Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
.

Ehat in earth didi rhe builder do that for. It sounds mad.

Mature plants are expensive. They will be sold on.

Just have read the updates. So nothing ripped out really. Just trimmed a bit harshly....

And thank you for mentioning their nationality. That all made it the clearest one I've seen here in a while. Poor Romanians steal plants now

I'm sorry OP but this has made me imagine them taking your whole garden and recreating it somewhere else! Digging up the lawn is a really diligent extra touch to clearing the garden.

Shrubs are often pretty tough hopefully if they have just been cut back they will recover and go mad flowering next year

I love gardening and I absolutely feel your pain. I would be completely devastated. What a total moron to do this without having a specific brief of what to do. Plants are so expensive, take ages to grow and I also have sentimental plants from family members so feel your pain. I am a very reaosnable person but for this I would go ballistic and tell him: look I appreciate you thought youd help us out. But I am incredibly disappointed and you have causes me a lot of misery by this. I’d like to see all the damage paid for plus some extra for me having to now take months putting everything back together. I’d literally sue a contractor for this. I know some people won’t agree with that but I think it’s entirely out of order. Especially taking trees out!! The lawn ok you can just sow a box of seed for 15 quid, but the rest? Unforgivable!

No she said everything was ripped out save some shrubs cut back to stumps and the cherry tree.

As upsetting as this is think of the new design for your garden now . Many garden centres have big sales and I managed to get really large Red Robin bushes for only £15 each . You will be surprised how fast things grow. Maybe add wildlife section and bird feeders to encourage wildlife in to your garden.

Lawns take a hell of a lot of work to regrow from seed.

And to have even a small area re-turfed is £££.

What area would that be? I’m a lawyer specialising in a particular area of consumer claims, with a background in professional negligence claims against professionals. I mean, I’m not a garden clearance disputes expert though, so maybe I and the other Consumer Rights Act specialists who posted earlier are missing something?

Omg I cry for you! These things are irreplaceable, it's so sad 😢 I guess the plants are all destroyed and no way to get cuttings anymore if you'd contact the builder? Goodness me OP. As others have said, try to see a positive in that you can now redesign, but I would want a reduction on the invoice from the builder. Say you need to buy mature plants to reestablish your garden, they are very expensive! You'll be set back years ...devastated for you 😭
How can his dad have made such an error

If you say so.

I feel sick for you. Clearing the garden wasn't part of the work so they've caused damage. Where are the plants now? Just dumped? I would try to get them back.

That is awful, I would be absolutely gutted. By “clear the garden” I too would think that means clear his crap, not your actual trees and plants wtf was he thinking?!

You must be brilliant in court!

Wow.

I'm so sorry @INFJismyvibe . I've moved house recently and a friend took cuttings for me of very precious plants. Unfortunately they all died as she put them outside too soon. Initially I said don't worry but I did tell her later I was more upset than I realised. The garden I've come to is awful. I've spent weeks removing weeds, brambles and a hedge. It's been a lot of work but it is fun to think how I can start planting things soon. I have a rockery so have bought five little plants for there and planted two shrubs that did survive the move. I hope you can take some time to grief what you've lost, try and get cuttings and definitely knock off the cost of getting it back to the beginning if not the established garden you had.

The squabbling is getting boring now.

OP I would be incredibly upset by this. My son decided to "help" - God knows why; he'd never shown any interest in gardening before - by chopping back to a tiny stump a honeysuckle that had been given to me as a cutting by an elderly friend. It entirely covered an unattractive fence and smelled and looked fantastic for several months a year but of course out of season it looked dead hence his notion to rip it all away. I was fighting back tears; I know some people will find that ridiculous but I loved that plant and I used to send the old chap a photo every summer when it was looking beautiful. I can't imagine how that feels multiplied many many times. (Incidentally, the honeysuckle did recover but I really didn't think it would at the time).

I agree that you are due however much compensation is needed to get the garden back as close as possible to how it was. Over time it would be nice to gather cuttings and plants from friends and family - get people to split their hostas/liles/peonies etc - so that some of your plants still have personal meaning. And when you're on holiday or out for the day, buy a plant as a memory of lovely places you've been. However the builders need to take responsibility for the vast majority of the cost of refillling your garden; that's only fair.

have you thought of doing a face book post, explaining the issue and ask kind friends and relatives to donate unwanted plants seeds cuttings etc?

So sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved garden; I, too, would feel absolutely bereft.

If it's any consolation, you can have my 10 year 6' quince tree (Vranja) if you're keen on coming over to Nottingham (or anyone else?).

Maybe ask for plants/shrubs/trees in your local FB group/gardening group. I'm always giving away my divisions come spring/autumn time and I sometimes advertise in my local group or offer them in plant swap events. At this time of year, there'll be lots of people wanting to do up their garden, so you could chance it, possibly. This way you can save time and money on getting some free plants. Some new ones that you've not grown before. Give it a try.

Best wishes to you x

You haven't explained anything whatsoever about the reasons you think the way you do. You have just said "I know I'm right because of my experience".

That could mean anything. It could mean you're a lawyer or it could mean you had a bad experience with a tradie one time and came off worse because you weren't very well represented or didn't actually understand the law.

"I know I'm right" is not arguing or explaining your point at all, and gives no reason whatsoever for anyone to listen to you, it just makes you sound indignant.

If you don't want to say more then I really don't understand why you contributed at all, but OK!

This is absolutely shocking. This is theft surely? Please say you will fight them, or they will wreak havoc in other people's gardens, thinking they can get away with it.

Also, time to sow some biennials to flower next year ie . foxgloves, hollyhocks etc.,

Hi OP - I really feel for you over this, it is heartbreaking if you are a gardener.

I've done a number of gardens from scratch after a build. It always looks like a mud pit at first :)

On the positive side, most of the shrubs will rejuvenate, you will be surprised how quickly that happens. Give them a feed/water and mulch them. You could plant now but plants are more likely to do well if you leave it a bit.

I would use the time until later in the year to plan your new garden and select plants some fab plants and bulbs. If you plant bulbs in the autumn they will be out in the spring and summer. Alliums go with everything! Perennials planted in the autumn and spring will be flowering for next spring and summer. You can buy good value perennials from places like Thompson and Morgan Best Value Rainbow Perennial Collection | Thompson & Morgan. 72 plants for £13 will go a long way. Grasses to add movement.

I'd invest in some larger shrubs and trees to give some solidity and structure.

Fill any spaces with biennials like white foxgloves or annuals likes poppies.

If you want a lawn, do that in the autumn once you've planted your borders

It seems like an uphill task, but you have this :)

The law is a ass. Someone may well have truth on their side but the builder will argue a verbal agreement with the DH. And unless the Op is going to being the case herself, it will cost so much and invest so much of her time (years) and energy, that (in my opinion also) not worth it. Especially if any chance that his wife actually does have Stage 4 cancer.

It is a sad fact that a lot of builders get away with a great deal of dubious dealings because it simply is not worth the hassle and expense of going to law for an uncertain outcome.

Move quick Op and see if you can find out where things were dumped (although I bet someone had an eye on the plants -margins are just too tight to be doing extra for free).

Lost in translation is what it sounds like. You can easily see how there is room for misinterpretation.

Sorry OP I am in the camp of they are just plants and bushes and don’t understand how sentiment can be involved in these things but your builders did something wrong and it isn’t okay.

Your husband (and not because I am misogynistic but rather he had the conversation abiut the garden with the.builders) should speak
to them and understand the situation and what is being done to right the wrong. Too bad if he ‘doesn’t do confrontation ’. This isn’t confrontation. It’s being a grown up and owning up to a mistake that has been made.