Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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That's so kind of you! Thank you so much for the offer. Unfortunately I'm a few hours away from Notts :( but yes, will get onto my local Next Door group and see if anyone is giving plants away

Thank you for the practical advice, definitely taking this on board!

That's awful, but men cannot communicate effectively with each other, hence the shit show. Do you think you could get the plants back, I wonder what he did with them?

The builder cannot "argue a verbal agreement". Look up the consumer rights act. The builder would need to prove that they acted with reasonable diligence and avoided taking irreversible or destructive action without full consent.

Consent was not clearly established in this case - it was a dubious verbal "agreement" and a miscommunication. That does not cut it. It is not reasonable diligence.

I'm not saying what OP should/ shouldn't do, or how easy or difficult it would be to pursue it - simply that the law is not on the side of the builder here, and if she wanted to pursue it, she would have every reason to.

Not a gardener at all, but I absolutely love and appreciate other people's, and I am devastated for you, OP.
A pp suggested talking to the builder and asking him how he intends to remedy the situation - I think that might be a good way to go.

This is a lovely idea, thank you! I'll do that 😊

Mentioning their nationality helps explain the communication break down. You’re the one who said poor Romanians steal plants now 🤷‍♀️

I’m not a gardener at all but my mum could grow an oak tree from a leaf on the ground. If you’ve got a big space you need filling with something pretty, stick a Lavatera plant in there. It grows into a very big bush, very quickly, and has lovely flowers. You can get them so they flower and die once, or perennials so it comes back every year if you prune it properly.

Sweet Peas are great for hiding ugly fences. Runner beans do the same. Loads of greenery with little orange flowers (they’ll both need some string and/or canes to climb though). Tobacco plants are lovely when they flower and are quite tall, so good for putting behind smaller plants. The white ones especially are known as night scented flowers, along with night stock, so lovely if you like sitting outside of an evening. And Rudbeckias, phlox, nasturtiums, marigolds, lavender are all easy and quick with good ground cover.

I expect he thought he was doing you a favour, so you could lay some paving slabs, fake grass and an outside bar. But I would have been in tears. Fucking stupid idiot. Can you message him and say that he has completely destroyed a mature garden and what has he done with the plants because you want to see if you can rescue any of them? You might still be able to get the odd cutting if you’re quick.

That’s encouraging, my mum makes me prune everything right back. I bet they’ll be bigger than the originals in no time at all.

@FreezeDriedStrawberries

God shut up. Do you not realise what an absolute twat you look carrying on like you’ve just busted OP. As if you were the only one smart enough to realise ah-ha it was a lie all along! It’s akin to the thick fucks on any article about Madeline McCann ‘ThE PaReNTs KnOW wHAT HaPPeNEd.’ Fucking IQ of a goldfish.

This.

Who in their right mind would remove your trees bushes etc I'd be absolutely livid.
I understand the privacy part my garden was overlooked so needed all of these things .
The sentiment behind the things you have grown means so much.
You have every right to say to the builder they had no right to remove those things where was his brain.
Big hugs op feel this for you xx

I’m not for one minute suggesting that the builders are blameless or that they shouldn’t have to recompense her - nor did my PP say anything to that effect.

She asked for planting ideas of things that would grow quickly earlier in the thread, so (after expressing sympathy) I suggested some. Perhaps you missed that part of the thread.

Oh PP, I'm speechless reading this.
How unbelievable.
I would bd devastated.
10 years ago my elderly neighbour had their garden take half the height from MY hedge as they wanted to be able to see in.
I was do upset. Thankfully it grew back but I was beside myself with annoyance.

What a nightmare.
Definitely as suggested send the work out for cuttings to plant in the autumn and give a good tomato feed to what has been left.
Absolutely look for compensation.
That is not a nofmal reaction to removing builders rubble, ffs.

I would be inconsolable..sorry OP

Could you send him a brief text just saying ‘where are my trees and established plants?” Nothing else, and see what his reply is.

Oh OP, so sorry, I do understand. Had something similar a couple of years ago and it was two days before I could sit down and talk with the culprit because I knew I wouldn't be able to contain my emotions.
As others have said just take the time to get over it for now, and then you can start to plan your new garden, and enjoy that when you are calmer.

And for those being sneery, do you not have a pinch of empathy?
I know non gardeners won't understand the emotions but could you maybe just not comment if that's all you have.

Wow I’d be gutted like you are
He should be paying you not vice versa

Yes I get upset when my non gardening neighbours get a clown with a power tool in to “garden” and wreak havoc on the establish boundary borders.

Oh god @INFJismyvibe I'm so sorry this happened, I'd be exactly the same as you if this happened to me. This actually reminds me of a children's book I have called "Tidy" about a badger who gets carried away making his forest neat and tidy and rips up everything and concretes it all over then realises his mistake. He then has a change of heart and gets all the animals to help him put it all back and sort it out.

It struck me that the author was making a point about not having gardens or wildlife restricted and "cleaned" up too much.

Anyway, my dad is a retired landscape gardener and his advice is to wait for the autumn, see if you can get some established shrubbery and trees from reputable garden centres and plant them in time for the wind changing. Not sure where you're from in UK op but I'm Scotland and you can physically feel the change in air and the wind pressure as autumn starts.

I live really close to some lovely garden centres as I live near a valley with a river so I'm always popping in to see sales etc. sometimes pots are included! Also, as others have said, see if you can get some good manuals or online advice for quick growing. I got a few climbers from an online place called Roots which was really good.

Anyway deep breaths op and to quote gone with the wind, tomorrow is another day! X

Op can I pm you, I have lot of shrubs/young trees in pots that I'm hoping to give away but not sure how close you are. @INFJismyvibe

So sorry to read this as appreciate the sentimental issues. We have some lily of the valley growing in pots that were taken from my grandmas garden and she was born in 1900. There is little you can do about what’s gone but to get new growth established quickly, might I suggest you get in a lorry load of well rotted horse manure (many owners/stables give it away to get rid of it) dig a trench a couple of feet deep, line with manure, soil on top, plants and soil and growth is phenomenal. I’m sure if you ask around many people will offer cuttings plants for you - we certainly would.

And I was appreciative of your advice, thank you xx

You could fix that black woven landscaping fabric over the parts you’re not tackling now to keep the weeds down in the meantime. It cuts the regrow down to almost nothing, except round the edges.
Bare root plants (perennials, shrubs and trees) usually establish very quickly and are cheaper than container grown. We made a garden from scratch and it looked established within eighteen months or so, though the trees were obviously not huge.

Oh brilliant advice, thank you!