To not understand why I only ever gain weight while trying to lose it

[SEmyarse]

I've been overweight for years, but not hugely, I usually sit at about 11 stone naturally (at 5'5''). I would like to be slimmer, so inevitably I go on a health kick, and ALWAYS put on weight. People are going to start going on about muscle weighing more, but it totally doesn't feel like that at all, it's always just my stomach getting larger. And then I'll fall off the wagon and settle back to 11 stone again.

So 2 years ago, my youngest child left school, and it dawned on me that I've been trying to lose weight for 28 years, this is ludicrous, I have NEVER lost a single pound, that I'm aware of, intentionally.

So eat less, move more, right? How hard can it be? Two whole years now of getting up early, 20 min walk to the gym, 40 min there, 20 min back. Then off to my fairly active job, first hour lifting and loading things in the depot, then 6-10 hours deliveries. Obviously driving isn't super active, but it's short drop, I'm doing 25-30 an hour, always run back down driveways, or flat steps. I've never been a big eater at all, just bowl of cereal in the morning, and dinner at night. Dinner's vary a bit since DH cooks, but that really doesn't seem like a lot of food for my lifestyle. It's only standard stuff, pasta or potatoes or salad etc. I cut out the biscuits that I used to snack on completely. And apart from a glass of orange juice with breakfast I only ever drink water.

And now I'm 14 stone, what the hell am I doing wrong?

Unfortunately, it'll be because you're eating more calories than you need.

You really do need to track everything properly- cereal, pasta, potatoes etc can be quite calorie dense.

I’m no expert but could you be eating too little? So metabolism slows as the body thinks food is scarce for the activity level. Happy to be corrected 😌

Fair question, 48. And maybe, but I've been trying to lose weight intermittently since I was 20. The only time I've lost shedload of weight was the subsequent 2 pregnancies (appalling sickness)

Yes you will need to know exact amounts, and to know how much of that you’ve actually eaten, that’s what accurate calorie tracking is

It sounds like you’re saying that you barely eat yet are putting on lots of weight. You probably need to see a GP about that, as it sounds very unusual and it’s worth ruling out any other no -food related issues that might be causing weight gain. The GP might ask you for an accurate food diary though, as part of that.

How accurate are we talking? If for instance I cooked a load of pasta and veg, but then split it between 4 people I really don't know exactly how much pasta/veg/cheese ends up on each plate. Doesn't it all end up a bit approximate?

In what way are you obsessed?

I only ask due to peri and menopause could be causing it my stomach is huge went up 2 dress sizes overnight paid to see private specialist had tests done and it’s took 4 years and I now accept it’s visceral fat and have no clue how to get rid. It could also be medication if your on anything?

Strange. If what you say is true then the injections wouldn’t work anyway.
Either you’re deceiving yourself and eating more than you think, eating the ‘wrong’ foods (highly processed, highly flavoured, low nutrient content), or there’s something medically awry. If you’re confident it’s not either of the first two then a gp visit might be wise.

I really don't know exactly how much pasta/veg/cheese ends up on each plate. Doesn't it all end up a bit approximate

Here's the problem.

You need to weigh every gram of each ingredient you're having, to know how much you're eating.

But you rarely finish what? You’ve no idea! Weighing a portion of pasta takes 20 seconds.
My DH was exactly like you, indignant that he was gaining weight and he wasn’t over eating and it wasn’t fair!
Until I suggested he accurately weighed everything for one month. The butter he put on his toast? 500 calories more than he’d “estimated”. His pasta portion? Almost 1000 calories. The dressing he put on his “healthy” salad? 400 calories. Once he actually saw the calorie content of what he was eating, he made appropriate changes and lost weight, after previously claiming it was”impossible”.

Mainly exercise I guess. I've never been able to sit still anyway, I'll try to convince myself that a load of situps before bed will help, or if I wake up in the night I'll go for a long walk. Always thinking of ways I can keep moving.

