Who is being unreasonable re weekend cleaning & DC in bed?

[SuggestedPig]

Me and DH both work full time & also have a toddler DC together.

I find that in order to keep on top of the house it helps to have one of my weekend days having a good clean, bed stripping, hoovering, wiping down surfaces, cleaning bathroom etc..

I prefer to wake up on a Sunday and get this stuff done so we can enjoy the rest of the day.

DHs older kids are teens and stay most weekends. As typical teens they tend to sleep in quite late i.e. 11-12ish on a usual Sunday.

DH thinks I should not hoover upstairs until they wake up. I think this is ridiculous. They can stay in bed for as long as they want but the rest of the house should not have to put their day on hold so they aren't woken.

We have a 3 yo so I am woken up every day, weekend or not, by 7am. I am not sitting around until 12 to be allowed to hoover up in my own house so teens can laze in bed all morning without being disturbed.

Surely that's just part and parcel of family life. You can stay in bed but the rest of the house gets on with their normal day while you do!

What time are you hoovering? There's a big difference between waking everyone up at 7am and waiting until 10am.

Just to be clear I am not hoovering at 7am but I'd say after sorting downstairs I tend to move to cleaning / tidying upstairs about 9/half 9.

It then means we have the rest of the day to go out and take DC to the park or whatever.

Agree with this.

It depends. You’d be a bit of a dick to hoover at 8am knowing others like a lie in, but 9/10 onwards is fine.

I think yabu, it's polite to wait till people are up, I think it would be ok to do it at 11.30 though, that's a good lie in.
Or, get the teens to do it after lunch while you go out.

Sleep is important, and many teenagers are chronically sleep deprived. I think you should wait until at least 10 or ideally 11.

No not at all, we tend to wake up around 7ish. Then after getting DC dressed, breakfast, having a scoot over the kitchen etc downstairs it's around 9ish when I move the hoover upstairs.

I just don't want to have to wait until lunch time before I can finish off and start our day properly.

Our 3yo will happily watch some cartoons for an hour or so in the mornings but I don't have endless time to tidy until he starts wanting to play / go out somewhere.

YANBU & I bet they sleep through it anyway. 9am is a lie in for them even if they do wake up.

Well yes, because they are staying up until 1am-2am on their Xbox through the holidays!

Could you not just re-jig your day? Breakfast, dressed & then park in the morning while they have their lie in, tidy/hoover etc afterwards?

Do a deal with the teenagers. They get to sleep in provided they do the upstairs hoovering on Sunday afternoon. (They can take it in turns?) They ought to be doing other chores as well at that age. Is Dh on board with that or is he mollycoddling them?

If he or they are not happy with you hoovering early in the day he or they can do it later?

It’s a hoover, not a lawnmower. I hoover whenever the mood strikes me. Even in my teen’s bedroom when he is sleeping.

To hoover a few rooms, you’re talking what….10 minutes?

My view is that whoever does the majority of the cleaning does it at their discretion.

50/50 on this one. Why wouldn't you do the cleaning at the start of the weekend out of interest?

If DH wants it done later maybe he should do it?!

If I was having a lie in I’d be annoyed if anyone started vacuuming upstairs. Just do it at another time, it doesn’t take long. Or get them to do it once they’re up. There no need to do it whilst they’re trying to sleep.

Massively mollycoddled imo. They are never made to do anything in the house.

I have suggested this several times but it's never implemented and there is always an excuse as to why they can't, meeting friends or whatever. DH does absolutely everything for them.

DH can do the hoovering at 11.

They don't say anything tbf. I'm pretty sure they sleep through it or just go back to sleep afterwards anyway! They still don't emerge until lunch time even when I have been hoovering.

Then your husband can vacuum at some point around their sleep pattern. It doesn’t take long and doesn’t need to be an issue.

@helibirdcomp I was just about to suggest the same thing. Offer them the choice, either you hoover to your schedule approx 9-9.30, or they hoover, properly, when they get up while you're out with the toddler.

I'd be wanting to return to a clean and tidy house with nothing else to do on Sunday afternoon except sort out the food for everyone.

OP. Just hoover when you want. Ignore your DH. Teenagers sleep through it!!!

I have 18, 15, 9 and 7yo. Primary aged DC up 6/7am. Teenagers up around 11/12noon and they sleep through hoovering.

No way would I not hoover just because they're asleep 😴 🤣🤣

Are the teens there on Saturday morning ?

I’ve raised teens and mine didn’t always hear hoovering so I’m 50/50 on this.

Can you move it to Saturdays?

Before 10am is mean, if you were my neighbour I wouldn’t be happy either. Why can’t their dad vacuum later, there’s plenty of non noisy cleaning

This is exactly it. Coming home to a tidy house is so much better than coming in after chasing a toddler round for hours and having to do it then, whilst also having to cook and deal with a now cranky, starting to get tired 3yo.

Just to save DSC 10mins of slight noise at 9am.