To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

[alleoindup]

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

well yeah, she should be. She will be aware of his impulse control, and so they should not have been where he could get them unsupervised. By doing so she’s allowed him to do this. Obviously he needs to learn, but that’s her job as a parent and shouldn’t be at the expense of his sibling. Your second reply is nonsense.

And then it would be even more daft to be pissed off with them. In the normal world anyway.

You sound like a dick. HTH.

Clearly you’re making up nonsense! What’s your issue?

I don’t really care if I sound like a dick. It’s the truth - why on earth let him downstairs whilst the presents were out unsupervised. What actually is being a dick is setting your child up to fail and then being “pissed off” with them. MN is ridiculous - becuase if OP had said it was their dad who let them down unsupervised and they’d opened the presents all of the blame would be on the dad. Just becuase OP is a woman posting on MN does not make her a saint and does not absolve her.

I literally do not believe the people on this thread bleating on that the kid should've been supervised. I have young children and would go batshit if I just had to follow them about the whole time. Also I wouldn't be able to make them food or clean or go to the loo.
Just the usual twats trying to make an OP feel bad for completely normal parenting. MN always delivers 🙄
@alleoindup I hope you can just hide the thread if you haven't already done so. Sorry it's such a tough time for you right now

Well at least we can both agree that MN is ridiculous I guess 😂

Completely agree. The op clearly said in her first post that she is struggling with things.

then you get the absolute pile on from the bitch trolls, you know who you are knob heads

I agree. People are just being jerks for no reason.

I think people mainly mean the presents shouldn’t have been somewhere he could get them when unsupervised.

OP, there are plenty of people out there judging you and calling you a terrible mother, but that's not true at all. Just ignore them; they aren't part of your real life. Mumsnet is filled with too many individuals who aren't real mothers, just pretending and using the platform to judge and criticize those who actually are.

I may not have anything profound to add, but I genuinely wish you all the best!

With a dash of sarcasm: Mumsnet, the ultimate hub where "mothers" allegedly keep their kids locked behind bedroom doors and windows 24/7—how could I ever forget?

@party4you

this child is 4 years old. Plenty old enough to know that’s it’s his sisters birthday and therefore his sisters present and therefore not for him to open. Op has done nothing wrong.

This!!! my boy was going downstairs at that age on his own, guess what, he turns 6 tomorrow and is still alive and very much independent. His older brother (just turned 9) likes his sleep more and wants everything doing for him. Every kid is different, their baby sister is about to turn 3 soon and shes going to be like the middle child, free and independent lol although she does like more sleep than him.

Ex cept he's proven that's not the case

@Barnbrack

and it’s ok for OP to disappointed and annoyed by it!

@Barnbrack i think he’s ‘proven’ he can be naughty, for sure, it wasn’t good behaviour and he knows that.

To be honest I forgot about the presents; they were on the dining room table and when I went downstairs with him to put the TV on I didn’t really register them. I still think that a four year old knows that wasn’t good behaviour.

I get that sometimes we have to adapt things to suit children but treating DS as if he has no impulse control at all and is not at all responsible for his actions is not accurate. He will be at school in five weeks and he is one of the older ones: he knows not to help himself to other peoples things!

Im sorry that you've had a pile on here op . Sounds like you're having a bit of a crap time at the moment and this incident hasn't helped. Im very surprised at people's reactions here you'd swear he was a toddler and not a four year old who definitely should know better. I'd be shocked if any of mine behaved like this at 4 , it was a very bratty thing to do . Hope things improve for you soon xx

Stop being a dick. You’re all over everyone’s threads being rude AF.

I feel your pain, OP. Little kids can be so hurtful without meaning to be. I hope you can salvage the situation and feel lighter soon x

You forgot. It happens. We all do it.

But getting absolutely raging to the point of not being able to look at your 4 yr old, which si what you stated, and making a post on a public forum for support in your rage is not a normal response. Are you in counselling for your depression? Especially as your daughter is younger so could have been distracted while you quickly rearranged her present display and need never have known. It's just a big overreaction that's all I'm saying.

He's 4, even with the best impulse control a pile of wrapped presents is a lot to ignore, I suspect at least half of kids his age wouldn't have been able to leave completely alone. Birthday mornings we set the living room up with gifts after kids are asleep and noone goes down until birthday person goes down. They'd both be so excited about either of them having a birthday they'd wake their siblings anyway. But he didn't just go down, he asked if he could and you said yes. You could have avoided the whole thing

@Barnbrack you are being extremely condescending. I can feel whatever the fuck I want to feel. I don’t need or want your permission. I was pissed off and furious. It doesn’t matter whether I forgot or not, it does not give DS the right to tear through a load of presents.

I actually got over my annoyance relatively quickly. I told him off but didn’t say things like ‘I can’t look at you.’ The whole reason I didn’t want to look at him was because I didn’t want to overreact and I knew I was in danger of doing so.

Of course you can feel whatever you like but I'd seriously be looking at why I'd had such a disproportionationate reaction and how to improve that in your shoes. Manage things how you like but you asked if you were being u reasonable to be this annoyed at a 4 yr old. The answer is yes. You are unreasonable.

I am not really interested in dissecting why I felt briefly angry this morning when the answers are a) the mess and b) the work (rewrapping, finding out which gift was from who) and c) the fact that DS knowingly did wrong.

Well it is the case, but on this occasion he was naughty. Which is why OP is cross with him.

If he was of an age that he didn’t know better, she would not have been cross with him.