To not understand why I only ever gain weight while trying to lose it

[SEmyarse]

I've been overweight for years, but not hugely, I usually sit at about 11 stone naturally (at 5'5''). I would like to be slimmer, so inevitably I go on a health kick, and ALWAYS put on weight. People are going to start going on about muscle weighing more, but it totally doesn't feel like that at all, it's always just my stomach getting larger. And then I'll fall off the wagon and settle back to 11 stone again.

So 2 years ago, my youngest child left school, and it dawned on me that I've been trying to lose weight for 28 years, this is ludicrous, I have NEVER lost a single pound, that I'm aware of, intentionally.

So eat less, move more, right? How hard can it be? Two whole years now of getting up early, 20 min walk to the gym, 40 min there, 20 min back. Then off to my fairly active job, first hour lifting and loading things in the depot, then 6-10 hours deliveries. Obviously driving isn't super active, but it's short drop, I'm doing 25-30 an hour, always run back down driveways, or flat steps. I've never been a big eater at all, just bowl of cereal in the morning, and dinner at night. Dinner's vary a bit since DH cooks, but that really doesn't seem like a lot of food for my lifestyle. It's only standard stuff, pasta or potatoes or salad etc. I cut out the biscuits that I used to snack on completely. And apart from a glass of orange juice with breakfast I only ever drink water.

And now I'm 14 stone, what the hell am I doing wrong?

The answer, unfortunately, is calorie counting.

But I'm eating LESS than I was when my weight was stable, and moving MORE. Why wouldn't I have gained this weight then.

And one bowl of cereal, and a standard plate of dinner really doesn't seem a lot for someone active 10 hours a day on average (6 days a week). I do have a day off on Sunday, but we'll often go for a long walk. And I do zero snacking now, even though I used to.

one bowl of cereal, and a standard plate of dinner

How many calories each day?
What did you eat before, how has it changed?
Are you less active than you were two years ago?

Weigh the bowl of cereal, calorie count it and the dinner. Work out how many calories you should be consuming to lose weight. Do the work.

The laws of thermodynamics apply to everyone. Calories in and calories out is all that matters.

How is your figure? Are you solid feeling?

Unfortunately, you are older now and I swear, the older you are, the less carbs you need.
Instead of cereal, try Greek yoghurt, berries and a tblsp of muesli or nuts.
Eggs are better.
instead of pasta, chicken and veg. Or any protein and veg. Pulses if you prefer vegetarian.

It certainly doesn't sound like you are eating much considering how active you are, so I feel your frustration. Have you had your thyroid checked? And protein in the morning might be better than cereal.
The only time I successfully lost a lot of weight was with intermittent fasting. I had tried calorie counting which was just awful - apart from making life utterly miserable, the weight didn't stay off. With intermittent fasting you eat whatever you want within a limited time, eg a window of five hours. After a few weeks, you stop wanting the processed stuff - it's like a reset for the metabolism.

I find this absolutely impossible. I just feel so crap if I don't have breakfast, so to eat only within a few hours of that would mean no evening meal at all. I might be able to skip breakfast if I weren't so active, but I start feeling really dizzy a few hours in.

Yes, I am very solid, but it's all on my gut. No squish at all. My arms and legs and genuinely thin, and I have absolutely no bum and hips at all.

This is what frustrates me. Regardless of what the daily totals are, I am definitely miles more active and eating less than I was 2 years ago.

I can't really calorie count, because DH gets really grumpy if I start pestering him about what's in everything. But honestly shouldn't I be able to eat a plate of pasta and veg after a super active day?

Everyone I work with takes in heaps of sarnies, crisps etc to keep them going. I don't eat a morsel during the day

What do you actually eat op? You mentioned breakfast and dinner...do you eat lunch? How big are your portions? Unfortunately I find exercise doesn't have a huge impact on weight loss unless you're at athlete levels. Its mainly about the food. I do understand though...I weighed 14 stone two months ago but have lost a stone on wli. I struggled so much before.

AND I've never kept going this long before but whenever I've got fed up and caved before I randomly find my weight has settled back to 11 stone after a while. That's when I've started snacking again

I don't have lunch, literally just cereal in the morning and then dinner at about 7

I think my dinner's are fairly standard, and tbh I often don't finish them, I find it difficult to eat much if I'm proper knackered

You must be starving. It does sound like you eat very little but it's all quite carby by the sounds of it. I can understand why you feel how you do...it does seem unfair

If you don’t have a health condition like a thyroid problem, then the issue is always diet.

If the weight is only on your front, it might be worth going to the doctor in case there is another issue (e.g. ovarian cyst).

28 years sounds tough! Are you willing to try a different approach? This is how I do it: swap cereal for protein and fat (eggs/bacon/avocado/sausages). Ditch the orange juice, ditch bread. Ditch as much stuff with flavourings as you can. Eat more, don’t diet.

Your husband maybe be adding a pack of butter to every meal. No one can advise if not even know what you’re eating.

If you are not accurately counting calories, it's all guess work and hopeless. I think you will be shocked at how it adds up.

I don't eat any bread at all, haven't for years. I honestly don't think I could eat something heavy like meat in the morning, I'm genuinely not much of a food person. That's what's so annoying, I hear people say about weight loss injections. I don't think I'd ever do that anyway, but I also don't think it'd work, I just don't get particularly hungry. The only hardship is not eating the biccies I used to snack on. But I really shouldn't be putting ON weight this way

Have you seen your GP?

Have you had a thyroid and diabetes check?

I was pre diabetic and did a mid carb diet to lose weight and my blood sugar went down too.

I do understand calories in /out but insulin resistance seems to affect what i do with the calories in. It seems to really matter to my weight

Which is a fair point BUT it seems bonkers to me how little I can eat when I'm almost permanently active. How on earth much would I need to eat if I had an office job? I even went through a crazy stage recently (for a grand total of 5 weeks) where I tried to work in the depot early morning (and went to the gym in the evening). That's all heavy heavy lifting for 5 hours straight, and then the deliveries after that, and then the gym. No difference (apart from knackering my knees)