To not understand why I only ever gain weight while trying to lose it

[SEmyarse]

I've been overweight for years, but not hugely, I usually sit at about 11 stone naturally (at 5'5''). I would like to be slimmer, so inevitably I go on a health kick, and ALWAYS put on weight. People are going to start going on about muscle weighing more, but it totally doesn't feel like that at all, it's always just my stomach getting larger. And then I'll fall off the wagon and settle back to 11 stone again.

So 2 years ago, my youngest child left school, and it dawned on me that I've been trying to lose weight for 28 years, this is ludicrous, I have NEVER lost a single pound, that I'm aware of, intentionally.

So eat less, move more, right? How hard can it be? Two whole years now of getting up early, 20 min walk to the gym, 40 min there, 20 min back. Then off to my fairly active job, first hour lifting and loading things in the depot, then 6-10 hours deliveries. Obviously driving isn't super active, but it's short drop, I'm doing 25-30 an hour, always run back down driveways, or flat steps. I've never been a big eater at all, just bowl of cereal in the morning, and dinner at night. Dinner's vary a bit since DH cooks, but that really doesn't seem like a lot of food for my lifestyle. It's only standard stuff, pasta or potatoes or salad etc. I cut out the biscuits that I used to snack on completely. And apart from a glass of orange juice with breakfast I only ever drink water.

And now I'm 14 stone, what the hell am I doing wrong?

Hmm I would get checked out OP. You exercise a lot and don’t eat much, you shouldn’t be the weight you are. And also the fact it’s just on your stomach and is hard.

Maybe you need to try eating more often.

Have break, lunch and a smaller dinner. It seems like your body prefers little and often so not sure why you are fighting it when it also makes you feel unwell.

What you are doing now isn't working so time for a different approach.

Just eat 2 meals a day...totalling no more than 900 calories. Bingo!

Because you're not fueling your body the way it needs.

Your diet sounds mostly carbs. What's the point of lifting heavy weights in that case?

How much protein and fats do you get in your diet?

Weight loss is incredibly simple - consume fewer calories than you expend. That is it.

It is not that hard to measure out every ingredient, weigh the total meal in the pot, do the maths and then weigh out how much is in your plate.

A large bowl of cereal and milk can easily be 600 calories. A portion of pasta and sauce and cheese can reach 800 calories or more. You won’t know if you don’t track every mouthful.

I think you need to calorie count, it doesn't sound like you're eating enough at all. I'd also work out what your bmr is and start there. I always put on weight when I eat less than 1600 calories, at 1800 - 2000 I lose weight.

I second this also. You could have a health concern such as an ovarian cyst.

I’d put on weight with a carby dinner / breakfast. I haven’t eaten pasta or cereal for 20 years. But ultimately it comes down to calorie counting. The only way I can feel full on maintainance calories is by eating less carbs and more protein.

I don't know the why, but I am in the same boat as you.

I started Mounjaro in May. At the starting dose of 2.5mg and now I'm micro dosing at 3.75mg. I've lost about 1.5lb a week. It takes the edge off hunger and food noise.

Now I rarely eat bread/pasta/potatoes. I do still go out and drink alcohol. Just this evening I was out with family and had pizza and tiramisu. I just don't eat as much. Tomorrow I will eat my leftover pizza 😁

Despite recently being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and being on medication for that, plus starting estrogen for perimenopause and the massive reduction in calories due to Mounjaro, I am only losing weight very slowly. It doesn't make sense

You cut out snacks and put on 3 stone? Over what period of time?

Tell me about it OP. I joined the gym and decided not to weigh myself so I didn't get demoralised. Went 3 times a week for over a year. Decided to weigh myself, expecting a lovely surprise...I'd put on 10 pounds. Everyone said it must be muscle so I bought those scales that show body composition. NOPE my fat % was categorised as "extremely high".

I quit the gym and have started couch25k, plus following Mediterranean unprocessed diet...we'll see what happens. I'm 6 weeks in and so far have put on 2 pounds.

I think it must be perimenopause or the hrt side effects in my case.

If @SEmyarse is not losing weight on a bowl of cereal and dinner then it’s portion size or more simply too many calories going in. I think if she weighs her usual bowl it’s probably much too big.

A large bowl of cereal and milk can easily be 600 calories. A portion of pasta and sauce and cheese can reach 800 calories or more. You won’t know if you don’t track every mouthful.

Agree with this, cereal is calorific, I bet the OP isn’t eating the recommended 30gm portion (which is child sized!) and if she is eating say shreddies or sultana bran for example plus milk the calories can be really high.

@SEmyarse 7pm is too late for dinner .
Your metabolism slows down then .
can you do some time on the treadmill
before breakfast (start metabolism ) then eat and have a healthy soup for lunch .
then an early dinner with protein ( not carbs you body wants to store )
Then if you can exercise after 7pm it kick starts your metabolism again as it’s wanting to slow down

nothing after 7pm, however if you must then make it fruit

You're focusing on the wrong thing. You're focusing on exercise. Which is all well and good but if your goal is to lose weight then you need to decrease the amount of calories you are consuming.
Have you ever watched those ridiculous 600 LB people shows? The doctor in that show gives every single one of them (and anyone else who is overweight) the exact same prescription: Consume fewer calories, and of the calories you do eat (he usually restricts them to 1200 per day) there's no sugary crap: no fizzy drinks, no junk food, no highly processed food, no "white carbs". It's a protein versus carb forward diet.

