To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

[alleoindup]

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

I am well aware of impulse control. I'm also well aware that if an almost 5yo knows it's his sisters birthday and that there's presents downstairs and then asks to go down early (something he doesn't do) then he's already planned what he's going to do and his intentions weren't good. Is not rocket science.

https://youtube.com/shorts/ze8NzXu-80g?si=zsCmZldQflokLg

I love this video! Peanut butter baby!

No you don't, obviously.

@housethatbuiltme

so you’re saying Op needs to be with him
every second? When is she supposed to go for a piss??

Deducing it from her saying she was upstairs isn’t a very solid deduction. We know she had two children, we know DS was alone, therefore the more obvious deduction in my opinion would be that she was with DD for some reason, like helping her get dressed/washed/brushing her teeth.

They may not be stupid but they are daft. If adults can err (as seen on MN) why can’t children?

They can, but they can expect consequences and their parents to be angry with them.

No she wasn’t!!! Where did you get that from? Do you need help because you seem to be imagining things

I mean we could go on like this forever really couldn't we. I think you're doing kids a disservice more than I am by completely underestimating their capabilities.

So pissed off you can’t look at them?

Yes.

He didn’t kill the cat, he did a dumb thoughtless thing that has been blown out of proportion unless he has form for being a destructive menace.

If he killed the cat I'd be taking him for psychiatric evaluation not just not looking at him.

Again balance. You’re assuming (like the other poster did with OP being asleep) a certain level of maliciousness , that isn’t necessarily warranted.

No, from this

Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one

it sounded like she didn't know he'd gone downstairs as he doesn't usually.

it wasn't until a later post she said she'd given him permission when she was dressing DD.

she knowingly put temptation in his way, then was angry with him for giving into that temptation.

Some of these comments are mad. Of course a 4 year old can be downstairs alone for a short amount of time?! And 4 years olds are old enough to understand when presents are from other people and they shouldn't open them. This is 4 year old being incredibly difficult, not shoddy parenting.

OP - I'm really sorry you've had a rubbish start to the day, I'd be upset as well. I hope you managed to salvage as much as possible. My 4 year old is currently being a nightmare so you have my sympathy!

Considering even the OP who is the childs mother thinks it was malicious then I'd say that's the most likely scenario.

Clearly you've not read the thread.

I wonder if he just started with one then got into that Frenzy that kids do where they're just ripping ripping ripping. Not an excuse as he is old enough to know better.

So the single reason someone is upstairs is to be asleep?

That level of pain sounds hard OP, and it will make everything else feel more raw. If I were you I would ignore some of the more extreme responses on the thread. At about that age my sister was talking to her eldest on Christmas Eve about what they would do on Christmas Day. Saying "Tomorrow we'll wake up, we'll go downstairs, open our stockings from Santa. Then we'll have breakfast and open all our other presents. " She just forgot to say that they would do all that together. When DSis woke up she found that DNiece had gone downstairs, opened her stocking, had breakfast (judging by the used cereal bowl stacked in the sink next to the chair that DN had used to access the cereal and reach the sink) and then opened every single present in the entire house including all the presents for the rest of the family stacked ready to take round to our parents . DSis had to sit down and rewrap everything there with DN's help. Nearly 30 years later and DN is a kind and responsible member of society with no known ND type issues. And we do laugh about it now. You will get through this.

She knows her child better than anyone on here. She will know what his impulse control is like, if he can be trusted, if he is safe downstairs on his own or likely to open the vodka and eat washing capsules.
She is likely to know why he has done it not all the people on here.

Perfectly normal reaction, you're allowed to have feelings, and your parenting sounds absolutely normal. Sorry he chose to do this, hopefully you being so annoyed will give him pause in future, I am sure you did nothing whatsoever to harm or distress him, but he will have known you were not best pleased.

Can you tell us in which post (time) she has said this? I can't find it.

It’ll be with the post where she said she was asleep and didn’t know her child was downstairs…..