Child coming over the fence to play at 7.35 am

[Wantmorenachosbutcant]

This morning as I was just coming into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast for Dd, I opened the kitchen door to the garden and Dd was already out there (have told her not to go in the garden unless one of us is up and there in the morning) with her friend climbing over our fence to play (low fence, then climbs onto our garden bench-not dangerous)
Behind our house is her friends grandparents house, the mum had dropped her off at her mums, so she could presumably go early to work and her mum then takes her to a kids club later on, on her way to work (they leave around 9am)
and this friend had come to play
Aibu to think this is far too early?!
I like to sit quietly in the garden with my coffee in summer and just wake up..basically! They were on the trampoline, then I was having to tell her not to climb on the top step of the slide and jump off etc.
They weren’t particularly noisy, but I was aware that some people would still be in bed and so on
As I was washing up, I heard her shouting to her grandma about something and her shouting back that she could just stay for a bit until they had to go to the kids club place.
All the toys were everywhere and by 9 I felt really stressed, plus we were going out and I was trying to get Dd to get ready. I said to her afterwards it’s fine at weekends or a day after kids club/school, but not this early in the mornings again.

Aibu and a grumpy sod spoiling the fun or would this be as annoying to you as it was to me?

Trampoline before 9 is a no no in our house. Even if they’re not squealing, the bounce noise is annoying AF

Not an issue at all. Let them enjoy themselves, 7.35 is hardly early!

Have a word with her DGP. It is too early.

You’re not unreasonable for being miffed by this, but I do think you’re unreasonable for just allowing it to happen.
In one of your replies you referenced really not wanting to speak to the grandma about this…is there a reason why? Are you afraid of her? Is she not very nice?
It’s too late now as it’s already happened but I honestly just wouldn’t have allowed this. I would have sent the child right back over and n very firm with it. Then, I would have spoken to my daughter and reminded her she shouldn’t just be letting herself out so early in the morning.
My fear for you is now that it’s happened once, it’s going to happen again. You must speak up next time and just send the child right back, and tell her grandma it’s a no.

I feel sorry for your other neighbours, I dount two kids on a tramp at 7.30am was quiet.

As a neighbour I'd be pissed off with all of you
But it's your child out of control - and nothing to stop her wandering off outside with neither parent about - suppose she wanders off down the road & gets run over?

She’s 7, she wouldn’t wander off down the road

you presumably thought that about her wondering outside in the garden at silly o'clock before anyone was up, and she'd expressly been told not to🙄

Going into the garden is a bit different to her opening the door and gate and heading off somewhere…I hope…!

every now & then I read threads on MN where everything completely perplexes me. This is one of them.

You should have brought your DD inside and sent the other child home immediately. By letting them play for a short time you rewarded her when she did something she's been told not to do. You don't need to involve the other mother/grandmother, just parent your own child.

Good morning “neighbours name” we don’t have friends over until after 9am, so we’ll see you later on. cmon Dd get inside let’s get ready for the day.

simple to the point but not mean or cutting off opportunities for other play time.

im sure if your neighbours saw your dd outside playing at 7.30 they would’ve thought it was ok if they usually play together. Most children would join a playmate over a fence or not. The concept of it being too early wouldn’t be a thing.

if DD is allowed to play out at that time I can’t see the issue with another joint as long as they’re not screeching. If not then you just have to bring your Dd in and it solves the issue.

Yes it is far too early. This type of thing is why I have a love hate relationship with living on a road with loads of children where my kids have a ball playing outside but I’m also driven demented by similar types of carry on.

Bring her straight back if she comes again and tell her you’d love to see her later!

A taller fence is in order

Or, if the child is particularly athletic, perhaps an edible hedge. Preferably with dog rose in.

I think a good drop kick back over the fence would suffice!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Meh, I still think it's better solved with a "Come back later" rather than reading two kids harmlessly playing the riot act.

I do find it weird that we've reached a stage where we're getting furious about kids climbing walls to play together. We moan when they're stuck to their screens, now we're mad that they're making friends over the fence and playing.

I think its great that kids can play together without everything being arranged by a parent, however, 7.35 is a bit too early for trampolining. Just tell the neighbour child to come back later and lock your back door so your child cant get out before you get up.

Locking your back door until 8:30 is a good plan.
Explaining to Granny that you need to be contacted (after 8:30 am) is reasonable.

Your own daughter needs some boundaries about eating breakfast and dressing for the day ahead before playing too.

@Wantmorenachosbutcant I’m sorry but wtf is your SEVEN year old doing going outside unsupervised before you are up?

GET A SAFETY LOCK.

anything could happen ffs.

That is far more ridiculous than a kid coming to play (who you should’ve said ‘no goodbye’ to).

The safety of this baffles me.

We had intrusive kids next door. It was always dismissed with “kids will be kids” etc… Fucking drove me insane. I have enough kids of my own thanks. Not raising yours. Final straw was waking up to find one of them helping herself to our fridge. She had jumped her back fence, walked into our back door which I had left open while I was in the loo and gone right into our fridge looking for ice lollies. I returned her to her mother (still in bed) who pulled out her quote “kids are kids” and I said, no…. That’s HER kids. Nobody else’s kids run feral like hers do. That’s THEFT and NEGLECT. She needed to start parenting her own kids and teach them some fucking manners before I called the police. (It really was the straw that broke the camel’s back after a looooooot of boundary-stomping)

@Wantmorenachosbutcant this is a Recipe for disaster that needs nipping in the bud without discussion.

Explain to your daughter that it's not to happen again and if she takes it upon herself to go into the garden when she's told not to, consequences! She's 7, she's old enough to understand. If you don't put a stop to it, she could be emboldened and next thing you know, she's off somewhere she shouldn't be.

It is too early for two children to be trampolining and playing out, some people don't sleep well or work shifts. Gran next door is bang out of order, maybe the child's Mother should be made aware of what's going on.

I’m with you: I think it’s sweet those two can’t wait to play together. And if they weren’t noisy, what’s the harm? It reminds me of my childhood when we used to climb fences or knock on a friend’s door to see if they were in. Parents and grandparents would often put baguette, butter and chocolate on the table (France) for us to help ourselves. Nothing was planned - we just went with the flow and rolled with it. I’m a bit sad DD didn’t grow up that way.

I opened the kitchen door to the garden and Dd was already out there (have told her not to go in the garden unless one of us is out there)

Tell DD to stick to the rules.

When neighbours grandchild knocks on your (locked) door tell her DD isn't allowed to play before school