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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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11
SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:36

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:35

We gain revenge, and that feels good. Like justice has actually been done. And it’s not just him - I feel the same about all child killers.

You are confusing justice and retribution.

Robin67 · 24/07/2025 23:36

I said the same thing when I read the article in the Times and the BBC

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:36

SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:33

Yes, I am one of them. Over a decade spent working with all sorts of people, including paedophiles, murderers and rapists is yet to convince me that the DP would be a good thing.

What sort of work do you do with such people?

OP posts:
novanova5 · 24/07/2025 23:38

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SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:38

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:36

What sort of work do you do with such people?

Rehabilitation where appropriate and comprehensive risk management where it’s not.

SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:38

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And are you always this rude?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 24/07/2025 23:38

I agree. He is an oxygen waster.
Poor beautiful baby.

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:39

At least there is some justice sometimes - but it still doesn’t come close to what their victims suffered.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/jan/03/sara-sharif-father-police-investigate-after-reports-of-prison-attack

OP posts:
Never2many · 24/07/2025 23:39

We can’t base punishment on our emotional responses though. Where does that end?

So you feel he should be put to death based ojn the fact he killed a child. But what if others argue that he should have acid poured over him? Petrol and burned alive? Should we consider those?

your wish for the death penalty isn’t based on the wish for justice, it’s based on your desire for pain, revenge, on your feelings if this was your child.

WhereIsMyJumper · 24/07/2025 23:39

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You are embarrassing yourself now.

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:40

SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:38

Rehabilitation where appropriate and comprehensive risk management where it’s not.

Well, you’re a better person than I am. But why work with the perpetrators and not the victims?

OP posts:
PollyBell · 24/07/2025 23:40

And anyone who has or brings a person in a child's life who harms them should also be charged, if a person is not appropriate to breed with then dont

Maybe if both partners get charged people with think twice who they sleep with or move the next partner in ie 'step' parents in because they want a replacement partner or put sex before the children they decide to have

novanova5 · 24/07/2025 23:40

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SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:40

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:39

At least there is some justice sometimes - but it still doesn’t come close to what their victims suffered.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/jan/03/sara-sharif-father-police-investigate-after-reports-of-prison-attack

God, this is hard work. That’s NOT justice and violence in prisons needs to be extinguished not applauded.

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:42

SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:40

God, this is hard work. That’s NOT justice and violence in prisons needs to be extinguished not applauded.

Have you read what Sara Sharif went through?

OP posts:
SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:42

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:40

Well, you’re a better person than I am. But why work with the perpetrators and not the victims?

Because working with perpetrators goes a long way towards stopping repeat behaviors and thus preventing future victims.

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:43

@SummerEve Let me remind you.

Sara was hooded, burned and beaten during a "campaign of torture" that lasted two years before her body was found at the family home in Woking, Surrey, in 2023.

OP posts:
novanova5 · 24/07/2025 23:43

@WhereIsMyJumper In what manner? Is it because I believe these dreadful individuals should not be allowed to continue living?

SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:43

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You must be rude to yourself an awful lot then

Robin67 · 24/07/2025 23:43

UnderCoverB0ss · 24/07/2025 22:59

Legalising murder makes us as bad as them.

No it doesn't. Killing an adult who murdered a child, with a lethal injection, is no where near as bad as the violence that he inflicted on a 2 week old baby who was born prematurely and still on NICU when he killed him. He had a fractured skull, a fractured jaw, fractured spine and fractured legs according to the BBC article.

WhereIsMyJumper · 24/07/2025 23:43

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:35

We gain revenge, and that feels good. Like justice has actually been done. And it’s not just him - I feel the same about all child killers.

I get it, I really do. After little Arthur was killed and I saw footage of him crying and saying nobody loved him I was beside myself for weeks. I kept imagining scenarios where terrible things would happen to the monsters that killed him. I kept googling that woman’s name in the hope that I would read that something terrible had happened to her in prison. I was obsessed.

Then I realised that one of the things I hated those murderers for was for making me feel the way I felt. For making me fantasise about another human suffering and dying, it felt like an ugly part of me that I wanted nothing to do with.

Thats why the emotion needs to be removed. Revenge is emotion-fuelled.

ilovesooty · 24/07/2025 23:43

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No. I said that what you said was ridiculous. I did not personally insult you. You have described people who disagreed with you as disturbed and have doubled down on what you said. You've also now described me as dim.

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:43

SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:42

Because working with perpetrators goes a long way towards stopping repeat behaviors and thus preventing future victims.

I don’t believe anyone could have prevented Sara Sharif’s murder.

OP posts:
SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:43

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:42

Have you read what Sara Sharif went through?

Yes. Tell me how the assault on her father made ANY difference?

SummerEve · 24/07/2025 23:44

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:43

@SummerEve Let me remind you.

Sara was hooded, burned and beaten during a "campaign of torture" that lasted two years before her body was found at the family home in Woking, Surrey, in 2023.

You don’t need to remind me of anything, I live and work in the local area.

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