Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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A builder making more work for themselves, as well. Sounds unreal.

She says very clearly in the OP that he “left for work”. He was not there.

When she says earlier in the post that he stayed at home she is talking about him not accompanying her on the holiday. On the day, he was not at home.

I don't want to derail this thread but weirdly am in similar situation so would love some more advice - can you recommend some websites? Garden design books? I don't know where to start.

How truly unbelievable of them.

I haven’t rtft but I wanted to comment. You poor thing, I too would be extremely upset if this happened to me too. Unfortunately some people have a slash and burn mindset which doesn’t allow for any sentimentality over plants, trees etc. As far as I’m concerned, if a plant self-seeds and grows somewhere, I’m grateful for that and always let it stay. I think if you have a respect for nature that is how you think.

No matter how much your plants had overgrown, they were your plants and I imagine that’s why you’re feeling so upset. It’s a violation of your previous efforts.

My guess is they maybe thought they were doing you a favour? Thinking you would change the layout?

The only positive I can think of is that the ideal planting season will be upon us in a few months which gives you time to imagine and plan how a garden in your new space might work for you now you have the extension. Over winter you will be able to buy bare root trees and some shrubs that will be lots cheaper than the potted types.

Over a year for an extension??

Are people incapable of writing a letter without Chat GPT these days?

Mind boggling.

You’re obviously not a gardener 🤣

if the roots are left in, shrubs will grow back.

Okay usually I roll my eyes at the MN armchair detectives but I agree with the posters pointing out the inconsistencies here.

A building team so slow they are A YEAR behind suddenly manage to uproot an entire garden, including well established trees big enough to provide privacy and a whole lawn, which required "a team" of men (all of whom were, what, just sitting around chilling before getting the call and springing instantly into action?) in the space of one working day?

Where did they put everything? If the builders own stuff has been hanging round the garden for months where did they take all this AND multiple trees, bushes etc.? Presumably there's no skip or anything so did they also make multiple tip journeys in whatever car/small van they usually drive to work in, as well as actually doing all the digging over the space of those few hours? (Bearing in mind most tips now charge professionals per dump).

If they are builders how did they even have tools to be uprooting whole trees?

And, moat unlikely of all, they agreed to do this massive job not only without discussing any specs, to the point where "tidying up your own equipment" became "clear my entire garden of any greenery" but without clarifying additional payment?

That sort of complete garden clearance would probably cost several grand on its own, particularly with the "team of men" needed, but builders father just decided to do it that morning?

I completely understand @INFJismyvibe i love my garden. What an awful thing to happen. It’s obviously a complete misunderstanding but that doesn’t make it any better. 💐

This is going to sound mental but are you sure they got rid of everything rather than taking some of it somewhere else?

I cleared our average sized garden and it’s bloody hard work digging up trees/established bushes and lifting turf. It took me multiple weekends and I still have some tree stumps I need to deal with. He must have had a big team in and I can’t see why you’d do that for free unless there was some sort of financial incentive.

Also you can still tell the builder you’re unhappy, even if his mum is in a hospice. That’s not your responsibility and, given how long the job has overrun, could just be a convenient excuse.

It just doesn’t add up does it? Massive trees gone and dug up in a day, by one man?

We had a huge fir tree removed at the bottom of our garden and it took a tree surgeon and his two colleagues all day. And even then, they couldn’t dig up the stump.

If moving his wife (builder's mum) to a hospice isnt a good enough reason to stop builder's dad working, then why are you giving it as a reason to not ask the builder to re-instate the garden/ lower his final bill?🤔

Clearly he needs to be in landscaping instead of building because if he takes a year over agreed time to finish an extension but can empty an entire garden - trees, turf and all in one morning, he’s missed his calling

OP very clearly says in her actual opening post that it wasn't just one man. She used a separate paragraph for the information and everything.

Thank you xx

Even a “team of men” will struggle to cut down multiple trees, dig out stumps, tear up the lawn.

Gutted for you, OP. Haven’t read the whole thread but did you sign a contract?

YANBU

plain and simple

Sorry, still jetlagged so not gone through all the replies. He got in a team of Romanian guys to clear the garden. The garden isn't big at all. The trees weren't mature, they were around 5 years old so still bearing fruit. the bushes were mature but they'd be easy enough to remove.

Totally possible to do in a day whilst DH was at work.

Anyway, contract or not, I’d work out the cost of replacement and deduct that from the money owed. Harsh as it may be, his wife’s (or any other family member’s condition)is not your concern. You paid for a job to be done and if he has operated outside the agreed terms then it needs to be rectified and it’s not on you to shoulder the cost.

No way.. that is a huge job and he’s expecting to be paid for it, surely?
That is definitely something you would discuss - pulling out trees?! The entire lawn!

You don’t ‘go mental’ but explain/be businesslike (take out the emotion completely) and explain it was not discussed and was completely different job, you’re not paying for it and it needs to be rectified - the lawn replanted and the trees replaced. I realise this is probably not going to happen but explain that they have now given you an extra big expense.

How do you know their nationality