed me.

Well I'm just older than her, had 30 odd years as a teacher, and DH is retired from his own construction business.

We 'lucked out' in the fact that we've bought our own (small) house and raised our children. We don't have a property portfolio in the millions. We don't actually have any savings at all. We haven't been able to give our children anything for a deposit and we're currently living on our pensions which are jointly £24,000 a year.

Tell me what I've done wrong in life, why don't you? I've never earned anything like you are doing but I'm not bitter like you are. You seem to think being 'old' makes us all fortunate. I don't actually know anyone my age who is like your (imaginary?) neighbour. It's either a load of rubbish or they have the financial savvy of Bill Gates. It's not simply that they were born in the right era.

There are plenty of young people with property portfolios so I don’t see that this is all to do with her being 20 yrs older or what luck has to do with it , there are plenty of people in there 50/60s that are struggling or are not in a good financial position . Why are you searching your neighbours on company house as that is really stalkerish .

Of course they had control over this

I didn't believe her when she told me how many BTLs she had so i searched online. It was a quick google search.

Oh give over

If you are so upset that you cannot start your children up in life then cut your cloth according to your means. Move house, downsize, budget and save for their future. You won't because by the sounds of things you want to have it all.

A little bit of perspective is needed. Is this something you think of a lot?

You dont need to do this for your children. I was given absolutely nothing, not even spending money as a child. I've worked hard and I'm so proud that every single thing we have have has been earnt by us. There is a great sense of accomplishment in that. Your neighbours for example could have been given a big leg up by their parents so it's not comparable at all, we never know the full story of other people's lives. Please be proud of what you have x

You dont need to do this for your children. I was given absolutely nothing, not even spending money as a child. I've worked hard and I'm so proud that every single thing we have have has been earnt by us. There is a great sense of accomplishment in that. Your neighbours for example could have been given a big leg up by their parents so it's not comparable at all, we never know the full story of other people's lives. Please be proud of what you have x

We all worry about our children. My biggest worry is my daughter being left on her own. She'll never be independent, although she'll always be financially stable. There's always going to be someone better off than you.

If you hadn’t been so nosey you wouldn’t be so jealous. Ignorance is bliss

Victim-much?

Maybe redirect some of that time and effort from stalking your neighbors into bettering your situation. You too can buy a shithole, put some sweat into it, and profit. Or you can whine about your lot in life and wallow.

100% correct.

Your household income is around 3x my household income. You may be able to do things I could never achieve. I still count my blessings.
Also, I wouldn't be so sure you can't achieve what they have. I have a couple of friends who invest in property who were on low incomes. I don't know their exact income and expenditure but I do know they are doing very well and started with very little. They are also late 30s and only started a few years ago.

This is worrying that you've actually looked it up.

What with that and all the details in your OP, I'd say this is more than 'normal' jealousy.

You get one life. Rather than waste yours being bitter and jealous, you'd be better off seeking therapy or something.