Maintenance Payments Ending

[Hula0565890]

The spousal and child maintenance payments between me and my ex are due to end in September as per the court order. From Oct all costs of our kids will then be shared evenly between us.

My ex earns at least 3 times the amount I currently do. AIBU to ask if they will be willing to split the costs more than 50/50 in light of this, appreciating this cannot be enforced?

Surely you will give them money, and he will give them money. It’s not for you to tell him how much he has to support them. As PP said; it’s their choice to go to uni. Unless it’s stipulated in the court order, he doesn’t legally have to pay anything.

They could take on loans, or work like a lot of other people do.

I guess it depends on the relationship you have with your ex, the relationship he has with his kids and how he feels about what has happened in the past as to whether he will contribute or not.

I do think he SHOULD help with uni, but looks like he's under no obligation to

But you will still be entitled to 50 pc
I think that you have had a very good deal.
Obviously this is from my perspective, I had zero support

Why can't they get loans and a job like other kids their sgr?

Not if they go to university he doesnt.

All costs will legally cease, and that includes any agreed 50-50 split. The student loans will be dependant on household income of their main residence. Hopefully he will contribute to their uni costs, but you can’t do anything if he doesn’t. I think you’re pushing it asking for him paying more than 50%. He may have his own plans to help fund them at uni, my ex paid my son’s entire degree so he didn’t need to get a student loan. I just gave £125 a month towards food.

If I were dad is give the money straight to my children absolutely but I wouldn't be paying spousal maintenance why would he do that? Can you not work?

Its your young adult children who need to ask their dad for continued financial support I think. Also hopefully it will be received better if it comes from them.

Surely he would give any money directly to them now?

Agreed.

He's agreed to a 50/50 split moving forwards. So say the parental uni funding is £500 a month they both pay £250. But op cant afford the full half she is meant to.contribute so would prefer 70/30 or whatever.

I'd ask him. He should understand basic maths after all!

As far as I’m aware your ex doesn’t have to contribute to anything once the dc are 18. Even if they go to uni he’s not obligated to pay anything.

I am a bit confused. If the DC live with you (as in the main residence) then they complete student loan applications with your income. That will be assessed and any parental contribution will be based on what you (as in just you) can afford.
Their Dad’s salary isn’t taken into consideration so anything he gives them is entirely extra/optional and between them and him.

If you can’t afford to contribute then you don’t and your DC have to get part time jobs and student living loans.

They are adults. They will have to get a job and speak with their own father OP. Do you work OP?

You can ask, but they’ll be adults so he’s not obligated to pay anything. Obviously you know him so know if he might be open to that. At uni age they will probably ask/receive the money from each parent without involving the other.

You can't give what you don't have, and you can't borrow for retirement.

Your twins will be 18. Give what you can to support them at Uni; their father can do the same. It really doesn't have to be 50/50 at this point, especially as you earn considerably less.

OP why, are you not answering if you work?

Tbh I can't believe you get spousal maintenance, that's very rare and you've had the luck of the draw there tbh.

He can just pay them directly what they need, if anything. Why should it go to you?

Well then he can help them direct if he chooses. Payments to you should stop

Just tell your DC to contact their father directly and ask for support. He can perhaps pay for their laptop and say how much he will contribute to their living costs. Then you can decide what you can do too.

my recommendation is to leave your grown up children and your ex to talk about it between themselves - enjoy being out of the loop!

Op doesn’t say she doesn’t work

He may already have plans in place for helping them at uni. Just ask. Or are you expecting an amount to be paid to you to fund costs at home, eg share of utilities etc

Have the twins spoken to him about finance?

I guess it depends upon how cordial relationships are

She’s been silent on the subject…

reread the op, the answer is in there

My ex earns at least 3 times the amount I currently do.

Maybe, but I’ve seen people refer to their benefits as what they “earn”