To not understand why I only ever gain weight while trying to lose it

[SEmyarse]

I've been overweight for years, but not hugely, I usually sit at about 11 stone naturally (at 5'5''). I would like to be slimmer, so inevitably I go on a health kick, and ALWAYS put on weight. People are going to start going on about muscle weighing more, but it totally doesn't feel like that at all, it's always just my stomach getting larger. And then I'll fall off the wagon and settle back to 11 stone again.

So 2 years ago, my youngest child left school, and it dawned on me that I've been trying to lose weight for 28 years, this is ludicrous, I have NEVER lost a single pound, that I'm aware of, intentionally.

So eat less, move more, right? How hard can it be? Two whole years now of getting up early, 20 min walk to the gym, 40 min there, 20 min back. Then off to my fairly active job, first hour lifting and loading things in the depot, then 6-10 hours deliveries. Obviously driving isn't super active, but it's short drop, I'm doing 25-30 an hour, always run back down driveways, or flat steps. I've never been a big eater at all, just bowl of cereal in the morning, and dinner at night. Dinner's vary a bit since DH cooks, but that really doesn't seem like a lot of food for my lifestyle. It's only standard stuff, pasta or potatoes or salad etc. I cut out the biscuits that I used to snack on completely. And apart from a glass of orange juice with breakfast I only ever drink water.

And now I'm 14 stone, what the hell am I doing wrong?

PCOS would not cause her to gain MORE when trying to lose it though...

A lot of people that have resistance to insulin have the apple shaped figure. Which means you should limit your carbohydrate intake. Try swapping your morning cereal for salmon, eggs, courgettes, broccoli, chicken or something with a minimum amount of carbs, no toast, cereal, muesli, porridge etc. Then have either bread, wraps, pasta, rice or potatoes for your other meal but only one portion ,not double carbs, for example chicken,salad and rice ok. Chicken, potatoes and rice would be a no no.

I would say you have to go to endocrinology doctor and do blood work. I understand your frustration with calorie counting. Some people can't count food after it gets cooked!

we don't know why is that, could be that she eats hidden calories in form of juices or sugary tea/coffee... or she has hidden calories in her dinner.

but anyways, it would be good idea to go to doctor.

Well she did

So you have a bowl of cereal for breakfast...then nothing all day until dinner when you might eat chicken salad with no dressing and not finish it...and you're putting on weight doing that? If that's the case, then I'd go see a doctor. Or else you're hugely under estimating what you're eating. I struggle to lose weight so appreciate how hard it is but if I ate cereal then nothing till dinner and picked at a chicken salad I'd definitely lose weight.

Calorie counting definitely works. I couldn't understand why I had put on weight until I tracked what I was actually eating. You need to include everything - drinks, snacks, spreads, salad dressing, cooking oil etc.

Try yoghurt & fruit for breakfast - it's surprisingly filling but low calorie.
Don't just eat an evening meal at 7 - it's late and you'll probably eat more because you're hungry. Eat earlier or have lunch so you eat less in the evening.
Cut out the pasta.
Have either lunch or tea with no carbs.
Don't drink lots of takeaway coffee.

Also bear in mind that men need more calories so if your dp is cooking tea, you may be eating too much that way.

11 stone is the top end of the ideal weight for your height so you are/were not too overweight anyway.

Measure your waist weekly; you should see it becoming smaller.

I'd go to the doctor if nothing works just to check thyroid.

Hi

This is the post that stands out to me - it’s really not a normal distribution of fat. Please see your GP

Yes, I am very solid, but it's all on my gut. No squish at all. My arms and legs and genuinely thin

Another thought. Do you drink a lot of alcohol, OP? Or fizzy drinks? Among people I know, those who carry a lot of weight around the middle tend to be those who drink a lot of sugary stuff; whether that's wine or Coke. The amount of calories in that stuff really adds up (and sugar free versions aren't much better, for various reasons..)

This sounds really tough on you. It sounds like you have an active lifestyle and what you describe eating doesn’t correlate with your weight, which must be so frustrating and feel very unfair.
Are you on any medication? Birth control?

I know you have a routine with your DH, but if you really want to tackle this, you need to be completely in control. I would speak to him and take charge of your own meals for the next few months (or longer).

Don’t focus on calories. Focus on nutrition. Dominique Ludwig is a great nutritionist. She has a couple of programmes that can help make sure you are getting everything you need. Plenty of fibre, protein, veg. This should help put your DH’s mind at rest?

Maybe look up the Glucose Goddess. She focuses on stabilising blood sugar levels as these can have a huge impact on health. NB, a glass of orange juice a day is really not healthy. You definitely need breakfast (especially with a physically active job), but you should look into options that will help stabilise your blood sugar for much longer. Like protein, fibre and fat whilst avoiding refined carbs.

Sounds frustrating OP, but don’t give up! Focus on your health not the number on the scales.

Have you had thyroid etc checked? If not go to GP and get that checked.

If all ok then what you're eating isn't working for you.

What cereal do you eat? I had gestational diabetes in pregnancy so checked blood sugar after every meal, I had to cut out all breakfast cereal, a bowl of rice crispies put my blood sugar up to 13. Ice cream and Indian take away didn't even come close both peaking at 8/9. Breakfast cereal should be an in a rush occasional breakfast in my mind and even then only porridge, shredded wheat or weetabix type things. Other cereals are awful.

You also probably need to eat smaller amounts of healthier food more often. I do slimming world so I'll have say fruit and yoghurt or eggs and veg for breakfast. Lunch is a sandwich or pasta salad, dinner is some variation of lean protein, veg and non bread carb. Snacks are fruit.

