To think that DD(8) and DD(1) will always have to share a room when older?

[roomnightmare]

NC’d

I have 3DC: DD 8, DS 6 and DD under 1. DD2 is my DH’s child, older two have a different (same) dad. Before I get comments about bad planning, DD2 was a, very usually reliable, contraceptive failure. Obviously I’m thrilled she’s here now but we didn’t plan at all on having more children.

Currently in a two bedroom flat with a home office that we’ve made DS’ room. It has a high rise bed with his drawers and toys underneath and that’s it, it’s very small. We’d always planned to upsize but we can only afford a 3 bed here and even then, not many are in our price range. We can’t leave the area for so many logistical reasons and even if we could, DD8 would struggle greatly with moving and it would be detrimental to her happiness and well-being.

DS would actually love to share a room with DD2 but that’s not feasible long-term. DD2 is still in our room and will be until we move.

We’re viewing a 3 bedroom house which I’m trying not to get too excited about but would be ideal in terms of it being 3 proper bedrooms and it also has a very small home study which would mean that DD2 could have a cot/toddler bed in it and that she wouldn’t need to share with DD8 until she was out of the toddler years. But given that we can’t widen our potential area, AIBU to think that they will always need to share a room? Dining rooms are very rare here and if you’re lucky you might get a kitchen diner but not a separate dining room. I feel bad for DD8 as when she’s a teenager it won’t be amazing for her; I’d mitigate it as much as I could by letting her have friends round and either giving them the lounge or the bedroom and keep DD2 downstairs or in my room when she wants her friends over and again giving her peace to study when it comes to it. Has anyone else been in this situation? I feel like a bad mum but 3 bedrooms are usually £150k less than 4 bedrooms here and I don’t have that extra £150k+.

Sorry if the DD 2 is confusing, I just mean my second DD who is a baby.

For reference I have 3 girls and 1 boy

@Barnbrack we have this challenge with my son and we bought a 80x160 bed frame.

they’re supposed to last until approx 10-12yrs old (he’s nearly 5 and 112cm tall and loads of space) but it fits in a box space much better than a 90x190 single bed and amazon sell the right size sheets etc. apparently they’re popular normal sized in Germany (so says google)

You take the loft then and split the room you and DH were going to have?!

Me too !! 🤣

It is normal unfortunately, since house prices are so high. We have a 2 bed terrace, DS14 and DD11. Last year we turned the living room into a third bedroom, so now they have a double bedroom each, and we have the one reception space (dining room connected to the kitchen, but now the living room). It's worked out really well - in our area, to move to a 3-bed with the third bedroom having more space than just fitting a bed in, we were looking at min £100k more than our current house, we just couldn't do it. For a couple of years prior to the refurbishment, we split the room by having a divider and DS had a cabin bed with enclosed space below for his PC etc. We now probably have the best space in the street for single rooms for kids, it's common for the kids to be sharing - next door have 5 kids in a 3 bed terrace, two of the kids sleep in the parents room.

My girls have a similar age gap and they didn’t mind sharing for a long time (even though we have more bedrooms than people). However when DD1 got to year9 it became impractical. She had homework, stayed up late reading and just didn’t have the same routine as her 7-8 year old sister. Also, the things she was doing at that stage were making the little one grow up faster than she should - overhearing her sister on the phone, peeping into her books, seeing her obsess over hair/looks etc.
So we separated them and it was a huge relief. I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner.

I think even with best intentions it’s going to be hard to share a room with that age gap. You might want to consider the younger 2 sharing until DD1 is off to Uni.

Yes it’s fine for sisters to share! Since you mentioned it, I don’t think it makes a difference they’re half sisters.

Could maybe do a sort of split with a large kallax unit and boxes in. Extra storage and more privacy. But even without I think it’s fine.

More or less same situation as us except we're in a 4 bed.

Have you looked at town houses? Me and husband wanted a three bedroom but could barely afford the 2 and a half bedroom option, as I call it. That’s 2 bedrooms and a small room that could be a cupboard, office or toddler room.

Then we found a five bedroom town house for less than the 2 and a half bedroom houses.

Room sharing could change too - why not have the younger ones share now they are both small. They should get same gender rooms at age 10 or so I believe. Then you can review who is in what room as ages and needs change?

Would a small single work in smaller room? My son was fine in one until he was 11.