If you don't address your calorie intake then you aren't going to lose weight. Because ultimately when people do more exercise they typically want to eat more.

Muscle actually doesn't weigh more than fat - they weight the same - it's just that one is more dense than the other. And the reason you may feel you look "bigger" when you try to exercise is that you may be adding some muscle, but youre not doing much to address the fat that's already there. And it takes a calorie deficit to do that. Otherwise the body will just be burning the fuel your adding every day by eating rather than doing anything to shift the fat that's already there.

Easier ways to lose weight? Have other people do the same thing with you.

Reduce your food portions - one of the easiest ways to do that is use a smaller plate/dish for your food: people have a tendency to fill up plates and eat the lot - whether they are hungry enough or not. Don't do that.
Remove fizzy drinks and booze from your diet - they are wasted calories.
Start looking at the ingredients of the stuff you are eating: stop eating anything that contains ingredients you can't pronounce or have no clue about. You'll find that a lot of processed junk has emulsifiers in it - just stop eating that stuff. Restrict yourself to "whole foods" - i.e. food that hasn't been messed around with and had a load of additives put into it.

Exercise is great: walking and swimming are two of the best forms of exercise if you are overweight. Women oftentimes do not do enough weight bearing exercise, but if you go that route then get a trainer who actually has qualifications in dealing with people with joint problems.

Physician here.

Get the bloods done. FBC, renal, liver, tfts.

Do you have any underlying condition that can effect weight loss ?

I have polycystic liver. It effects weight loss. I was on GPL1s for it and have lost a few stone.

Go back to basics. Whole foods. Calorie counting. If you genuinely can't lose something is going on. Good luck !

This is problematic. I could do the gym before breakfast, not after, although it makes me feels crap. But the rest is impossible, there's no time to actually stop and eat something at lunch (gig economy) so something like soup is out, and then I eat at 7 because that's when I get in.

I know everyone's harassing me to calorie count, but I really don't want to cause the hassle with my husband's cooking. I'd be trying to calculate what he's cooked, which will raise this dreaded subject again, and then just push it around the plate as usual because I'm too knackered to eat by then. And then he gets all stressed that I'm not eating again, I get all upset, and he points out that he's lost a load of weight because he doesn't eat breakfast, but I really CAN'T skip breakfast. Whatever is on my plate, half of it ends up in the bin, so any accurate weighing has gone out the window anyway.

People talking shit on this thread. For example 500 calories extra of butter? That’s over four tablespoons, how’s this guy fitting it on a reasonable portion of toast?

OP, my assistant had this. She has PCOS. You need to get medical investigations done.

Watch a few episodes of Secret Eaters. (You can find old episodes on YouTube) Every one of those people said the same things as the OP and every one of them discovered (quelle surprise!) that they had the exact same problem. I won't state the problem here; go watch an episode - game changer.

Kindly, if you don't change anything you're doing, then nothing will change.

I think you have a husband problem rather than a weight problem. I don't say that to be arsey but reading between the lines this is what's jumping out.

I think you should prioritise yourself and your needs. Organise your own meals, use an app to log calories (Nutracheck is easy) and grey rock him when he starts. There will be other posters who can articulate this better than me but I wonder if your weight issue is part psychological.

Is this a case of perspective, OP? You say you have a "super active" job but aside from the loading in the depot you are sitting down and driving almost all day, just getting out for deliveries and to go up and down driveways- right?

You then walk 40 mins a day as well as that (to and from gym) and you don't go into detail about what you do in the gym either.

Perhaps it feels a lot because you're working long hours - which is probably leaving you tired - but in terms of exercise it doesn’t sound massively different to someone who, say, walks to and from the train station or bus stop and does a gym class as well.

It sounds like you're a bit hung up on the fact that you think something has gone "wrong" here as you think you're very active - but it still does sound like you're just eating more calories than you're burning.

I'm your height and I think to lose weight you may need to try and have 1500 or less per day.

It sounds like you have to be eating more than that else the weight would be going down slowly but surely.

You could be having 600 calories on a cereal bowl for all we know. And 1800 calories at dinner even if it's potatoes or pasta like you mention. Only way is to calorie count and it's not easy because you need to weigh things and even count a bite here and there while you cook and how many ml of oil you use to cook, any sauces you put in etc. It could be, that, in an effort to eat healthy things you are eating foods with more calories i.e. a peanut butter and banana toast can have more calories than a toast with bacon and egg, a handful of nuts, can have more calories than a packet of crisps, a salad with avocado and a full fat dressing could have more calories than a stew. Honestly without us knowing exactly what you are eating and the amounts is impossible to say.

I’m also 5 foot 5 and very active. I need to eat around 1500 calories also to loose weight.

Being active though has very little impact on fat loss. The only way to loose fat is to control your food intake. Bottom line is that you’re eating too much. Just because you don’t eat a lot doesn’t mean you’re not eating excessive calories. I can eat huge amounts on 1500 calories. It’s all down to your food choices. Being active can also be counterproductive as it makes you more hungry.
I know you said you’ve stopped snacks etc but your calorie intake is still too high. The only real way to find out is to track your intake for a couple of weeks so you get an idea of how many calories you’re eating.