Calorie counting doesn't work as well for me because I end up eating tiny amounts of high calorie food and being starving and giving up

Ive come back to stay start with your GP.

I have this exact problem. I see people pulling their plates high and I eat child’s portions

As someone with PCOS it definitely can because if I eat like op is eating, big portions twice a day you get a blood sugar spike and an insulin spike and your body stores everything you don't immediately use as far because fo the excess insulin. Then your body struggles to access the energy in fat and you get low blood sugar and dizziness in between.

Eating essentially 4&5 small nutritious meals works so much better with PCOS because you want to have a slight deficit running all day to let your body not lay down more fat and have lower insulin so you can balance your glucagon and access the fat you have for energy. It's also accepting weight loss is slower and for me I actually can't lose weight without taking metformin to help with the I sulin resistance situation. I tried everything in my 20s and never lost an ounce and then went on metformin and coupled with a healthy diet lose weight like anyone else.

Exercise is not the main driver of weight loss. It's good for overall health but doesn't shed pounds. Mostly we just feel hungrier and eat more after exercising.

The thing to focus on is food. Don't start your day with orange juice - that will spike your insulin straight away. Don't have lots of pasta and potatoes - same thing there. Don't snack between meals - that will also keep insulin high.

I'd recommend reading 'the obesity code' by Dr Jason Fung. It really explains in depth what is happening to our bodies when we eat different things, when we calorie restrict, when we fast etc. I successfully went from an obese BMI to a healthy BMI once I understood my body better.

The most likely reason is simply that you are eating too much. If you hear hooves think horses not zebras.

MIL would tell you that she eats very little. At mealtimes she'll put a little spoonful on her plate and talk about how she couldn't possibly manage a whole portion. If you pay attention though she's always nibbling on something while she's pottering around the kitchen. It's easy to forget about calories consumed with your fingers while standing up.

People fall into the trap of thinking that being active means they can eat big meals. Actually you have to do A LOT of exercise to burn any significant amount of calories. Your body is also very good at clawing those back. Like people go to the gym then rest for much of the day, basically undoing the benefit and meaning they're no further forward than if they'd just had a normally active day.

If it's too hard to count calories in your evening meal, start by counting everything else, taking an educated guess at the evening meal and have less of the carb element and more of the veg.

I agree with people talking about blood sugar levels. And that correlates with your description of being dizzy at work.
If you eat something high in sugar like cereal, orange juice, a banana, your blood sugar will spike and then crash.
The crash will make you feel awful and make you crave more sugar.

Focus instead on eating foods high in fibre and protein, like chickpeas and beans, add seeds to your food. Get loads of veg into your diet, and add foods high in protein and healthy fat like real Greek yoghurt. (Note: Greek style yogurt is not the same as Greek yoghurt recipe or real Greek yoghurt!)

Could be perimenopause kicking in. have you had one of the over 40s health checks as it might give guidance on things like your blood sugar and cholesterol etc. It does seem like your diet it quite carb heavy, what about protein and fibre?

Maybe have something like an omelette or greek yoghurt for breakfast perhaps

I listened to an interesting podcast episode recently related to this. Apparently for women, eating less (or skipping meals) then exercising actually puts our bodies into a state of stress, meaning that losing weight is unlikely using that approach.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2EV0Mv07qs5XzmYwfJZg08?si=O9aiYBObQhKyOWZ4XhOvNw

Wouldn't you rather tell your husband you are going to count the calories in your dinner than keep doing what you're doing ?

If he's so concerned about you why would he have a problem with you tracking what you're eating, if you've talked to him about your struggles.

I've no idea what to suggest because eating one bowl of cereal with orange juice and half a plate of dinner after walking 40 minutes going to the gym for 40 minutes then working in a moderately active job every day but gaining 3 stone doesn't really sound possible tbh. Your calories are most likely off.

I am 49, 5'5 and weigh 60kg my maintenance calories is about 1500 because of my lifestyle. I generally track what I'm eating in order to maintain I don't just guess, then put on weight but refuse to track what I'm eating.

Could be that when you think about your diet you end up eating more than you normally would because you are thinking about some “allowance “ rather than responding to your body ?

eg if you normally actually eat 1600 calories on average but you think a diet should be 1600 you would not lose

and if you change the type of food you eat - stuff that takes less processing in your body or even just think “I’m dieting” so you end up doing a tiny amount less exercise ?

you don’t mention lunch - if you have an active job a decent lunch and breakfast are important

I meant to say exercising THEN eating is the stressor. Apparently it's best to always eat before you exercise, for women.

Yeah but they're burning it as they go.

You say there is no time to eat at lunchtime but your colleagues are.

You're eating what is quite possibly multiple plates of fat and calories heavy pasta and then going to sleep.

You say you eat a banana and the don't want to finish dinner...so don't finish dinner. Take it for lunch the next day or freeze it.

The problem seems to be that your husband cooks big meals and you eat more than you want so his feelings don't get hurt and then wonder why you're carrying extra weight. It's because you're eating more than your body wants you to eat.

Everyone's different, but I know I could basically eat 3+ bowls of pasta and not feel full because its soft and easy to eat.

I get so frustrated when people say this - sometimes it's not just calories in v"s calories out. From what OP has said, weight on her middle, getting dizzy, eating very little and exercising and still putting on weight it sounds like a medical condition and she needs to see her GP.

This happened to me recently! I don't have any advice, I changed my entire diet drastically, and gained a stone in less than 2 weeks.