To be depressed about my financial situation compared to my neighbors

[greenwithenvy2]

My neighbor is about 59 years old and her husband is 63. She works for the local council as a HR coordinator and her husband, who is now retired, was a finance clerk for the local council.

They have a property portfolio worth around £2.4m (£1m mortgages) so approx £1.4m in property assets. They started their business in the early 90s, when they purchased their first property. They moved home, renting out their original house and repeated this again. With the increase in house prices they were able to remortgage their BTL and buy more property.

We are in our late 30s and are in a very privileged position - we earn a decent wage between us (£140k) and are able investment into our ISA each month but we will never able to have £1.4m in property investment.

I felt so bitter listening to her. They were able to provide gifts for their children to buy their houses and they have now set up companies so their children will inherit their wealth.

I get we are fortunate, but we'll never be able to do this for our children. They achieved this on fairly middling wages as well. I know there are a few other neighbors on our street who've managed this feat and now their kids are sitting pretty.

I felt disgusted at her and at myself for feeling this way.

This. The pity party here is what is disgusting. Do you realise that compared to many you are incredibly privileged? Yet here you are bleating about how unfair your life is compared to your neighbour. Surely no-one can be this lacking in self awareness.

If this is real and I hope it isnt, you need to get a bloody grip

Why do you want to be a property investor? Plenty of other investment strategies out there.

And why do you know her property portfolio value?

Comparison is the thief of joy. You are in a good position. Enjoy it.

Christ, £140k in your 30s. We're in our 40s and on half your income with a £1450 a month mortgage and realised we're more privileged then some (even though we are also surrounded by people a hell of alot more financially solvent then we are too). I can't believe wealthy people go around feeling so hard done by. 😅

Just put some money aside for any future kids, thats what we are doing, just a little bit a month and we might have enough to give their deposit a boost when they're ready to buy. It'll still be a hell of alot more than most!

I'm assuming you must be in a very wealthy neighbourhood if you're comparing yourself to the 1%er millionaires that live next door. Seriously OP, get a grip. Xx

Really? You actually believe they had control over when and where they were born and who to?

You are a joke.

My god I was just reading the thread about the OP scared of the rat in her house and saw the photos of what she was living in then this. OP you need to check your privilege, you really really do.

Just as you're thinking about this lady, I'm kind of thinking about you!
I think you're quite privileged, I'll never get on the property ladder, and it's all I've ever really wanted.

Is OP's post for real or a joke? I'd be laughing all the way to the bank with a combined salary of £140k!

This has to be AI. Surely some families with money lack other things that will make your children happy. Such as love and special memories with their parents. The money will be pointless when they all depart this earth, so maybe don’t place so much value on it. Teach your kids how to be altruistic and kind to their neighbours. It’s the greatest gift you could give them.

And to add to this: you are more wealthy than most of us so think you need to have a long think about your values. Enjoy your brunches with friends and long hot baths as these things are a luxury for some people. Actually all people going back 100 years. Appreciation is key. Appreciate what you have. It could disappear in the blink of an eye.

Anyone on £140k can set themselves and their children up for life, especially at your age. A sensible budget, substantial investing and let compound interest do its thing. You could be in a better position than them by their age.

I don’t get why you think you’re in such a different boat?

OP, check out the FIRE threads for practical advice on how to make your situation as financially beneficial as possible. Lots of good advice there. Maximise income, minimise costs, diversify investments, start early to maximise compounding over years. Start small, biggest gains come toward end. Don't be jealous of others or spend to keep up appearances. Instead focus on making sound, long term financial decisions that are best for you and your priorities. And by all means, look to others for inspiration of how they've achieved what you aim for. Nothing wrong with that, just find a way to not be jealous, but focus on facts and identify what from their situation you can learn and apply yourself. Good luck 🙂

People were have a lot of money never have enough, people who have little money never have enough, but for very different reasons.

£140k doesn’t go far in London for a young family.

What? They had control over….when they were born?

why not just appreciate the things you do have in life. You could have been born in Gaza. You sound…unpleasant.

Yanbu to be depressed that things you have no control of affect your life, whether it be something like when you with were born, where you were born, skin colour, where your great grandparents were born, whether you're make or female, your height, the list goes on and on, it hits almost everyone in some way (even royalty, look at the whole Harry debacle)
Yes maybe it would be good to swap lives with someone else but honestly just live your best life.

This

If you’re in your 30s you have a lot of years ahead of you to build a property portfolio of your own. It’s not impossible starting from your sort of income, a lot harder starting from nothing as they may have done, but you have to be prepared to sacrifice and work hard. Being jealous of someone with twenty odd years more graft and experience behind them is a bit pathetic.

This is a moot point as you have said that being a landlord isn't for you. You wouldn't have chosen to be a landlord then. Yes, she has been lucky that stock markets and home prices have been on an upward trend.

I don't know why you didn't believe her when she said they had a property portfolio, lots of people have used that strategy of leveraging their assets. It is risky but has worked for them.

Another post proving money can't buy happiness or contentment. We earn about half of your salary and I can genuinely say I'm not jealous of friends or neighbours that earn more.

Yanbu to be disgusted with yourself.

How is that her fault? She doesn't deserve your disgust, and you seriously need to get several grips and realise how utterly unreasonable you're being.

Whinging when you're 140k a year. Cop on!

I am 39 years old. I earn £28k . I have 2 children. One of those is autistic and will always be dependant on me. I rent and my rent is extortionate. I am in a lot of debt , I will likely never really be out of it . I highly doubt I’ll ever be in a position to buy . I am working as hard as I can in a career I have not long qualified in , in the hope I can put something by for my children . But you know what ? I am not jealous of you . I am not bitter about anyone having more than me - because I have 2 beautiful , healthy children. I always have food in my cupboards , whether it’s through scrimping , looking for bargains or klarna - I always manage to give my children things they need. I love my job and I am making a difference . I have a roof over my head , I have warmth and shelter.

Maybe you actually need to look at what you do have rather than what you don’t.

I kind of feel sad for you that you are so unsatisfied in a life that would be a privilege for so many ( financially anyway ) that you have to feel bitter about someone 20 years older than you reaping the rewards of what they have built.

There are other places to live.

I wouldn't want to be a landlord because I wouldn't want the responsibility of providing a house for someone. It would be too stressful if their boiler broke for example and they didn't have any hot water.

Why would that be particularly stressful? You can employ lettings companies to deal with this sort of thing if you don't want to do it yourself. If I had an income of £140k, I would be investing it in property and the stock market. Your neighbour got rich by speculating and investing, if they'd just put their savings into ISAs, there's no way they would have anything like the level of wealth they have now.

I wasn't sure how to reply to this, it took me by suprise. You have a healthy wage coming in, between me and my partner we don't earn that much and I've been to university for 4 years for career development.... you are indeed in a fortunate position. There are people who have highly trained jobs who are struggling to make ends meet or working multiple jobs to even feed their family..... why not compare yourself to these people not your neighbours who are double your age with a wealth of life experience and careers.