@SEmyarse ideally you weigh everything including the portion you serve yourself if it’s not easy to work out what amount it is from the whole dish. It’s just for a relatively short period of time even though it’s a faff, but it is the only way to get any kind of handle on the calories you’re consuming.

Or, if eating biscuits is what keeps your weight down, then go back to eating biscuits. Perhaps snacking regularly means you eat less at dinner and your overall calories are lower as a result.

It’s old school but weight watchers worked for me. Paying money some how made me try harder plus I think their app is amazing. Once I got down to about the 10st 7lb, I went to the gym.

Im 5ft 7 and now 10st 1lb, I’ve had a long break from the gym but have started to go back.

My base rate has been 10st 4lb for about 5 years now.

At my heaviest I was 13st 2.

I didn’t just diet though, I sorted out my gut health. I read than slim people have different gut bacteria to over weight people. So I went to Holland and Barrett and got a strong supplement.

It's so easy to underestimate isn't it!

A friend of mine had no idea why she was gaining weight after starting a new job, her diet hadn't changed.

And it hadn't! But she was having a Starbucks latte with syrup (460kcal) every morning on her way into her new job...

She didn't think to include drinks in her calories! Once she cut that habit out, her weight went back down to normal, albeit slowly.

You dont need weigh it forever. I got used to how much a serving of pasta suitable for me looked in a bowl and can guess pretty accurately now. Same with rice. I know how many tablespoons is a portion for me.

Well the only one of those that could apply is the pasta. I don't eat bread and I don't have dressing on the salad. And even if it was more than I imagine, how on earth little are inactive people eating?
And back to the original question, why do I only put on weight when I cut out snacks?

Op this may sound strange but it sounds like you need to eat more, like where’s the fruit, veg, protein in all of this? Do you drink water?

edited to add I list over a stone by drinking loads of water, halfing carbs, eating a boiled egg for breakfast instead of cereal, not snacking after eight, cutting out fizzy drinks and junk food but I was MISERABLE. I’m still keeping the amount bread and cereal down but not as much and am back onto fizzy drinks and some junk but I don’t eat it after eight. The love handles are back somewhat but life isn’t easy so I’d honestly rather have them!!!

Ah okay.

Exercise really won't help that much with weight loss to be honest - I lost 90% of my excess weight with zero exercise. I'm careful now as exercise increases my appetite so much, it's counter productive - as long as you're fit and strong that's the main thing.

Honestly I think you just need to calorie count to get a clearer picture. You'll be shocked!

Yeah, I drink loads of water, but it certainly FEELS like I don't eat anywhere near enough for what I'm doing. I have very little protein at all, but it just seems to fill me right up straightaway.

It doesn’t matter about what happens to other people who are inactive. Often they put on a shit ton of weight! Over time, gradually. Or they eat a lot less than you. Or they do a lot of exercise around a sedentary job. It’s not a mystery really.

As to why you apparently only put on weight when you cut out snacks, as already mentioned perhaps the regular snacking means you eat less at meal times so you calorie total overall is lower. The only way to know though would be to accurately track your calories….

Hi What supplements did you use? Thanks.

Because you are, unconsciously, eating more of your main meals to “make up” for not having snacks. And you are over estimating how active you are. For the last time, get the free app and track everything you eat and drink. It’s free and takes 10 minutes per day. It will help you.

I found this book very interesting in coming up with some theories about why it is so hard for some of us to lose weight. I can't vouch for the science, but a lot of what he says resonated for me.

I have been trying to lose a bit a weight. Around 1 stone is my goal.
i was intermittent fasting for around 4 months and I didn’t lose a single pound. I’ve now bitten the bullet and started calorie counting with my fitness pal. The weight is starting to come off now.
slowly.
im a bit slack and I don’t weigh anything, I guess really.. but it seems to make me aware enough to consider that I’m eating. I am still fasting at the same time.
so far I have lost 5lbs in 3 weeks.
I hate calorie counting too but it does work.

oh, please don't. Eat a low UPF diet @SEmyarse and be happy.
Like is too short to weigh cereal